Kill La Kill: Season 2
by Emperorwatergate
Summary: Set two years after the events of Kill La Kill, Season 2 follows our heroes as they attempt to adjust to normal lives. But when enemies and allies both old and new appear, they must defend their world, and possibly their entire universe. Contains AU and other weird shit. Note: I don't own Kill La Kill, but you probably knew that.
1. In Which We Meet Our Villains

Doctor Houka Inumuta had found himself in a strange place, to put it lightly. Just minutes ago, he was handcuffed and being escorted back to his cell in Honnouji Penitentiary. The cannibal psychiatrist had lost consciousness, and had found himself here. The ground was completely barren and pure white. The sky glowed with bright yellows, greens, and blues.

In front of him was standing a bizarre entity. The creature was bipedal and humanoid. Inumata estimated that it was about 6 or 7 feet tall. The entity's feet were pointed and flat on the ground, like shoes. Its skin was pure white, like the ground. The arms were long, and its hands had slightly longer than average fingers. The chest had horizontal lines on it, leading the serial killer doctor to assume that they were either centipede-like legs, some horrid mockery of a rib cage, or perhaps both. The white head was completely hairless, and had no facial features. No eyes, no nose, no mouth, no ears, nothing. Just a perfect white sphere. The strangest thing about it, however, was its choice of clothing. It was wearing a striped red and white shirt, and a straw hat, much like a member of a barbershop quartet. It was holding a golden cane in its right hand, with the top resembling an eighth note.

Another unusual thing was that he heard Nelly Furtado's Maneater playing from somewhere:

"Everybody, look at me, me  
I walk in the door, you start screaming  
Come on everybody, what you here for?  
Move your body around like a nympho  
Everybody, get your necks to crack around  
All you crazy people, come on, jump around  
I want to see you all on your knees, knees  
You either want to be with me, or be me!"

Doctor Inumuta realized that the creature was singing the song, somehow managing to sound exactly like Nelly Furtado, and somehow managing to do so without a noticeable mouth. He also recognized the fact that the song was an obvious reference to his cannibalism.

He eventually managed to work up the courage to talk to the entity.

"Hello," said Inumuta, in his calm, emotionless voice.

"Oh. Hi there! I've been waiting for you, Doctor," cheerfully replied the creature, speaking in a bizarre voice resembling a combination of David Bowie and Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls.

"So..."

"Yeesss?"

"I have just one question."

"Yeeeessssss?"

"What in the actual fuck is going on?!"

"Well, for starters, I'm the Song And Dance Man. Buuuuuttt, that's a bit of a mouthful, so just call me 'Sir'!"

"Interesting. Now, why do you look like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like...that."

"Hmm? Oh, like THIS. Well, everyone who serves the Master looks like this."

"The Master?"

"The Master Of Puppets."

"So, you're not in charge?"

"Nope!"

"I shall only speak to the person in charge."

"Yeah, ha-ha, no. The Master doesn't like to go anywhere unless he absolutely needs to. So, you're stuck with me. You know, you're kind of a bitch."

"What?"

"Just waltzing in here, refusing to talk to me, judging my appearance. I mean, you're no prize yourself."

The doctor looked down, examining his orange prison jumpsuit and black shoes. He was rather fond of his light blue hair and glasses. Then again, he had chewed off his own lips out of both hunger and boredom. He was also wearing what the guards had so eloquently referred to as a "Hannibal Lecter mask".

"So, anyway, Doc, you might be wondering why I brought your soul, or consciousness, or whatever you call it, here."

"How do you know so much about me?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, the Master got me this file on you," replied the Song And Dance Man, producing a folder out of thin air. "You had a pretty normal childhood, became a psychiatrist, and then you killed and ate 30 people. You had the street name 'Hellhound', because the cops initially thought that your victims had been attacked by a pack of stray dogs. You then kidnapped and tortured one Detective Ryuko Matoi for three hours, which led to your arrest and incarceration in Honnouji Penitentiary."

"And why am I here?"

"We are in need of your skills. Specifically, that creepy-ass thing you do where you psychoanalyze someone and cause them to have a mental breakdown."

"And what do I get in return?"

"It's a surprise~"

Houka sighed. "Alright, who do I psychoanalyze?"

"First, are you familiar with the multiverse?"

"Yes."

"That just saved me a lot of time. Anyway, I'm gonna send you, the Houka of Earth-2, to Earth-1, where you'll find the newly resurrected Nui Harime. Here's a file on her."

The entity handed him a folder.

"Bitch is crazy. Psychoanalyze her and make her a good guy."

"Why?"

"You can ask questions later. Just go there, and tell her that her mom never loved her, or some shit like that."

"Fine."

A glowing, blue portal materialized out of thin air.

Houka stepped through the portal, and disappeared.


	2. The Psychological Dissection Of Nui

Nui Harime had recently been resurrected. She had absolutely no idea how, and she didn't care. All that mattered was that both she and her mother, Ragyo Kiryuin were alive. And even better, she had her arms back. Her eye was still gone for some reason, but that didn't matter. And even better than having arms, Ragyo was working on a way to alter her Life Fibers so she could wear Senketsu, who has also been resurrected. Even a little bit of the Primordial Life Fiber came back to life.

She found their new base of operations, an abandoned car factory, somewhat boring. Maybe she could paint it a bit...

She was so lost in her thoughts that she barely noticed the glowing blue portal that appeared next to her, or the man that stepped out of it.

"Hello."

This, to say the least, startled Nui.

"What the Hell?!"

"No need to be so vulgar. Nui Harime, I presume?"

"Hey, I know you! You're that nerd that Satsuki's friends with."

Doctor Inumuta's stoic expression behind his mask faltered for a split second upon hearing the name.

"I assure you that I am not him. I am Doctor Houka Inumuta. I don't exactly have the patience to sit here and explain the concept of a Multiverse to you, so just trust me when I say that I have no connection to your half-sister."

"I guess you don't really look like him. Why are you here, anyway?"

"I'm here to talk to you."

"To me? About what?"

"About you. And your family."

"Why?"

"You are just filled with questions, aren't you?

"Look, nerd, if you're gonna talk, talk before I kill you."

"Alright, fine. I'll talk. Let's see, what do I know about you? You're rather childish and cheerful. You're homosexual. You have a SEVERE Oedipus complex, and an incestual attraction to your half-sisters. You have sociopathic and sadistic tendencies. When you are injured or outmatched, you drop your childish facade and become frantic and aggressive. Describe yourself."

"I go wherever I want to go, and no one can stop me," Nui cheerfully remarked.

Doctor Inumuta laughed snidely.

"...What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just that, well, that, quite frankly, isn't true, now, is it?"

"Yes it is!"

"Ragyo Kiryuin can stop you."

"Well, that's because I love her, stupid!"

Doctor Inumuta laughed harshly.

"What are you laughing at now?!"

"You love somebody who doesn't give a rat's fucking ass about you."

Nui was taken aback, before regaining her composure.

"...Well, love and hate are the same thing-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," interrupted Houka. "You misunderstand me. She does not hate you, either. She has absolutely no emotion towards you one way or the other. Complete apathy."

"That's not-"

"Let's take a closer look at you, little miss Grand Couturier. Do you remember when you found out that Ryuko Matoi was a Life Fiber Hybrid? When you told her that only you and her could understand each other? Perhaps you just wanted someone else to understand your pain. Your pain of being different. Of being a freak. An abomination. A lab rat. A sin. A mistake. Perhaps you just wanted a sister. A friend."

"Fine, maybe, but-"

"Soichiro Kiryuin wasn't involved in your life in the slightest. You were raised by Ragyo. She raped you, beat you, and manipulated you. You had, and still have, no friends. Ragyo was an aloof taskmaster, who only gave a shit about you when danger to you could mean danger to her. Everyone else was the enemy, or a pawn. You were raised to believe you were not human, but something greater. That the facilitation of the Life Fiber reproductive cycle was your sole purpose for existence. Basically, you were there as a...midwife, I suppose? Am I using that correctly? Anyway, you were raised to believe that your only value was in your abilities as a tailor. When you lost your arms, and completed the so-called 'Ultimate Kamui', well, you were done, weren't you? Finished. The end. You were suicidal, right? Oh, well. You had a good run. A whole 17 years, right?"

Nui said nothing, and turned away.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, did I hurt your feelings?" Houka asked sarcastically. "Oh, wait, that's right, you don't have feelings. People have feelings. And you're not a person. You're a weapon. A tool. A sex-toy. A crazy bitch's mad science experiment. And once you outlive your usefulness again, Ragyo's going to end your meaningless, pathetic, pitiful excuse for a life."

"Shut up!"

"Am I wrong, you little dyke? Does your life have meaning?"

"Yes! It does!"

"Okay, then. Name one thing that you have ever done that didn't backfire horribly. The most notable thing that you have ever done in your so-called life was kill Soichiro, and you even managed to fuck that up. You lost a fucking eye, and your little assassination kicked off a series of events that lead to you becoming even more of a goddamn cripple."

"Hey, wait a minute-"

"AND THAT WASN'T EVEN YOUR IDEA!" Houka shouted, before calming himself down. "It was her idea. You didn't know who he was. All you wanted was for mommy to be happy. For her to finally love you. But she didn't. Because you're a failure. A replacement for Ryuko. You weren't even supposed to exist! You're just a bad idea. Plan B. The personification of a madwoman's desperation, molded into the rough shape of a teenage girl! A stupid, sad, scared little girl, who pretends to be happy, who pretends not to be horrifically depressed so she can laugh at the fact that her so-called mother rapes her, and at the fact that nobody cares about her!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! SHE'S MY MOTHER, AND SHE LOVES ME, GODDAMMIT!" Nui screamed.

"Does she, now? Does she really love you? Then when was the last time that she told you that? I guess she does love you just a little bit, considering that you have the same last name."

Nui became silent.

Houka laughed again. "Oh, wait, that's right! YOU DON'T. And do you know why you don't have the same last name as her? Because you are not now, have never been, and never will be her daughter. You're just a puppet. Tangled in strings."

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"No, you won't. Goodbye, lab rat."

Houka entered the blue portal, which then disappeared.

Nui sat down, and stared at the wall in stunned silence.

She thought about what Houka had said.

She knew that it was all true.

And for one of the first times in her so-called pathetic excuse for a life, the Grand Couturier cried.


	3. In Which We Meet Our Heroes

Note: The following chapters are set before 1 and 2.

Ryuko Matoi woke up at about 6:00 AM. Today, she was going to officially join the Honno City Police Department as a detective. Admittedly, she suspected that being the commissioner's daughter had something to do with it, but she preferred to think otherwise. She spent about thirty minutes fixing her hair and picking out an outfit. "You gotta look good for your first day as a detective," she thought.

She hated being an officer. Everyone looked down on her. But this would be the day that some of them would see her as, at least, almost an equal.

She spent about an hour looking for her motorcycle keys. "Dammit, where are they?" she muttered. She finally found them around 7:30 AM, and ran like Hell to her black motorcycle.

She then drove as fast as she could to the station, and ran to the door that read "Commissioner Soichiro Matoi". Soichiro was a nice guy. Everyone called him "Isshin".

Ryuko opened the door, and stopped for a minute to catch her breath.

"Ryuko!" Her father cheerfully remarked. "You're late."

"Sorry, dad," she replied.

She then noticed the blue-haired man sitting in the chair next to her.

"Who's this jackass?"

"This 'jackass' is Detective Aikuro Mikisugi. He's your partner."

"Damn, Isshin! You never told me your kid was so damn good-looking!" Aikuro remarked.

"Barking up the wrong tree, jackass. You're not my type."

"Nice."

"Shut up. Anyway, dad, what's my-"

"What's _our_."

Ryuko sighed. "What's _our_ first case?"

"Well," the white-haired commissioner replied, "I'd like you two to stake out the animal shelter. The "Hellhound Killer", as the media calls him, has been dumping bodies there."

He handed them a folder. "Here's everything we got."

Ryuko opened the folder. "Five bodies so far. All female, all Japanese, different builds, different hair colors. Serial killers usually have a type. You sure it's not just some scare tactic by Kane? The shelter could've owed him some money. He's done shit like this before."

"We have to investigate every possibility. It could be the work of Gamagoori and his thugs, like you suspect, or it's Hellhound, if he even exists."

"Alright. Come on, jackass."

"Coming, rookie."

Ryuko and Aikuro walked out of the room. As they moved toward the front door, Ryuko noticed a brown-haired woman walk into the building.

"Hey, jackass, who's she?"

"That's Doctor Mako Mankanshoku. She's the new medical examiner."

"Damn. She has the nicest brown eyes I've ever seen."

"And she's got a nice pair on her."

"Well, yeah, that too. Come on, jackass, we got animal shelter employees to question."

They stepped outside.

"You take the car, I'll take my motorcycle," said Ryuko.

Aikuro got in a police car, and drove off. Ryuko followed on her motorcycle.

Neither one of them noticed the man with light blue hair and glasses watching them from across the street.


	4. The Stakeout

It was dark and creepy outside. But, that's what Detectives Ryuko Matoi and Aikuro Mikisugi expected when they decided to stakeout the Honno City Animal Shelter that night, waiting for the possibly non-existent "Hellhound Killer". He had already killed five women. They were both in Aikuro's police car.

"I still think it's Kane," remarked Ryuko. Ira Gamagoori, also called "Kane", was a dangerous man. He was responsible for most of the drugs, prostitution, and gang violence in Honno.

"Kane," said Aikuro. "What kind of name is that?"

"I think Gamagoori chose it himself. It's apparently a mix of 'cane toad', a type of poisonous, or venomous, or whatever the fuck toad that's considered an invasive species, and 'Cain', the first murderer from the Bible."

"But with a 'K'."

"Yeah, but with a 'K'."

Aikuro laughed derisively. "Kane. Why does everyone insist that criminals have ridiculous nicknames?"

"You think that's bad? What edgy teen came up with 'Hellhound'?"

Aikuro grew silent. "I did."

Ryuko looked at him strangely.

Aikuro spoke in a solemn voice. "When I saw the first body, I threw up. It was just...fuck. It was fucking horrible. She couldn't have been there for more than a night. She...she was in front of the building. Just sitting right there, for everyone to see. She looked like she was torn in half, her top half facing the left side of the building, and her bottom half facing the right. She had wounds all over her body. Scratch marks, and what looked like bite marks. Not human bite marks. These were different, looked more like a dog's. Chunks of her were bitten off. The media thought that a person could not have done this. What they thought had happened was that some dogs got loose from the shelter. Maybe they were rabid, or just starving. They assumed they ganged up on her, and then killed her. Looked just like a tragic case of animals getting loose from a place that didn't have the resources to take care of them."

He looked away. "That's when we found the other three bodies. They were behind the shelter. Wounds were exactly the same as the first one. I'll never forget the terror I saw in their eyes. These weren't like the first, they were buried. It was a snowy week, nobody was working except for a few employees who never went outside. Must've been buried one day after the other, and nobody noticed a damn thing. The media ran the story. 'Dog Attack Or Serial Killer?' was the title. When we took 'em to the ME, Mankanshoku, you know, the hot brunette, she told us that dogs didn't do this. The scratch marks? Knife marks. The bite marks? Human saliva in them. Fucker must've filed down his teeth or some shit. They were cut in half with a knife. They had bruises on their wrists and ankles. Son of a bitch handcuffed them to something. Tight. Based on the scars and partially-healed wounds, Mako estimated that they were each tortured for three hours at most. She said that's all she could find at the time. So, we had no DNA from the fucker, no witnesses, nothin'. I went home, and got a few hours of sleep. My phone woke me up. That was yesterday morning, day before you were promoted and ran into Isshin's office. Anyway, the phone rang. It was Isshin. He said, 'Aikuro, you gotta get down to the shelter right fucking now.' So, I...I got there and, uh..."

He became quiet again. "There was another body. My guess is that he saw the news, and he got pissed off. This girl...this girl was in _pieces_ , Ryuko. Completely dismembered. Looked like he fuckin' threw body parts all over the damn building. Blood was everywhere. Hair was ripped out, the signature knife and teeth marks were there, but...Jesus fuck. She was fucking _burnt_. Parts of her were _melted_. Mako came up with the theory that she was electrocuted in random places with some kind of powerful taser, then she had sulfuric acid thrown on her. And then that piece of shit, that sick fucking bastard, set her on fire. He dismembered her while she was burning to death. And then, just before she died, he carved something on her stomach with a knife. One word on each piece he cut up. When we put it together, it said, 'COULD DOGS DO THIS?' When the reporters were interviewin' me, I said, 'This wasn't a pack of dogs, it was something from Hell.' And that's where the name came from. Had to take meds to sleep that night."

Ryuko was horrified. "Fuckin' Christ. We don't got anything on this guy?"

"Not a damn thing."

"Jesus..."

"I'm goin' out for a smoke. You in?"

"No, I'm gonna get somethin' to eat, try'n take my mind off of this. You want anything?"

"Just get me whatever you get."

"Alright. 10 chicken nuggets, large fries, Diet Coke, and a grilled cheese from McDonald's."

"Alright."

Ryuko sped off on her motorcycle, and came back about thirty minutes later with two bags and two Diet Cokes.

They both got in the car, and ate.


	5. Let The Shipping Commence

"Well, damn. Fucker still hasn't shown up," remarked Aikuro.

"Yeah, this is fucking bullshit," said Ryuko.

"We're gonna be here for a while."

"Yeah."

"What do you wanna do?"

"I dunno."

"Anything you wanna talk about?"

"Not really."

Aikuro looked out the window, looking for anything suspicious.

"You know, rookie," he said, "I don't know a whole lot about you."

"Well, I'm 19. Not even old enough to drink, but I'm old enough to get shot."

Ryuko laughed.

"But it's not like anyone here gives a shit about the drinking age."

"So," Aikuro said, "what made you wanna be a cop?"

"I dunno. Guess I just wanted to be like my dad."

"How are you and Isshin?"

"We're good. Mom died when I was little, it was always just me and him."

"Seeing anyone special?"

"No. Not exactly a whole lotta lesbian bars around here. You think there's a lesbian Tinder?"

"Well," said Aikuro, "you know Mako, right?"

"Yeah?"

"I heard that she's bi. And single."

Ryuko high-fived Aikuro.

"Dude, you are a fucking lifesaver."

"Don't mention it. You know, she gave me her number."

"You're shittin' me."

"I'm serious. She gave it to me so I could tell her if we found any bodies."

"Cool."

"You're calling her."

"What?"

You're calling her right now."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not!" Ryuko repeated.

This exchange continued for some time.

"Fine, if you won't call, I'll her for you."

"Don't you fucking dare."

"I'm doing it."

"Aikuro, don't!"

"I'm doing it."

"Don't-"

"It's ringing."

"Well, I'm not answering it!"

"Okay, fine."

"Thank you."

"Hey, rookie."

"What?"

"Catch!"

Aikuro threw his cellphone at her."

"Dammit, Aikuro! I'm not-"

"Hello?" said Mako.

"Shit! Uh, hi, Mako. It's Ryuko...Ryuko Matoi."

"Oh, you're the commissioner's daughter, right?"

"Yeah."he said, angrily glaring at Aikuro.

"Aren't you Mikisugi's partner?"

"Uh, yeah, I am," she said, angrily glaring at Aikuro.

"Find any bodies?"

"Uh, no, listen, um..."

"What?"

"Well, um, I-"

"She wants to go out with you!" Aikuro said into phone.

"Dammit, Aikuro-"

"Really?"

"Uh...yeah, kinda."

"Sure."

"What?"

"I'll go out with you."

"Uh...okay, yeah, that, um, yeah, yeah, I'd like that, I would like that...I would like that very much."

"I'm free Friday."

"Uh, pick you up at 9:00?"

"It's a date."

"O-okay, cool."

"See you then."

"See-see you then."

Mako hung up.

"I knew she'd go out with you-"

"NEVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN."

"Okay."

An awkward silence fell over the car.

"So," said Ryuko, "See anything yet?"

"Not yet...wait!"

Aikuro opened the door.

"What is it?"

"I just saw something move!"

"What, holy shit!"

"Yeah, it's around the back!"

"Alright, go, I'll follow you!"

Aikuro ran to the back of the building, followed by Ryuko. They saw a blonde woman, lying face down.

"Miss? Miss, are you alright? Talk to me if you're alright!"

"Aikuro-"

"Miss!"

"Aikuro, she's gone!"

"Dammit!"

The woman had died seconds before Aikuro found her. There were long, deep cuts on her arms and legs. She died of blood loss.

"Aikuro..."

"What?"

"Look."

Aikuro stepped back and looked at her stomach. Carved into it was a message. "DETECTIVES RYUKO MATOI AND AIKURO MIKISUGI. I SEE YOU. CAN YOU SEE ME?"

The detectives looked around. Hellhound wasn't there.


	6. Cults And Other Drunken Fun

Doctor Houka Inumuta woke up, and immediately noticed that he was in his basement.

"Ugh...what in the Hell did I do last night?" he asked himself. He then looked down and saw a letter, which was addressed to him. He began to read it:

"Deer Sobr Me,

U got supr fuckin trached las niht n u thoht itd b funny if u started a suicide cult. Includin u theres like 26 or something people in it. They go by Prime-Whatever The Fuck n ur Prime-A its like a letter system or some shit lol. I wrote the name of our god on ur hand :) Theres a fuckload cyanide in the wine hahahahaahaha!

Wit Luv, Drunk U 3"

Doctor Inumuta looked down to see something unintelligible scribbled on his right hand. "This better not be permanent marker..."

A woman walked in. "Prime-A?" she asked.

"Uh...yes?"

"The ceremony is beginning soon."

"Oh..uh, of course, just...get started without me, I'll be in shortly."

"Of course."

She walked back in to the other room of rather large basement.

"Oh fuck, am I wearing a robe?" the doctor asked himself, before walking behind her. He stood in front of several robed people, including the woman.

"My loyal friends," he began, "including the lovely...uh, woman-"

"Prime-B, my Lord," the woman said.

"Right. Prime-B. Anyway, time to begin our..."

"Ascension?"

"Yes, thank you, Prime-B. That. Our ascension to meet, uh...the Primrdl Laff Fibber?" he said, attempting to read what was on his hand.

"The Primordial Life Fiber?"

"Yes, thank you again, Prime-B. Now, let us drink our wine, and we shall begin. You first."

The cultist drank the poison wine, which immediately killed them. Houka hoped they were prostitutes, like his other victims. People don't notice 24 prostitutes going missing. Except their pimps. Their angry, angry pimps. He reminded himself to talk with Kane later, before realizing something.

"Wait...24?"

A green-haired man walked downstairs.

"Oh, sorry I'm late, guys. I was in the bathroom, doing...stuff," he said, not even bothering to hide the needle sticking out of his left arm.

He looked down at the bodies. "Hey, uh, Prime-A, did I miss something?"

"Well, uh..."

"Prime-L."

"Prime-L, I must admit," Houka started, contemplating whether or not he'd have to kill him, "I haven't been entirely truthful."

"About what?"

"Everything, really. There is no Primordial Life Fiber. There is no 'ascension'. I just convinced 24 prostitutes, they were prostitutes, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Girls are whores, guys are homeless."

"Okay, good, anyway, I just convinced them to kill themselves for my amusement."

Prime-L paused, before starting to laugh.

"Holy shit! That's fuckin' hilarious!"

"I'm...sorry, what?"

"It's hilarious! You just convinced these stupid fucking retards to kill themselves! I mean, I only joined 'cause you said there'd be free booze, but these fucktards joined of their own free will!"

Houka smiled. "What's your name, my good man?"

"Uzu Sanageyama."

"Uzu, I believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship. Now," he said, passing Uzu a butcher knife that was lying on the floor, "let's cut up some bodies."

"Sure thing, man."

And as they dismembered 24 corpses, Houka thought to himself that he had finally found someone he could see as an equal in his depravity. And he was right.


	7. In Which We Meet Someone Else Entirely

"THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER, THUNDER!  
I WAS CAUGHT!  
IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAILROAD TRACK!"

The pink-haired girl opened her eyes. "Son of a bitch!" she exclaimed.

"I LOOKED 'ROUND!  
AND I KNEW THERE WAS NO TURNING BA-"

She turned off her alarm clock. "Why the fuck did I choose the loudest song known to man as my fucking alarm?"

There was a knock at the door.

She sighed. "Guess it's time for the rent. Okay, just lemme get dressed!" she called out.

As she got dressed, there was another knock. "Call off your boys, Takarada! I got your money!" she said, as she picked up a baseball bat.

She opened the door to find a green-haired man standing in the hallway. "...You're not Takarada."

"No, I am not. You're the girl the media's been talkin' 'bout, right? The Serpent Thief?"

"Who wants to know?"

The man laughed. "My name's Uzu Sanageyama."

"I've heard of you. You're that psycho who robs people for drug money, and then kills 'em for the Hell of it."

"That I am."

"Look, if you wanna rob me, I was lyin' about the money."

Uzu looked around the apartment. "What a fuckin' piece of shit."

"Yeah, I know."

"You break into the houses of rich assholes, and then you steal fuckloads of money, right?"

"Yeah. Half the time, they got so much money, they don't even notice anything's gone. So what?"

"Well, if you have all this money, why do you live in an apartment building?"

"I use it to pay the rent. Takarada owns half the damn city, and this was the cheapest place I could afford."

"Fuck. Smart guy. It sounds just like that game, you know, Monopoly? Where you get four houses, and then you stick a hotel on there, and then you raise the rent-"

"What do you want, Uzu?"

"Well, my friend and me wanna rob Kiryuin Manor-"

"Wait. Kiryuin Manor? Councilwoman Ragyo Kiryuin's place?"

"Yes, now stop interrupting me. Think about it. If we rob Kiryuin, we'll be set for life. You can move outta this shithole. All we need is for you to break in, and then we'll go our separate ways."

"Alright, I'll do it. But we're not killin' anyone."

"Fine, if you wanna take all the fun out of it. We're doin' it tonight. I'll pick you up at 8:00. It was a pleasure doin' business with you, Miss...?"

"Nonon Jakuzure."

"Right, I knew it was somethin' stupid. See you later."

Uzu walked out of the building, and called Houka on his cellphone.

"Yo, Doc. Serpent's in. We pull this off, we're gonna have enough money for your plan."

"Excellent. How did she feel about the killing?"

"Wasn't a fan."

"Shame. You know what to do if she interferes, right?"

"Of course."

"Good man. See you soon."

Uzu got into his car, and drove off.


	8. The Robbery (And More Shipping)

Uzu was waiting inside his car outside Kiryuin Manor. "Goddammit, where the fuck is Nonon?" he impatiently asked himself. "Shut the fuck up! She didn't take the money and run, and I'm not backing out on this, so keep your goddamn mouths shut!" he screamed at thin air.

There was a knock on the car window. It was Nonon. "Alright, I disabled the alarms and cameras," she said. "Let's do this shit."

"About damn time," Uzu muttered as he got out of the car.

They went up to the front door. Uzu drank out of a flask while Nonon picked the lock. They went inside after the door finally opened.

"Alright," Uzu said, "Kiryuin doesn't trust banks, so she has a huge fuckin' vault 'round here somewhere."

"Don't see why she would," said Nonon, "Takarada owns half of 'em, and Kane owns the other half."

"Vault's probably upstairs. You sneak up there, and I'll-"

"Hello."

They turned around to see a dark-haired woman standing behind them.

"Uh...hi," said Nonon.

"Let me guess. You're here to rob us?"

"Uh, that would, um...yeah. We're robbin' you."

"You realize I'm going to have to beat the shit out of you, right?"

"I do-"

The woman fell down. Nonon looked up to see Uzu standing behind her, having pushed her. He got some rope out of his pocket. "Help me tie the bitch up!" he said.

Nonon tied her up. "Okay," she said, giving Uzu some rope she brought in case something like this happened. "We've probably just woken everyone up, so you tie them up and bring 'em down here. You know, I would've let her beat me up."

Uzu gave her a weird look.

"Hey, don't judge me," said Nonon, defensively. "What're you, blind? Look at her. That is a fucking 20 out of 10 right there. Now go tie the fuckers up."

About 15 minutes later, he dragged two tied-up people down the stairs. "Good thing I'm high and drunk as fuck, or these bitches would be really heavy," he remarked.

"Alright," he said, "if the Doc was right, this is Mitsuzo Soroi, the butler." He pointed to an elderly man. "And that's Councilwoman Ragyo Kiryuin." He pointed to a woman with gray and rainbow-colored hair. "And, finally, the bitch who wanted to knock us the fuck out, Satsuki Kiryuin." He pointed to the dark-haired woman. "Nonon, you get the money, whilst I ever so merrily cut their goddamn throats."

"Sure- wait, what?!" Nonon asked.

"I'm gonna kill the fuckers."

"No, you won't," said Satsuki.

"Oh? And why's that?" asked Uzu.

"You don't have the balls."

Uzu laughed. "That's hilarious! You die first."

"Uzu, what the fuck?!" asked Nonon. "I thought you agreed we weren't gonna kill them!"

"Yeah, I lied. See, I'm a criminal. And a liar. And I hurt people. And I rob them. It's kinda my whole thing, besides the drugs and the booze. And it's a lot of fun."

"I'm not gonna let you hurt them."

"Oh, I know you won't. See, I just needed you to disable the security system."

"Which means I wasn't supposed to leave here alive."

"Bingo!" he replied, pulling a switchblade out of his pocket. "I'm gonna love this!

"Bring it on, cocksucker!"

Uzu lunged towards Nonon several times, each time missing and screaming incoherently, until he cornered her in the dining room. "There's nowhere to run, you fucking midget cunt!"

Nonon responded by kicking Uzu directly between the legs, causing him to fall backwards and hit his head on a wall. Nonon used the last of her rope to tie him up, before picking up the phone on the nearby table. "Hello, 911? I'd like to report a breaking and entering at Kiryuin Manor."

After finishing her call a few minutes later, Nonon opened a window and escaped.

A while later, the door opened. "HCPD!" shouted Ryuko.

"He's over there," said Satsuki.

After untying everyone, Ryuko arrested Uzu and put him in an ambulance, to be taken to a hospital so he could be cleared before he could be brought in for questioning at the station.

"Hey," she said to Satsuki. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," she replied. "Satsuki Kiryuin," she said, introducing herself while shaking Ryuko's hand.

"Ryuko Matoi," she replied.

"You know, I think my mom said she was with a guy named Matoi before I was born. Any relation?"

"Maybe. What's his first name?"

"Soichiro, or something like that."

"That's...that's my dad. When did she leave him?"

"About...nine months before I was born," Satsuki replied, coming to the same realization as Ryuko.

"You think...?"

"Possibly. You could talk to your dad, I suppose. My mother isn't exactly a...talkative person."

"Yeah, I'll...I'll go talk to him."

The police officers left the house, and drove off.


	9. Houka And Uzu: Evil BFFs

Ryuko walked into the station. The first thing she did was see if Mako had anything new to say about the bodies.

"Well," said Mako, "there is something new."

"What is it?" asked Ryuko.

"I found out why I couldn't get any DNA from the saliva in the wounds. Turns out it's been mixed with some kind of acid. Nearly impossible to get anything from it."

"Damn."

"I know, it sucks ass. By the way, I loved dinner last night."

"I loved dinner, too. And breakfast."

Mako laughed.

"I'll tell you if I got anything new. See you tonight?"

"It's a date."

Ryuko went outside and took out her phone.

"Hey, Satsuki. DNA test came back. We're sisters."

"That's great!"

"Yeah. I talked to dad. He said that mom was a drug addict, and he tried to get her into rehab, but she refused. Said she could kick the stuff on her own."

"That sounds like my mother. She doesn't want anyone doing anything for her unless she pays them. Self-made women are like that."

"Apparently, she just...left. Wife of a cop, she knew how to hide. Dad thought I'd be better off if I didn't know mom chose drugs over me."

"At least she eventually got clean."

"Yeah, I guess. I'd prefer if this was face-to-face, but I got work."

"It's alright, I understand."

"See you later."

"Goodbye."

Ryuko hung up and went back into the station. Aikuro ran up to her.

"Rookie, you gotta see this! Someone bailed out Sanageyama!"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, come on!"

They walked over to see Houka and Uzu walking towards the doorway.

"Hey, you the guy that's bailin' this fucker out?" said Ryuko.

"Yes, I am," replied Houka. "My name is Doctor Houka Inumuta. I'm a psychiatrist. Uzu is one of many people that come to me to seek help. He suffers from schizophrenia, and cannot be held accountable for his actions. I'm taking him somewhere where he can be given proper treatment."

The two men went outside.

"That was a great excuse, Doc!" said Uzu, "I can't believe they bought that shit!"

"Actually, you do have schizophrenia. I've been noticing the signs since we met, but I never got a chance to bring it up."

"Shit. Well, now what?"

"Now, we go talk to Kane. We're letting him in on the plan. We need a lot of people involved in this, and while I'm good at attracting whores and the homeless, Kane has hired guns."

They got in their car and drove off.


	10. SMH TBH Fam

Houka and Uzu drove up to a large building. It had a neon sign reading, "SCOURGE". They walked in through the front door. "This is the place," said Uzu. The inside smelled like cheap alcohol and sex.

"Alright," said Houka, "I suppose that we should ask around and see if Mister Gamagoori is here-"

"HEY, KANE! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE, YOU FUCKIN' HALF-BREED!" shouted Uzu.

A blonde, dark-skinned man wearing a blood-stained tuxedo with the sleeves ripped off walked out of a room in the back of the building.

"The fuck you just say to me, bitch?" he asked Uzu.

"Hello. Mister Ira Gamagoori, I presume? We-" said Houka, before he was cut off.

"I ain't talkin' to you, Glasses. I'm talkin' to this little Nazi prick, and I wanna know why the fuck he thinks that he can walk in to my club and say that shit to me."

Houka gave Uzu an exasperated look.

"Nazi," he said.

"Yeah, Nazi, KKK, and Satanist."

"KKK."

"That is correct."

"Even though you're fucking _Japanese._ "

"Whites and Japanese have been racism buddies since World War II!" Uzu proudly declared.

"Do you _want_ everyone to hate you?"

"Let them hate me, so long as they fear me. The Nazis, the KKK, and Satanists are feared by everyone. Figured people should fear me, too-"

"Are you gonna fuckin' tell me why you're here or not?" Ira interjected.

"Well," said Houka, "we -"

"Wait a fuckin' minute. Some of my girls have talkin' 'bout someone that looks just like you hangin' 'round here."

"Uh, I'm sure I don't-"

"And every time you come here, a girl ends up dead! You're that Hellhound nigga that the news've been talkin' 'bout!" Ira shouted, before taking a handgun out of his pocket.

Houka grew silent. "And what if I am?"

"You killed 19 of my girls! You have any idea how bad that is for business?!"

"Oh, who gives a fuck? They were whores. A new kid runs away from home every day, a new single mother loses her job every day, there are a lot of potential whores are out there!"

"Yeah, but-"

"I AM SPEAKING! I am the fucking Hellhound Killer, and you WILL show me some goddamn respect, before I cut your worthless throat!"

Ira put away his gun. "You got balls. I like that. Keep talkin'."

"What if I pay you for the whores from now on? 5000 yen?"

"Aight. So, what're you here for?"

"My friend and I have an idea that will make the three of us very rich men. We'll have money, power, anything we want."

Houka pulled a file out of his pocket, and gave it to Ira. Ira opened the file.

"This is some pretty dangerous shit. The cops catch us, we're all fucked."

"Oh, don't worry. The police don't have anything on me."

"Aight, I'm in."

"Good. I'll inform you when I've set everything up."

Houka and Uzu walked out of the building.

"Uzu," said Houka, "the next time you call a large, angry half-Black man a 'half-breed'...don't. You almost got us killed."

"Fine, whatever. Now what?"

"Now, we are going to see a friend of mine."

As the two drove off, they didn't notice the pink-haired woman across the street, staring at the building.


	11. Totally Not A Punisher Ripoff

Houka's psychiatric building was named "Probe". It was just above his house, which was just above his basement, where Uzu was still dismembering 24 dead bodies. Probe was where Houka's patients came in order to seek diagnosis and treatment. As Houka was sitting in his office, wondering if there was a specific word for someone who dismembers people, a large man came through the door. He was wearing all black; black shirt, black pants, and black shoes. He had short, black hair and a red mohawk.

"Hello," said Houka. "You must be Mister Kinagase."

"Yeah, Tsumugu Kinagase."

"Please sit down on the couch."

Tsumugu sat on the couch.

"Now, according to your file, you've been having nightmares, correct?"

"Doc, there're two things you need to know: I don't sleep at night, and I don't sleep at night 'cause I keep seein' fucked up shit when I do sleep. I sleep durin' the day. Not so bad during the day."

"And what, exactly, do you see when you sleep?"

"Shit that I've done."

That interested Houka.

"And what, exactly, is it that you have done?"

"Doc, I'm gonna be honest wit' you. The shit that I've done ain't exactly legal."

"Oh, there is no need to worry about that. I shall tell the police nothing. This is strictly between you and I."

"Alright. Well, it started in 2004. Me, my sister, Kinue, and her fiance, Aikuro, decided to go to the park. Figured we'd have a nice little picnic to celebrate their engagement. There was somethin' we didn't know. We didn't know that a local gang leader was livin' in a house next to the park. See, this guy, he wasn't exactly a friend of the other gang leaders. So, while we were havin' our picnic, one of the other gangs shot at the house. Right through my lungs. Right through Aikuro's shoulder. Right through my sister's stomach. She took most of the bullets. Killed her almost instantly. After I got outta the hospital, I didn't know what to do wit' my life. Aikuro figured he'd fight crime. Became a cop. I don't like cops. They don't work. The justice system don't work. They just put the fuckers in jail, and then they wait a couple years, and then they let 'em out, and then they commit more crimes, and then they put 'em back in, and they let 'em back out, and it just fuckin' goes on like that 'til the fuckers die. So, I was sittin' on my couch, with my shotgun in my hands, ready to blow my brains out, when the news came on TV. Kiryuin's kids got abducted."

"Councilwoman Ragyo Kiryuin?"

"Yeah. See, a while before that happened, she was an addict. Bought some drugs offa Gamagoori. She was his biggest buyer. After she got clean, Gamagoori started to go broke. So, the fucker sent his gang to take her kids. Said he'd kill 'em if she didn't pay him 1000000000 yen."

Houka remembered that Ira's father was in the same "business" as his son was. He would be so proud of him, if anyone knew where he was. Apparently, he had moved back to America when Ira was a child.

"I see. What happened after you saw the news?"

"I got pissed. Fuckers even tracked down her ex and took the kid that was livin' wit' him. I'd feel like shit if somethin' like that happened to Kinue. If she was still alive. I'd blame myself for it. The fuckers were hidin'. Cops had no leads, other than the fact that they knew Gamagoori's boys did it. Gamagoori's gang was the same one that killed my sister. I knew what he was like. He didn't care if innocents got killed. He never held up his end of the deal. Those kids were gonna die. So, I put on a black trenchcoat, took my shotgun, and drove 'round town to look for some prostitutes. If anyone knew where the fuckers were, it'd be Gamagoori's hookers. Eventually, I scared one into tellin' me where they were. They were in an old building. I think it's called SCOURGE or somethin' now. Told me the fuckers did shit like this all the time to get girls to work for 'em. She told me they didn't just kill the kids. They raped 'em. I went to the building. There were 5 guys. Shot one of 'em in the head. Shot another's arms off. He bled out. Shot another one in the heart. One of 'em pulled a knife on me. Shot his hand off and slit his throat wit' it. Shot off all the arms and legs of the last guy. He bled out, too. I found the girls behind a crate of heroin in the corner. They were tied up and gagged. The younger one, the black-haired one, she was covering her eyes. She heard everything. The older one, the one wit' red and black hair, she watched everything. They were fine, physically. Hadn't been raped yet. Then I heard somethin' comin' from the back room. 5 more guys, and a boy. He was the youngest of the three. Black hair, covered by a blonde wig. Sick fuckers put a pink dress on him, too. I shot all 5 of 'em in the head. He was seconds away from bein' raped. This kid..."

"What is it?"

"This kid...look, when kids are scared, they're supposed to cry, right? This kid was quiet. I mean, he was completely silent. Didn't make a sound. Just stared. The oldest kid had to be 6, at most. They wouldn't remember it. At least, the older two wouldn't. Too young. But...even though the boy was the youngest, he just had this...this look, y'know? This blank, horrible look in his eyes. Last time I saw that look, Aikuro was starin' at Kinue's dead body. He was the closest to bein' raped and killed. When I took 'em outta the building, the kid...he looked back. He looked back at all the blood, at all the death. And he smiled. I had a feelin' I'd see him again when he got older. Haven't yet, but there's always time. Sometimes, I wanna get my hands on God, and ask him why he allows shit like this to happen. And that's what I've been doin' since then. Killin' fuckers who deserve it."

"Well, that should be enough for today, Mister Kinagase. Come in tomorrow, and we'll discuss more of your experiences. I hope we can find a solution to your problem."

Tsumugu stood up, and left.


	12. In Which We Meet Mako's Family

"California, rest in peace!

Simultaneous release!

California, show your teeth!

She's my priestess, I'm your priest-"

Ryuko heard a knock at the door of her house. She turned off the music playing on her laptop, and went to answer it. She was greeted by Mako hugging her.

"Happy birthday, Ryuko!"

Ryuko laughed. "Thanks, Mako."

"So, what do you wanna do for your birthday? Now that you're 20, we can go get a drink. Well, you can buy us some drinks, I'm still 19."

"Not like anyone here cares about the drinking age, anyway."

"Wait, I got a better idea! You can meet my family!"

"I'd love that."

They got in Mako's car, and drove to a white house in a suburban part of Honno. Mako opened the door, and the two went in the house. Inside was a brown-haired woman, a brown-haired teenage boy, and a pug.

"Ryuko, this is my mom, my brother, Mataro, and my pug, Guts. Everyone, this is Ryuko, my girlfriend."

"Hello, Ryuko," said Mako's mother. Mataro simply gave Ryuko a brief, acknowledging glance.

"Hi, Miss Mankanshoku."

"Please, call me Sukuyo."

"Sure. Is there a Mister Mankanshoku?"

"Actually, my husband, Barazo, died while I was pregnant with Mataro. He was a sea captain, he went down with his ship."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's alright. You should stay for dinner, I'm making croquettes."

"Sure."

"Hey, mom," said Mako, "I'm gonna show Ryuko around the neighborhood. We'll be back soon."

The two walked out of the house.

"Nice family, Mako."

"Thanks. They really like you."

"So, what's the neighborhood like?"

"It's nice. Doctor Takaza lives across the street. He's a nice guy, helps us out sometimes. Not much goes on around here."

"Wanna go see a movie?"

"I'd love that."

A few hours later, after the movie ended, they drove back to Mako's house. Mataro ran out of the house. He looked like he saw something terrible.

"Mataro? What's wrong?" asked Mako.

"Mako, I-I went out for a little while, an-and when I came back, Mom..."

"What? Mataro, what happened?"

"Mako...," Mataro said in a somber tone, "she's dead."

"What do you mean, she's dead?!"

"Well, she was lying on the floor, and she wasn't moving. I looked at her, and she had blood coming out of her throat."

"Jesus...I-I need to sit down."

"I'll call Aikuro," said Ryuko.

Aikuro and several officers arrived shortly after.

"Mako," he said, "I am so sorry about what happened."

"It's alright, Aikuro," she said.

Aikuro turned to Ryuko. "What did Mako's brother say?"

Ryuko told him what Mataro told her and Mako.

"Christ. Poor kid, havin' to see his mother like that."

"Yeah, he's only 16," said Ryuko.

Ryuko and Aikuro went into the house.

"Single stab wound on her throat," said Aikuro, examining the body.

"Can't find the murder weapon. Probably a knife, from the size of the wound."

Aikuro looked out the window. "Fuckin' people gathering 'round the crime scene. I'll drive 'em off, you go talk to Mako and the kid."

After Aikuro had dispersed the crowd, he examined the door. "No sign of forced entry. She probably knew the fucker who did this."

"I talked to Mako," said Ryuko, "She said that her mother didn't have any enemies, no criminal record, nothing. Can't figure out a motive."

"Excuse me," said an unfamiliar voice.

Ryuko and Aikuro looked at the doorway. Standing there was a fat, brown-haired man wearing gloves. "I'm Doctor Yamato Takaza, I knew Miss Mankanshoku. I came to see what happened, and I found a knife behind the house."

Doctor Takaza gave Ryuko a blood-covered knife in a plastic bag. She examined it. "Looks like there's a pentagram carved into it."

She turned to Aikuro. "You know," she said, "there is a local Satanist group, the Hellfire Club. I think Sanageyama's a member."

"You think he was involved in this?" asked Aikuro.

"I dunno, but it's the only lead we got. Thanks for the help, Doctor."

"It was my pleasure, Detective."

"Holy fuck!" yelled Aikuro, "Ryuko, you gotta fuckin' see this shit!"

The news was on TV. The news helicopter was above the middle of Honno City. Directly below the copter, a large, black mass was on the ground. Upon closer inspection, the mass was revealed to be 24 burning corpses, dismembered and stitched together into an unholy, burning mountain. Standing directly in front of it was Uzu, carrying a semi-automatic assault rifle, and firing at anything that moved.


	13. Wild N' Ira

Nonon had just broken into SCOURGE, where she stole quite a bit of money. She found it in Ira's office, in a vault. She also found CDs of DMX and NWA, and various HP Lovecraft novels. She was about to leave, when she saw Ira standing in the doorway, wit a gun pointed at her.

"Uh. Hi," she said, well aware that she was likely going to die.

"Put the fuckin' money back, bitch."

"Oh, uh, sure, I was just-"

"Shut the fuck up. I know you was tryin' to rob my ass."

"Well, uh, maybe, but-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP. Y'know, I really fuckin' hate shit like this. Retarded-ass cunts tryin' to take my shit. See, my dad, he was like me. My mom was one of his bitches. And when he went back to America, she OD'd. So, I spent the rest of my childhood in a fuckin' group home. Lil' punk-ass niggas beat the shit outta me, insulted me for bein' half-Black, but I didn't give a fuck. I could deal wit' that shit. But the one thing, the one motherfuckin' thing that pissed me off the most is when a punk-ass nigga stole my shit. When I got older, I took over what was left of my dad's gang. I got a nice place, maybe pretended to be more cultured than I really am. And then you brought your sorry ass in here. See, if you just shot me, I'd be cool wit' that. If you stabbed me, I wouldn't give a fuck. But this shit? This shit right here? Fuckin'. Group. Home."

"So, w-what are you gonna do with me?"

"Well, Hellhound killed 19 of my girls, so I'm kinda short on bitches. So, I'll make a wit' you. You be my new bitch, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll kill you, and your whole fuckin' family. Deal?"

"D...deal," Nonon said, reluctantly.

"Now, we should probably get you a new outfit-"

Ira was cut off by screaming coming from outside.

"The fuck?" he said.

Ira looked out the window.

"Oh, shit, nigga!" he said, laughing, "That crazy Nazi motherfucker's shootin' up the whole goddamn street!"

Ira's phone rang.

"Yo."

"Hello, Kane."

"Hey, yo, Helhound! What's up, my nigga?"

"Have you looked outside?"

"Yeah, man, I seen that shit! The fuck's that nigga doin'?"

"Drawing attention to himself. And drawing attention away from me. Uzu is going to be inevitably arrested, and then he'll confess to being Hellhound."

"You are one smart motherfucker, y'know that?"

"I'm well aware of my intelligence. After all, why would the police look for someone already in custody?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, man. So, what we gon' do after that?"

"We're going to move on to the next phase of our plan. Doctor Iori's already on board. Honno City shall kneel before us."


	14. Totally Not A Gotham Ripoff

Ryuko walked into the ME's office, where Mako was examining the knife that was used to kill her mother.

"Hey, Mako."

"Oh, hi, Ryuko."

"You all right?"

"I'm fine. I heard you arrested Sanageyama."

"Yeah, fucker's in the interrogation room. He confessed to being Hellhound."

"Really? That's great."

"Yeah. He admitted to all the murders, including the bodies that he stitched together. That's 30 fuckin' murders."

"Jesus."

"Yeah, but some doctors came and looked at him. He really is schizophrenic, like Doctor Inumuta said. So, we can't know if anything he says is the truth. And even if he did kill them, he won't get the death penalty, he'll just be sent to Honnouji's psych ward."

"Damn. Did he say anything about my mom?"

"No. Said he didn't know anything about it. You find any fingerprints yet?"

"No," Mako replied, sadly.

"I'm sure you'll find something."

"Thanks, Ryuko."

"By the way, how's your brother?"

"He's fine. Mom and Doctor Takaza were always there for him. He had a bit of a rough childhood, y'know, shoplifting, petty theft, that kind of thing, but they helped him through all of it. I think we even got his prints on file here-"

Mako suddenly became quiet.

"What is it?"

"I think I found something. I-I found a fingerprint!"

"Holy shit, that's great!"

"Yeah, I'm looking in the database for a match now-"

She became quiet again.

"What's wrong?"

"N-no, that's..."

"Mako, what is it?"

Ryuko looked at the computer screen, and saw what made Mako stop talking.

"J-Jesus Christ, I think I'm gonna fucking pass out," said Mako.

A few hours later, they were both in the interrogation room. Uzu had been sent to Honnouji Penitentiary's psych ward, waiting for his trial. Doctor Takaza came in.

"Good evening, Doctor Takaza," said Ryuko, "Sorry to bring you down here so late."

"Good evening, Detective Matoi, Mako."

"You remember the knife you found?"

"Yes."

"You know what that knife means, Doctor Takaza?"

"Tell me."

"It means you're an accessory to murder."

"Such drama."

"You wanted us to think Satanists were responsible for Sukuyo's death. You're protecting somebody."

"I found a knife. That's all."

"You know, you saying that you just so happened to 'find' a knife covered in Satanist symbols is a clumsy ploy. You wouldn't try it unless you were desperate. Which suggest you're protecting someone close. Someone you love."

"This fantasia was conjured in your blinkered mind."

The door opened. Mataro stepped in.

"Hi, Mataro," said Ryuko, "Please, take a seat. You know Doctor Takaza, from the neighborhood."

"Yes, Ryuko. Hello, Doctor Takaza."

"Good evening, Mataro," said Doctor Takaza.

"Do you know why you're here?"

"Did you find out who killed my mother?"

"You killed your mother, Mataro."

"Me?"

"You killed her in your house, and Doctor Takaza let you clean up at his place. He told you to scratch the Satanist stuff on the knife and leave the rest to him. We found your fingerprint on the murder weapon."

"Ryuko, that's...absurd, and...and offensive."

"But it's the truth. What I don't know is why this man risked so much to help you. I think he's you and Mako's father."

"You don't know what you're talking about. My father was a sea captain."

"Am I wrong, Doctor Takaza?"

"Yes."

"He was a sea captain. His name was Barazo Mankanshoku. He died at sea."

"What was the name of his ship?"

"He worked on a lot of different ships."

"The one he went down in."

"...She never said."

"We can do a blood test to prove I'm right. It takes only half an hour to get a foolproof result. Isn't that right, Doctor Mankanshoku?"

"Yes," said Mako, in a somber tone.

"Save yourself a needle."

The room became quiet. Then, Doctor Takaza spoke.

"I do hate needles. I'm sorry, Mataro."

"What're you talking about?"

"She's right. My name is Barazo Mankanshoku. I am your father."

"No, you're not. Why would you say that?"

"You must have suspected the truth."

"You're not my father. My mother would never..."

"Your mother was a cruel woman. She was often unkind to me, but she did love me once, in her way. And she loved you and Mako very much. That's why she gave you a better father."

Mataro started to cry. He cried for a few minutes. And then he stopped. And he started to laugh a little bit. And then louder. And louder. And louder, until the maniacal laughter was nearly deafening. He then became quiet, and slowly turned to his father.

"My mother," he said in a dark, sickening voice, "was a cold-hearted whore who never loved anyone. And she'd never touch a pathetic old creep like you."

"All these years, do you think I was kind to because I'm such a good man? If I wasn't your father, would I help you as I have, after what you did?"

"My father...hm. I'll be damned. Oh, that's very funny." Mataro started to laugh again. "Ba-tum-tsh!," he said, mimicking a drummer, "Looks like the bitch got me with a zinger in the end."

"Why did you kill your mother, Mataro?"

"Oh, you know how mothers are," he said in a casual tone, "She just. Kept. Pushing. And I'm like, fine, mom. Be a whore. Be a drunken whore, even. But don't be a nagging. Drunken. Whore. Y'know? Don't come yell at me to do the dishes if you've been FUCKING a guy in the NEXT ROOM!," he screamed, banging his fist on the table. "Y'know?" He said in a calm voice, before descending into hysterical laughter once again.

A few hours later, Mataro had been taken to Honnouji's juvenile detention area. Mako and Ryuko were in Ryuko's house.

"Look, Mako, if you need to talk, I'm right here."

"No, I'm fine-"

"No, you're NOT fine! You keep acting like everything's great when your brother killed your mom and your father helped cover it up!"

"Well, what do you want me to say?!"

"I want you to tell me how you really feel! I have seen too many people consumed by grief because they never fucking deal with it! Just tell me!"

"I'M FUCKING PISSED, ALRIGHT?! MY LITTLE BROTHER'S A FUCKING SOCIOPATH, MY MOM'S DEAD, AND MY DAD, WHO I NEVER KNEW WAS MY DAD, FUCKING HELPED THE PSYCHOTIC PIECE OF SHIT! I JUST..." Mako started to cry. "I just don't know what I'm gonna do now. My mom was everything to me, Ryuko. And I can't even go to my own house anymore without feeling sick. I...I have nowhere to go. I have nobody-"

She was interrupted by Ryuko hugging her. "It's okay, Mako. It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. You have me."

"Ryuko," said Mako, still crying a little bit, "I wanna move in with you."

"I'd love that."

"I love you, Ryuko."

"I love you, too, Mako."

Ryuko made some popcorn, and she and Mako watched a movie in her bed. They fell asleep in each other's arms.


	15. Totally Not A Criminal Minds Ripoff

Ryuko walked into her dad's office. Isshin and Aikuro were waiting for her.

"Ryuko!" Isshin cheerily remarked, "You're late. Again."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, you wanted to see me-"

"See _us,"_ said Aikuro.

"See _us_ about something?"

"Yes, I do."

Isshin handed them a folder. "Last night, at the Kiryuin Hotel, the body of a Japanese male in his early twenties was discovered. He was stabbed in the heart. We believe the murder weapon was a pair of scissors. This is the second body discovered in 3 days. The first victim was also a Japanese male in his early twenties, also stabbed in the heart with a pair of scissors."

"Kiryuin Hotel...mom owns that, right?"

"Yes, she does. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you, how is Satsuki?"

"Oh, she's fine."

"That's very good to hear."

Ryuko walked out of the room. "Come on, jackass."

"Coming, rookie."

"Also, Ryuko," said Isshin.

Ryuko turned around. "What is it?"

"I've brought in a consultant on the case. I believe he could be a great assistance to us on our current investigation, and possibly future investigations. Ryuko, Aikuro, I'd like you both to meet-"

"Doctor Houka Inumuta," said a familiar voice.

The two detectives turned around to see Houka standing behind them. "We've met before. Sorry I'm late. Detective Matoi, Commissioner Matoi, Detective Mikisugi, I must apologize. If I hadn't bailed out Mister Sanageyama, then perhaps those poor people would still be-"

"It's fine, Doctor," said Ryuko, "You didn't know."

"I visited Honnouji Penitentiary yesterday. I talked to Uzu about his motive for killing all those people. He mentioned the voices he was hearing. But the interesting thing is that the voices were not telling him to murder, rather, they were telling him not to murder. Although legally, he cannot be held responsible for his actions, as he is mentally ill, he committed the murders simply because he wanted to, not out of any delusion. I'm working on a theory that the 'voices' were actually his repressed conscience. I've also interviewed Mataro Mankanshoku, I believe you know him."

"Yeah, he's my girlfriend's little brother."

"He stated that he would definitely kill again if he were ever released. Specifically, he mentioned you, his sister, and his father, who I believe is currently free."

"Yeah, he made a deal. Said he'd testify against the little fucker in exchange for not going to prison."

"Anyway, may I take a look at that folder?"

Ryuko gave him the folder.

"Interesting. The victims were the same race, same gender, and the same age. I believe that our unsub works at the hotel, as it would give them access to potential victims. Both victims were discovered by hotel staff, the last after online checkout indicated the room had been vacated. They wanted the bodies to be discovered. Also, look at the way the victims are posed. They're naked, cowering in the fetal position. They're sending a message, something about this is important to them. We just need to figure out what. It appears that they were possibly overpowered, and then stabbed. Either a very strong woman, or our unsub is a male. And I don't think there are many female athletes in Honno."

"So," said Ryuko, "our unsub or victims could be gay?"

"Perhaps. We should ask the victim's families."

The three of them got into their vehicles and drove to the hotel. When they went in the building, where they were greeted by a Black, purple-haired woman wearing a white suit.

"You must be the HCPD."

"Ryuko Matoi. This is Detective Mikisugi and Doctor Inumuta."

"Rei Hououmaru. I'm the manager."

"You were here when the last body was discovered?"

"That's right."

"Did you notice anything out of the ordinary?"

"I'm afraid not. You see so many faces around here, they all start to blur."

"We need to set up interviews with the rest of your staff, and we also need to talk to the guests."

"Of course."

"How many cameras do you got on the property?"

"Not enough. We have all the main entrances and the garage covered, but the hallways and service tunnels aren't equipped."

"Can you show us the room where the last body was found?"

"Sure, I'll also start rounding up the rest of the staff for you to talk to."

"Thanks."

They followed Rei to a hotel room. She then left to look for the staff.

"No signs of struggle reported," said Ryuko, "Everything seemed normal when housekeeping arrived."

"Hey, look at this," said Aikuro, "Scratch marks on the footboard. The victims were bound before they were attacked."

"Well, that would make sense. Both of them were in pretty good shape. Probably needed to tie 'em up first. I could probably make a bondage joke right now, but I can't think of any good ones."

"Yeah, but was it consensual or not?"

"Excuse me," said Rei, walking into the room, "The victim's families are here to pick up the bodies."

"I'll go interview them," said Ryuko. The two girls walked out of the room.

"Okay," said Aikuro, "if this wasn't consensual, how does this work?"

"You'd need a weapon," said Houka.

"Right, the scissors. Why not a gun?"

"Stabbing is more personal than shooting. There could be a sexual component."

"He couldn't have tied the second hand himself. The unsub did it for him, which would be risky because the victim could fight back if he saw an opportunity."

"Why not drug him? It would eliminate the risk."

"Tox screen came back negative."

"So it's either consensual, or he has a partner. He's also learning."

"What do you mean?"

"He hid the body in the closet, and then indicated that the victim checked out. So, when the housekeeper got here, everything looked normal, so she accidentally cleaned up any DNA or evidence."

"We should talk to whoever cleaned the room."

Ryuko walked back in. "The families said they were both straight."

"We think the unsub has a partner," said Aikuro, "Since the victims were straight, the partner be a woman."

"She seduces them and ties them up, and then he stabs them."

"Do you know who cleaned the room?"

"Yeah, Rei said it was a guy named Shinjiro Nagita. He lives in the hotel. She said he's probably on the roof."

They went up to the roof. Up there was a black-haired man with glasses smoking marijuana.

"Shinjiro Nagita?" asked Ryuko.

"Oh, uh, I-I get migraines."

"Don't worry, we don't care about the pot. You found the body?"

"Yeah."

"You ever see him before?"

"No. Since I opened the closet, I can't stop thinking about him."

"What about the first victim?"

"No, never saw him, either."

"Do you remember anything about room before you found him?"

"It was pretty normal. Y'know, except for the closet."

"Was anything strange about the body, or anyone at the hotel last night?"

"No. You see one drunk frat guy, you seen 'em all."

"Shinjiro," said Aikuro, "I thought you said you didn't recognize him."

"I-I didn't, I just, I-I know the type. They walk around like they own the place, y'know? They think they can do whatever they want."

"How long have you worked here?"

"Uh, 6 months, I guess."

"Thanks, we appreciate your time."

"Hey, um, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"You've seen bad stuff, right?"

"Yeah, I have."

"How long does it take until you can close your eyes without it bein' there?"

"I still don't know, man. I still don't know."

As the three of them left Shinjiro on the roof, neither of them noticed Houka faintly smiling at Aikuro's response.


	16. Still Not A Criminal Minds Ripoff

Ryuko, Aikuro, and Houka were at the station discussing the murders.

"The second victim's girlfriend described him as overtly sexual and aggressive towards women," said Ryuko, "His friends said they were out partying the night he died, and he was willing to forget about his girlfriend for a while."

"I've been thinkin'," said Aikuro.

"Never a good sign."

"Shut up, rookie."

"Fuck you, jackass."

"Anyway, if the Doc's right, and the stabbing is like a sex thing, then why not just use a knife instead of scissors?"

"Well," said Houka, "I believe it's possible that our male unsub uses the scissors because it cuts off parts of the flesh and heart, causing more pain than a knife. An extra bit of sadism before the victim's death."

"What if our unsubs treat their victims the way they view them as treating women?" asked Ryuko.

"Interesting theory, Detective Matoi," said Houka.

Mako walked up to them. "Hey, Ryuko, your dad told me to tell you that they found another body. It's in a different location, Takarada Hotel, but it's the same MO."

"Alright, we'll check it out now. Houka, this is my girlfriend, Mako. Mako, this is-"

"Doctor Houka Inumuta. I've interviewed your younger brother. It is a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Mankanshoku."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister Inumuta."

Houka's smile briefly faded. He preferred being called "Doctor" when his last name was being used.

"Anyway, _Miss_ Mankanshoku, we must be going. I look forward to seeing you again." He turned to the detectives. "We shall take my car. I'll drive. I don't understand why we took our own vehicles last time, it's a waste of gas."

They drove to the hotel in Houka's midnight blue 1954 Buick Roadmaster. When they went in, they were greeted by an orange-haired Japanese man.

"Hello, I'm Kaneo Takarada, CEO of Takarada Conglomerate. You must be with the HCPD. Unlike Councilwoman Kiryuin, I actually show up when someone dies at my hotel. Honestly, Ragyo Kiryuin is such a-"

"She's my mother."

"Great woman, absolutely a pleasure to be around, greatest woman I've ever met in my entire life."

The two men went to the room where the body was found, while Ryuko interviewed the victim's friends and family. She went to the room a while later.

"Victim's friends said that they saw him leave with a blonde in a pink dress," she said.

"Our unsubs probably changed locations to remove suspicion from any Kiryuin Hotel employees," said Houka, "We should probably have a press conference."

A while later, they held a press conference outside the police station.

"We're looking for two unsubs," said Ryuko, "At least one of them works at the Kiryuin Hotel. They're likely in their late teens or early twenties. One of them is a male who's usually submissive, except towards their partner. His partner is socially awkward, of average intelligence, and emotionally unstable. Look for women who are reclusive, have a problem with authority, and can't interact with dominant personalities. The unsubs target men with alpha male personalities."

Later, inside the station, Houka was looking at video surveillance from the Kiryuin Hotel.

"Hey, Doc," said Ryuko, "You got somethin'?"

"I think I might have something. Actually, it's what I don't have that interests me. There is no video surveillance of the hotel on the days of both murders. However, I do have something on the days leading up to them, and I found this. There's the first victim, seemingly making advances towards a female hotel employee."

"Hey, there's Nagita."

"The victim grabs her, and Nagita attempts to intervene. He knocks Nagita down. Nagita pauses."

"And then Nagita beats the shit out of the victim. He told us that he never met him."

"Also, I've looked into Nagita. The Nagitas adopted him when he was 5. Before that, there's nothing. Not even a last name. He did briefly get into a fight when he was 17, so we have his DNA on file. I'm looking into it now, so I can find out who he really is, and...well, what do we have here?"

"What?"

"His DNA resembles that of a woman who was arrested at one point for drug possession. I think she's his mother."

"Okay, do we have a last name?"

"Ryuko..."

"What?"

"The woman's name was Ragyo Kiryuin. Shinjiro Nagita is actually Shinjiro Kiryuin. He's your younger brother."

Ryuko became silent. She walked into the commissioner's office and told her father. She came out, crying. Then, she took out her phone and called her sister.

"Satsuki, I...I got somethin' to tell you."


	17. In Which Satsuki Confronts Her Mother

Ragyo Kiryuin was sitting on a grey couch in the living room of Kiryuin Manor. Satsuki walked in, and sat on a white couch.

"Mother."

"What is it?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"I never-"

"No, I guess you didn't lie. You just never told me the truth. You never told me who my father was, and you never told me that I had a sister. Why?"

Ragyo became silent for a few minutes, starting to cry a bit. Then, she started to talk again.

"I wish I had a good reason, Satsuki. I really do. But the truth is, I didn't tell you because I never had any time. I always told myself that I'd tell you one day, but I was so damn focused on my career, that day never came. I was a horrible mother to you, Satsuki. I have no excuse for what I did."

Satsuki started to cry.

"You know, I could forgive you if you only didn't tell me about my father and Ryuko. If you didn't keep something else from me."

"Satsuki, I don't-"

"Shinjiro, mother. Tell me about Shinjiro."

Ragyo became quiet again, before talking again in a somber tone.

"Shinjiro is your twin brother. When Ryuko was 6, and you two were 5, you were abducted."

"Jesus..."

"My former drug dealer had started to lose money because I used to be his biggest buyer. So, he had his men abduct the three of you and hold you for ransom. They almost raped and killed all three of you. Shinjiro was the closest to being raped. You were all saved at the last minute by a man named Tsumugu Kinagase, a vigilante. He brought you and Shinjiro to the manor, and then brought Ryuko to Soichiro."

"I guess that's why he didn't know about me."

"Shinjiro was...different after that. He was a very troubled child. He saw things, he heard things, and sometimes, it was like he didn't even know who he was. I could barely raise you, I couldn't possibly raise him. I would have been a terrible mother to him. He deserved better. It was my fault he was so disturbed. So, I sent him to live with my friends, the Nagitas. I visited him, occasionally. Eventually, he even got a job at the Kiryuin Hotel."

"Yeah, that's...that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about."


	18. Probably Not A Criminal Minds Ripoff

Ryuko was talking to Satsuki on her cellphone in the police station.

"Christ...well, see you later. We're bringin' Shinjiro in for questioning now."

Aikuro walked up to her. "So, it turns out that Rei told her employees not to tell us about Shinjiro's fight with the victim. She's known him since they were kids. Even lets him live in the hotel. Thought we'd just pin the blame on him. Disturbed kid, easy target. I don't think she's involved, she passed the polygraph we gave her."

"Well, at least we know she didn't kill them."

"You alright? I mean, you just found out that you have a brother."

"I'm fine."

"Alright. Houka's givin' the polygraph to Shinjiro."

Houka and Shinjiro were in the interrogation room. Shinjiro was hooked up to a polygraph machine.

"State your name."

"Shinjiro Nagita. Well, I guess you could call me Shinjiro Kiryuin or Shinjiro Matoi, too."

"What color are your eyes?"

"Green. Well, kind of a greenish-blue, I guess."

"Where were you the night the third victim was killed?"

"At home."

"Who is the commissioner of the HCPD?"

"My father."

"Did you murder the second victim?"

"No."

"Did you murder the first victim?"

"No."

"What is 32 minus 19?"

"13."

"Would you kill for Rei?"

"No."

"You lied about the fight with the first victim. Is there anything else you've lied about?"

"No."

"Have you ever had a sexual relationship with Rei?"

"No."

"Using the formula Y equals MX plus B, what does B represent?"

"I-I don't know."

"Do you remember anything about the fight?"

"I don't. I-I mean, I don't, but I-I do."

"I don't understand."

"Well, I-I saw him grab the girl, and then I-I blacked out. I woke up after the fight."

"Interesting. How much sleep do you get?"

"Not a lot. I mean, I always think I get enough sleep, but I'm always tired during the day."

"Well, I think we're done here. You're free to go."

"About damn time."

They walked out of the room.

"Later, Ryuko. Next time, try catchin' the real killer," said Shinjiro as he walked out of the station.

"That was kinda weird," said Aikuro, "He wasn't like that at the hotel."

"Well," said Ryuko, "we did kinda accuse him of killin' 3 people."

"Still, I think there's something kinda...not right about him."

Later, at the Kiryuin Hotel, a young Japanese man was drinking at the hotel bar. He was then joined by a blonde Japanese woman in a pink dress.

"Hi. I'm just gonna be straight with you. You probably wanna fuck a girl, and I probably wanna fuck a guy. You're a guy. I'm a girl. Let me buy you a drink, and we can take this to your room. I'm Nui, by the way. Nui Harime."


	19. A Criminal Minds Ripoff

Ryuko, Aikuro, and Houka were in the police station. They had just returned from investigating the fourth murder.

"Goddammit," said Ryuko.

"We'll get the bastards eventually," said Aikuro.

"I've been thinking," said Houka.

"About what?" asked Ryuko.

"Shinjiro spiked under a question in the polygraph. A control question to set the baseline. It was a geometric equation."

"Maybe he was just nervous."

"What if he lied? What if he did know the answer?"

"Why would he lie?"

"Because he knew that he wouldn't know the answer."

"I don't understand."

"He's always tired. He has a history of blackouts and mental illness. Reclusive behavior. Abuse suffered at the hands of several dominant males. They dressed him like a girl. Years later, he finds himself surrounded by dominant males."

"Where are you goin' with this?"

"What if our unsubs aren't a couple?"

"Dissociative Identity Disorder? You think my brother's a multiple personality?"

"Possibly. When he got knocked down during his fight with the first victim, his entire body language changed. His personality was also different when he left the station. What if the female personality surfaced for just a moment and realized he wouldn't know the answer?"

Shinjiro was sitting on the roof of the Kiryuin Hotel. Rei walked up to him, carrying a plastic bag.

"O-oh, uh, hey. I-I thought you were going home."

"I found this in your room."

"Y-you went in my room?"

She opened the bag, revealing a blonde wig, a pink dress, some blue contact lenses, and a pair of purple scissors.

"Why do you have this?"

"I-it's not mine."

"It was in your closet!"

"Rei, I-I don't-"

"Did a woman get you involved in this?"

"No!"

"If you turn her in, I can help you."

"I didn't kill those people!"

"I want to believe you, Shinjiro."

"Believe me!"

"I think that we should go to the police together."

"No!"

"I'll be there with you. We'll figure this out. Or I'll go by myself."

Shinjiro stood up and glared at Rei.

"I said **NO** ," he said in a high-pitched voice.

"Shinjiro, what-"

"You shouldn't be up here, sweetie."

"Shinjiro-"

"My name is Nui."

"If you're in some kind of trouble, I can help you."

"Shinjiro doesn't need you anymore."

Nui pushed her against a wall, knocking Rei unconscious before taking the bag and leaving the hotel.

A while later, the police arrived.

"Rei, are you alright?" asked Ryuko.

"It..it wasn't him. He called himself Nui."

"The other personality," said Houka.

"Where would he go?"

"Not he. She. Nui, she panicked. She knew we would connect this to her. She's going to go after the person she blames for her creation."

"She's gonna go after mom."

The police drove to Kiryuin Manor. Ryuko kicked down the door and went inside. Nui, wearing her wig, dress, and contacts had tied up Ragyo, Satsuki, and Soroi. She was holding the scissors against Ragyo's throat.

"Nui," said Ryuko.

"Stay back."

"Put the scissors down."

"Stand back or I'll kill her."

"Just do it," said Ragyo, "Kill me, and let Satsuki and Soroi live."

"You don't wanna do that, Nui."

"You don't know what she did. What she's responsible for."

"You were kidnapped because she owed Gamagoori money."

"They put Shinjiro in a dress. They were going to rape him."

"He was just a little boy. He needed you to protect him."

"I could take it. I was stronger than he was. She deserves to die!"

"Nui. Nui, that's not for you to decide. I swear to God, if you let her live, and you come with me, I will get you and Shinjiro the help that you guys need."

"Shinjiro will be sentenced for what I've done! No!" Nui held the scissors against her own throat. "I can't let that happen!"

"Nui. If you kill yourself, you kill Shinjiro. I don't see how that's protecting him. And you know what I know? I know that all you wanna do in this world is protect Shinjiro."

"It's all I've ever done!"

"Then why don't you and I help him together?"

"You can't help him! I'M THE ONLY ONE!" Nui tried to stab Ragyo. Ryuko pushed her against a wall, causing Nui to accidentally stab herself in her left eye. Nui laughed as she fell onto the floor. A broken blue contact fell out of her bleeding eye as she pulled the scissors out.

"I know what I have to do," she said in a calm voice, "I will keep him safe _forever._ "

"Shinjiro!" cried Ryuko.

Nui did not answer her.

"Shinjiro-"

"Ryuko," said Satsuki, with tears in her eyes, "He's gone."

A few days later, Nui was transferred from Honnouji Penitentiary's hospital to its psych ward. Ryuko visited her. Nui was wearing her blonde wig, pink dress, blue contact lense, and her new purple eyepatch.

"Tell me, Ryuko. How long will you keep visiting me here?"

"Until I find Shinjiro."

"Why do you care?"

"He's my brother. He deserves a life. It's his."

"So you're trying to wear me down and release him?"

"No. I'm just waitin' for you to do the right thing."

"Well," replied Nui in a somber tone, "I'm afraid you'll be waiting for a very long time."

Ryuko left Nui's room. She heard a few things as she walked out of the psych ward. She heard the TV in the waiting room say that the "Scissors Killer" had finally been caught, and she heard Uzu Sanageyama scream something about someone called the "Song And Dance Man".


	20. In Which Uzu Meets The Worse Villains

Uzu was hallucinating. He thought he was hallucinating. He hoped he was hallucinating. He was just in his padded cell a few seconds ago. Now, he was staring at barren, pure white ground and a bright yellow, green, and blue sky. The Song And Dance Man was standing in front of him.

"What's up, motherfucker?~" the entity asked.

Uzu realized that he could not speak.

"Oh, right, right, riiiiggghhhhtttt. Forgot that I fucked around with your vocal cords. Don't worry, it's nothing permanent, my young Jap friend. So, you might be wondering who I am."

The Song And Dance Man stretched his torso behind Uzu. He then proceeded to walk around Uzu, in a sense- his torso split into two halves vertically, his shirt and hat fell off, and the halves made their way back to his lower body, where they reformed. He then picked up his clothes and put them back on. Uzu realized that the entity's body was liquid.

"I'm the Song And Dance Man!~ I'm the second-in-command of the Death Fibers. The Master Of Puppets, also called the Primordial Death Fiber, is our leader. Surprised? Like, we're only 20 chapters into this thing, and the author, being an impatient faggot, drops a bombshell like this. This isn't even half of the fucking prologue yet. Aaaannnnyyyyyyywaaaaayyy, here's the other Death Fibers!~"

An entity materialized out of thin air. It looked exactly like the Song And Dance Man, with a few differences- its fingers looked like elongated claws, there was a large, thin spike on each of its shoulders, each spike seemed to rise over its head, it was not wearing any clothes, and it was wielding a large sword in its right hand. The sword changed its appearance every few seconds- from a gladius to a katana to a zweihander, etc. The entity appeared to be made out of some kind of gas. A dark green cape, filled with holes probably caused by some type of gun, appeared on its back every few minutes.

"I am Aggressor," the creature said in a deep, demonic voice.

"He's one of the Council Of Four, like me. I'm the leader 'cause I'm different~ He likes violence. Like, a lot. He goes into random universes and starts wars sometimes. It's fucking hilarious. Anyway, the Council is basically a group of the highest ranking Death Fibers."

Another entity appeared. It looked like the Song And Dance Man, except for a few differences- it was wearing a lab coat, had a single small horn on its head pointing backwards, and was holding an electrified green and black blob in its right hand. The entity was made out of plasma.

"I am Helix," he said in a cold, calculating voice.

"He's another Councilor. He knows everything about science. Fucking nerd."

Another entity materialized. Its torso was covered in gold and black Roman armor. It was headless. Its lower body was covered by a gold and white ball gown. It was holding a gold and light blue staff, with a white mask on the end. The left half resembled a comedy mask and the right half resembled a tragedy mask. This was the creature's face. The creature was made out of a gelatinous substance.

"I am Traum," the entity said in an androgynous voice.

"He's the last Councilor. He likes poetry, literature, you know, shit like that. Wanna see our low ranking soldiers? That was a rhetorical question, by the way. You're gonna see them."

A man in a business suit wearing a yellow smiley face mask- which Uzu was certain was his actual face- appeared, introducing itself as Mister Brightside in a cheerful voice. A horrifically burnt corpse appeared, introducing itself as the Burning Man in a Mexican accent. A metallic humanoid appeared, introducing itself as Mister Robot in a robotic voice. A man wearing a Max Headroom mask- Uzu was certain that this one also had a mask-like face- and white shirt with a black tie, brown jacket, black pants, and black shoes introduced himself as Maximillian Headroom in a nasally voice. Uzu thought the name made sense.

"By the way, Uzu," the Song And Dance Man said, "I'm talking to you because you and your friends are gonna be veerrrrrrrryyy important to us in the future. And this isn't a hallucination. This is real." He was now speaking in a voice resembling a chain smoker from Hell. It was dark and demonic. It sounded like Satan's breathing.

"Uzu, do you wanna see my face? I usually keep it covered up. No reason, I just like showing my face at the last second. I want the people I kill to see Hell before they die."

Two black diagonal lines appeared on the top of the Song And Dance Man's face, expanding to reveal pitch black Jack O' Lantern-like eyes. Two small vertical slits appeared in the middle of his face. These were his nostrils. A crooked line appeared under his nostrils, expanding to reveal a pitch black Jack O' Lantern-like mouth. The black areas occasionally had small, glowing, blue flashes inside them. When Uzu looked at his face, he felt like his soul was being raped.

"You wanna make it stop? Then don't see anymore."

Uzu was back in his padded cell. His straitjacket was on the floor. He still saw the Death Fibers. A knife was on the ground in front of him.

"I DON'T WANNA SEE HIM!" he screamed, "I DON'T WANNA SEE THE SONG AND DANCE MAN!"

When the doctors arrived to see why he was screaming, Uzu had already gouged out his eyeballs with the knife.


	21. Making Friends (And Girlfriends)

Houka was in his office at Probe. Kaneo Takarada and a blonde man wearing a lab coat were sitting next to him.

"Hello, Mister Takarada," said Houka, "I'm glad you could come. This is my friend, Doctor Shiro Iori."

"Pleased to meet you, Mister Takarada. I'm a microbiologist. I'm researching biological warfare."

"He's quite skilled at mutating bacteria and viruses. He experiments on the homeless sometimes. It runs in the family. His grandfather on his mother's side- I think his last name was "Soroi"- was involved with Unit 731 in World War II. And now his son- Shiro's uncle- works for Kiryuin."

"Doctors, why are you telling me this?"

"I'm just making small talk, Kaneo. Anyway, Shiro is trying to create a contagious virus that mimics a combination of HIV, necrotizing fasciitis, and cancer. What did you call it?"

"Shinra-Koketsu."

"Why should I care, Doctors?"

"Well, Kane is already funding his research, but it's just not enough money. So, we need you to help out."

"And why would I do that?"

"Greed, of course. Greed and power. We unleash the virus on Honno, then we tell the government to give us weapons and money. If they don't, we unleash it again somewhere else. Kane's already supplied us with military-grade weaponry and all of his men, so the government won't try to stop us. If you join us, you can have whatever you want, Kaneo."

"You make a convincing offer, Doctor Inumuta. I'm in."

At the police station, Mako had finally got some DNA from Hellhound's first victim.

"Hey, Ryuko! I got something!"

"What is it?"

"I found a small bit of saliva in the victim's wounds. Usually, Hellhound would've used some kind of acid to destroy the DNA evidence, but he missed this little bit of saliva. I ran it through the database, and there were no results."

"But Sanageyama's in the database."

"Exactly. He lied."

Elsewhere, Satsuki walked into SCOURGE. Ira was at the bar.

"The fuck are you here for? I ain't hirin' anymore. I replaced my old bitches."

"I'm a rich person in a whorehouse, why do you think I'm here?"

"Aight, I get it. Hey, ain't you Kiryuin's kid?"

"Yes, and I'll pay double if you keep your mouth shut."

"Deal. I got a bitch ready for you right now. She's in the back."

Satsuki gave him the money, and went into the back room. She found Nonon lying on a bed.

"Oh, uh, hi," said Nonon. She was happy that she finally had a female customer.

"I remember you. You saved my life."

"After I broke into your house."

"You still saved me. Is there any way I can repay you?"

Nonon smiled. "I can think of a few things."

About 2 hours later, both girls were naked and exhausted.

"Holy. Fuck. That was the best sex of my life."

"Thanks. Am I the first girl you've fucked here?"

"Yeah. By the way, I live at Symphony Apartments. It's next to Blade Apartments, the one with all the crime scene tape around it. Hellhound used to live there."

"Again, thanks for saving me from him."

Nonon wrote something down on a piece of paper and gave it to Satsuki. "Here's my apartment number and my phone number. You can thank me again some time."

Satsuki smiled. "I'd like that."

When Satsuki left the building, she didn't notice that Houka was standing outside of it.


	22. Evil Starts With H

Houka walked into SCOURGE. Ira was at the bar. The cannibal gave some money to the gang leader.

"5000 yen. In accordance with our agreement."

"Aight. YO, BITCHES! GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!"

Several women, including Nonon, entered the bar area from various rooms. Houka immediately pointed at her.

" **That one,** " he growled. "Before you and I met, Uzu and I hired her to rob Kiryuin. At the time, it was the safer option to get the funding we needed, as opposed to meeting with you. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had killed Uzu that day. Anyway, I told Uzu that he could kill the Kiryuins if he wanted to. Since we only needed Nonon to get him into the house, I told him to kill her if she interfered with his fun. It...didn't go well."

Ira grabbed a gag and some rope from one of the rooms, tied up and gagged Nonon, and threw her into the trunk of Houka's car. He drove to his house, pulled her out of the trunk, and dragged the struggling girl into his basement.

"Quit squirming, you fucking cunt."

He threw her onto an operating table in the middle of the back room of the basement. He handcuffed her wrists and ankles to the table and ungagged her.

"You sick son of a bitch!" she screamed.

"Son of a bitch? I'm not a son of a bitch. My mother is a good woman. And so is my father. He's a retired police officer. I know that's not what you meant, but to be honest, I just like hearing myself talk."

"If you fucking touch me, I swear to fucking God I'll-"

"You'll do what? Scream at me? You're handcuffed to a table, Nonon. There's nothing you can do. But scream all you want, I do love the sound of it." He looked into a box next to the table. Inside of it were several instruments of torture, including knives, a gas can, lighters, a baseball bat, and a taser that he designed. On the other side of the table was a large vat of sulfuric acid. "Nobody can save you. Not even Satsuki."

Nonon's eyes widened in fear. "H-how did you-"

"How did I know?" Houka laughed. "Well, a while back, after the media christened me, Satsuki's sister and her partner investigated my crimes. I followed them around from a distance. They never knew that I was there. After I gathered some data on them, I went to were they lived, and I put small security cameras everywhere. I designed them myself. They stream a live feed to my laptop on a 24/7 basis." He leaned in closer to her face. "They were never really a threat to me, but I'm going to kill them both, anyway. Just for fun. I wonder how Ryuko's flesh tastes. I might even torture her with tools of my own design. And after I kill them, I'm going to skin Satsuki alive." He smiled, and for a brief second, Nonon truly believed that he was the Devil.

He looked into the box again. "What should I do first?" he wondered. "I think I'm going to cut your face off and burn what's left of it. You might want to close your eyes for this."

Nonon closed her eyes and waited for her death. When she heard a loud noise and realized that she was still alive, she opened her eyes. Houka was unconscious on the ground. Satsuki stood over him. She had hit him with his own baseball bat.

"Holy shit, Nonon."

"Satsuki-"

"Holy SHIT, Nonon!"

"Satsuki-"

"Did you SEE that?! I hit the fucker with a baseball bat! I went to go see you at SCOURGE, but you weren't there, so I asked one of the prostitutes where you were, and she said that she saw a guy with glasses and blue hair drive off with you in the trunk of his car, and the only guy with glasses and blue hair that lives anywhere close to here is Doctor Inumuta, so I went to Probe, and the basement door was unlocked, and-"

"SATSUKI!"

"What?"

"Could you uncuff me?"

"Oh. Right."

Satsuki uncuffed her and called the police. Ryuko and Aikuro arrived with several police cars and an ambulance following them.

"And to think," said Aikuro, "when I asked the fucker about his weird teeth, he told me he had a goth phase in high school."


	23. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Satsuki was in her room watching television. Her mother was on a business trip. There was a knock at the door. She got up and opened it. Standing in the doorway was Takiji Kuroido, the fat, dark-haired steward of the Kiryuin family. He was holding a phone.

"Lady Satsuki, it's your mother."

He gave her the phone and closed the door. A few minutes later, she walked out of the house crying.

Nonon was in her apartment, listening to Metallica's The Thing That Should Not Be while cuddling her plush seal, when Satsuki walked in.

"Hi."

"We need to talk."

"What's wrong? Satsuki, were you crying?"

"I...I talked with my mother today."

"About what?"

"She..."

"Satsuki, please tell me what's wrong."

"She doesn't think we should see each other anymore."

"W...what?"

"She doesn't want me dating a poor woman. She thinks it would hurt our family's reputation. She thinks she's protecting me."

"Well, tell her she's wrong! Fuck her, you can live with me!"

"Nonon, you can barely support yourself."

"I know, but-"

"Nonon...I'm sorry. I love you."

Satsuki left the apartment. Hours later, Nonon pulled out a shotgun from under her bed.

"One last job."

The next day, Nonon drove to Honno National Bank, and went inside with the shotgun.

"Everyone get on the fucking ground, this is a robbery!"

About an hour later, she was handcuffed and in the back of Ryuko and Aikuro's police car. It was filled with an uncomfortable silence, before Nonon finally said something.

"Ryuko, I didn't want you to arrest me."

"Nonon, you were gonna rob a fucking bank-"

"With an unloaded shotgun, without a mask, and without any body armor. Like I said, I didn't want you to _arrest_ me."

At Nonon's trial, Satsuki told the judge that she had ordered Nonon to rob the bank. They were both convicted. Before she and Nonon were transported to Honnouji, Ryuko talked to her.

"Satsuki, what the fuck was that?!"

"Ryuko, you know what kind of people are in Honnouji. People like Inumuta, people like Mako's brother, people like Sanageyama, people like Shinjiro. I can protect myself, Nonon can't. She only barely survived Sanageyama attacking her the night he almost killed me. She needs me."

As Nonon and Satsuki entered Honnouji Penitentiary, several guards ran past them, towards Honnouji's death row. Houka had chewed off his own lips.


	24. A Trip Down Memory Lane

Ryuko, Aikuro, and Mako were watching a movie at Ryuko's house. It was about a boxer and his family during the Great Depression.

"Y'know," said Aikuro, "this movie reminds me of this guy I arrested once, Takaharu Fukuroda."

"Wasn't he that boxer guy who got arrested with his girlfriend for robbing a bunch of gas stations?" asked Mako.

"Yeah, he and his girlfriend, Omiko Hakodate, a pro tennis player, were friends with Sanageyama. They all got high on this new drug that Gamagoori was sellin' and robbed 10 fuckin' gas stations. When I showed up, Sanageyama ran off."

"Didn't they also have another girl with them?" asked Ryuko.

"Yeah, I think her name was Maiko Ogure. She ran off with Sanageyama."

"Holy shit, I arrested her once."

"Tell us the story!" said Mako, excitedly.

"Okay, so Ogure was a drug dealer that worked for Kane. When I got to her house to arrest her, the whole fuckin' place was filled with goddamn bear traps."

"Holy shit, really?"

"Not even bullshittin'. I had to fucking jump on a table to avoid them. Oh, and there was this one other bitch, Aizenbo Fuguhara. She was a former stripper-"

"Y'know, I was a former male stripper."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it was at a place called "Nudist Beach". Like, that was the actual fuckin' name of the place. I met a girl there. Her name was Kinue, her friends insisted that she see a show for her birthday, and that's how we met. It didn't...end well. Anyway, keep goin' with your story."

"Okay, so Fuguhara was a former stripper who became a pro ping pong player. Which is apparently a thing that exists. She got mixed up with Sanageyama, and, long story short, she burned down her house while she was high on meth."

"I got one. Maimu Okurahama. She was a folk dancer who robbed a house with Jakuzure. She wanted to kill a family who saw them break in, but Jakuzure beat the shit out of her and called the cops before leavin'."

"I once received an anonymous tip from a woman that a local biologist was testin' out some fucked up surgical procedures on homeless people. I can't remember his name, but he was a real piece of shit. Now that I think about what her voice sounded like, it had to be Nonon."

"I once arrested a fuckin' circus. There was Masuyo Watari, the tightrope walker, Jack Naito, the knife thrower, and Kagesaburo Kagero, the Nanjing lily performer. The three of them were all high as a motherfucker and tried to rob a bank. Three guesses as to who they were friends with."

"Sanageyama?"

"Sanageyama."

"Tatamu Otte. Tried to mug Nonon. She beat the fuck out of him and called me. The gun he had on him was an origami gun that he painted black."

"Kusanosuke Yaguruma and Kusatao Uwabami. Two drug dealers who tried to extort one of Nonon's neighbors. Tried."

"The Touki brothers. Three homeless guys who lived outside of Symphony Apartments and sold clay laced with drugs. I didn't know that was possible."

"Ryosuke Todoroki. Sanageyama's friend. Sold drugs and weapons from his car. And not little ones, I'm talkin' RPGs."

"Hey, guys," said Mako, "the movie's over."

Ryuko looked for something to watch on TV, eventually deciding on a show about seals. She later promised Mako that they'd go to the zoo the next day. After the show about seals, the news came on. Ira had used an RPG he bought from Ryosuke to blow a hole in the wall of Houka's cell, allowing him to escape.


	25. This Is The End

Houka was in Ira's office. Ira was sitting at his desk.

"Ira, I have a bad feeling that our Shinra-Koketsu plan might not work."

"What makes you say that? Nice mask, by the way."

They heard Shiro screaming from downstairs.

"Just a feeling. And thank you."

They went into SCOURGE's basement to find Shiro screaming like a dying animal. He had accidentally infected himself with necrotizing fasciitis.

"Shiro, you goddamn idiot. Alright, time for Plan B. Ira, you stay here with Shiro. I'm going to kidnap Ryuko and torture her until the police come. They're going to arrest you and Shiro, assuming he's not dead by then. You're probably going to get the death penalty for your numerous crimes, so you should take a plea bargain and testify against every criminal you know in exchange for a reduced sentence. You have to be alive for Plan B."

"Aight."

"OH GOD, IT BURNS! MY SKIN FEELS LIKE IT'S MELTING!"

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid-ass nigga."

"Also, Plan B depends on our secret project hidden here to stay intact. Protect it with Shiro's life."

"FUCK YOU!"

"You're probably going to die anyway, Shiro. That's what happens when you infect yourself with mutated flesh-eating disease."

Houka walked to Ryuko's house before she and Mako came home from work and hid in the closet in her living room. Aikuro came over to watch a movie. After Aikuro had gone home (which was a large building formerly owned by Dotonbori Robotics, which was owned by Kaneo Takarada; Aikuro thought that if they changed their name to something simpler like "DTR", they wouldn't have gone out of business; of course, Aikuro had named his police car "The Naked Sun", so he probably had somewhat poor naming skills), and Mako had fallen asleep, he jumped out of the closet and knocked Ryuko unconscious, carrying her to SCOURGE's basement. He also left a note for Mako on the couch, telling her where he had taken Ryuko.

After tying her up, he carved a small "X" into her right eyelid. That woke her up.

"FUCK! MY EYE!"

"I didn't cut you enough to blind you, Ryuko. I just want you to remember our time together."

A few hours later, after Houka had burned the back of Ryuko's left hand with a lighter, Aikuro and what can only be described as an army of HCPD officers, even the ones who used to look down on her for being a rookie, stormed SCOURGE and arrested Houka, Ira, and Shiro. Shiro was later taken to Honnouji's hospital, where the doctors saved his life. Ira testified against several criminals, including Kaneo, in exchange for a reduced sentence. They were all convicted. Houka was handcuffed and was being escorted back to his cell, when he lost consciousness.

He woke up in a place he didn't recognize. Doctor Houka Inumuta had found himself in a strange place, to put it lightly.

Note: And that's the end of the Earth-2 prologue! That's 50% of the entire prologue finished! The chapters after this will be set in Earth-3, which is exactly like the anime's Earth (Earth-1), but their Houka Inumuta is..."different". And by "different", I mean, "completely batshit crazy and has an unhealthy obsession with Nonon".


	26. Third World Country

Note: The following chapters are set on Earth-3, in 2014.

"Good afternoon, Honnou!" said Houka Inumuta, the chairman of Honnouji Academy's Information And Strategy Commitee, into his voice-altering microphone, which he designed himself, "Welcome to the Web Show, I'm your host, 5pyd3rw38! That's spelled '5-P-Y-D-3-R-W-3-8', but pronounced 'spider web'."

Houka had started a radio show with him secretly being the host. Satsuki Kiryuin, the Student Council President, had recently informed the Elite Four that once they had freed humanity from the Life Fibers, they would lead normal lives. Houka had told her that he agreed, but internally, he was enraged. How dare she ask him to give up the power he had over others as a member of the Elite Four?

In addition, he also disagreed with her response to the Matoi problem. Houka had suggested that Ryuko Matoi, the new student who had somehow managed to find a Kamui a few days ago, should be hunted down and killed when she wasn't wearing the Kamui. Satsuki believed that Houka's suggestion was unnecessary. Ryuko would probably submit to the Council eventually, and if she didn't, then they would kill her if necessary.

And, of course, there was the Nonon situation. Nonon Jakuzure, who Houka knew was Satsuki's favorite member of the Elite Four, was the chairwoman of the Non-Athletic Committee. Houka loved her. Houka hated her. Houka loved and hated her. She saw him more as a friend. Shiro Iori, the Sewing Club President and close friend of Satsuki, had informed Houka that Nonon was homosexual, and that she was in love with Satsuki. In addition, Satsuki was also homosexual, and was in love with Nonon. Houka was pissed.

All of these things led to Houka deciding to overthrow Satsuki. The first phase of his plan was to create an anti-Satsuki propaganda show. He was speaking into a microphone at his desk, with a knife, which he always kept on the desk in case anyone attempted to break in, next to the microphone.

"So, Satsuki Kiryuin has executed another student! The student, who my sources have only identified as 'Suzuki', was a No-Star that stole a One-Star Goku Uniform. President Kiryuin and Disciplinary Committee Chairman Gamagoori claim that he was likely going to sell it to another school, but how do we know that? How do we know that Suzuki wasn't just trying to give himself and his family a better life? He wasn't arrested and questioned, he was just brutally murdered, and his naked corpse was used as a warning! Isn't that just disgusting? And Suzuki couldn't have been more than 17 years old! I want you to think about that, good people of Honnou. Satsuki Kiryuin murders teenagers. She isn't right for Honnouji Academy, and she isn't right for the citizens of Honnou Town! Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen. This is your friendly neighborhood 5pyd3rw38, signing off."

Houka turned off the microphone, and heard a knock at the door. He opened it to reveal Nonon, who had heard everything.

"Jakuzure," he said, cheerfully, "What the Hell are you doing in my house?"

"I picked the lock."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"When Satsuki told me about this radio propaganda guy, I knew that you were the only person in this shithole town that had the technology to alter your voice. I broke in to ask you about it-"

"And you heard me?"

"Yeah. I heard you."

"Did you tell her?"

"No. Houka, I want you to stop this. I didn't tell Satsuki because I knew she'd kill you. I'm your friend."

"And why did she only tell you about the radio show?"

"We were at her place-"

"Oh. I get it."

"What?"

"I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"I understand why you get a fucking flying TANK, while the rest of the Elite Four get regular Goku Uniforms."

"I don't know what-"

"I get it. You're her **favorite.** Her little  whore. You've been _fucking_ her behind my-" Houka paused. "Behind the _Elite Four's_ backs, haven't you?"

"I-"

" **HAVEN'T YOU?!** "

"Houka, you're acting crazy!"

"I. AM. _NOT._ **CRAZY!** "

Nonon stopped talking. Houka looked down, and realized why. In his rage, he had grabbed the knife, and stabbed Nonon in the stomach. He pulled it out. And then he stabbed her again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

When Houka had finally calmed down, Nonon Jakuzure was dead. Who could he blame for this? He had spied on Satsuki for some time a few weeks earlier, and discovered that she had a half-sister, Nui Harime, who was the Grand Couturier of REVOCS, and that Satsuki disliked her quite a bit.

Houka carved "NUI" into Nonon's stomach, and called Uzu Sanageyama, the chairman of the Athletic Committee. He had managed to convince Uzu to join his revolution with the promise of money and power. In Houka's mind, every man had his price.

"Hey, Inumuta, what's up?"

"Sanageyama, your brother has a car, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I need you to steal it and drive to my house."

"Why?"

"I'll explain when you come over."

When Uzu arrived, the two put Nonon's body in a garbage bag, put her in the car, and drove to her house. Houka broke in and stole her Goku Uniform. He wanted to find a way to create a Six-Star Goku Uniform. They then left her body in the middle of the road. The next morning, everyone in Honnou Town knew of her death.


	27. An Alliance And A Murder

Shiro and Satsuki were in the Sewing Clubroom. Satsuki had taken a sample of Nui's blood while she was sleeping, and had asked him to analyze it. She wanted to know if he could find any weaknesses she could exploit.

"My God..."

"What is it, Iori?"

"Well, Lady Satsuki, you know how the Life Fibers in Goku Uniforms temporarily attach themselves to their wearer's DNA to grant them superhuman abilities, right?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well, Harime's DNA doesn't just have Life Fibers attached to it. It's literally 50% Life Fibers. She's some kind of hybrid. I've never seen anything like it."

"As I suspected. That explains a lot about her. Any weaknesses?"

"Well, I assume that Bakuzan might be able to destroy the Life Fibers in her body. Intense heat might also be able to kill her."

"Thank you, Iori."

"...Satsuki?"

"What is it?"

"I...I didn't see you at the funeral."

Satsuki turned away from Shiro.

"I didn't go to Nonon's funeral because...because if I saw her body, that would mean that it was real. It would mean that it wasn't just some terrible nightmare."

"Who is Nui Harime?"

Satsuki sighed.

"She's my half-sister. And she's the Grand Couturier of REVOCS. My father never knew that she existed. My mother kept her in the basement until she was 4 years old. My father was willing to experiment on his own children, as long as it didn't cause us any long term harm..."

Satsuki paused, remembering her dead sister. When she died, her father realized how far Ragyo Kiryuin was willing to go in her mission to create a hybrid.

"Anyway, there were some things that my mother knew he'd never agree to. Infusing a human with Life Fibers is one thing, but creating a human with 50% Life Fiber DNA? He'd never agree to something like that. Nui was a...well, 'normal' isn't exactly the right word, but she was at least a somewhat good person as a child. Ragyo rarely let her out of the house, and when she did, it was only on business trips. She gave her the last name of 'Harime' because she didn't want Nui to see her as her mother. She wanted Nui to see her as her superior. We were friends. I was the only friend she had. But...I couldn't stop Ragyo from influencing her. It's hard to undo traumatic bonding. When she left the house 6 months ago and came back with a bloody scissor blade and with one less eyeball...that's when I knew she was dangerous."

"Damn. Well, anyway, I reinforced Bakuzan with extra Life Fibers, just in case."

"Thank you, Shiro."

"Satsuki, you do realize that if you kill Nui, you're essentially declaring war on REVOCS, right?"

"I do. Which is why I'm going to prepare for war."

Later that night, there was a knock on the door of the Mankanshoku residence. Ryuko opened the door, and Satsuki stepped inside.

"What the Hell are you doing here?!"

"Nui Harime."

"What?"

"Nui Harime. Grand Couturier of REVOCS and my half-sister. She killed your father and the love of my life. We have a common enemy. Get your Kamui and your scissor blade. We're going to kill her."

"Alright. Life Fiber Synchronize: Kamui Senketsu!"

Ryuko activated Senketsu, grabbed her scissor blade, and left. On the way to Kiryuin Manor, they talked for a bit.

"So, Life Fibers are aliens?"

"Yes."

"So I'm wearing an alien?"

"Yes."

"And since my scissor blade and your sword are made out of hardened Life Fibers, doesn't that mean we're both holding a ton of dead aliens?"

"Yes."

"You don't talk much, do you?"

"Not when I'm going to brutally murder someone."

When they arrived, Satsuki killed Takiji Kuroido, the Kiryuin family steward and the man who killed her father under Ragyo's orders, who attempted to stop her from accessing a hidden room. She and Ryuko entered the room to find Junketsu, a Kamui created by the Kiryuin family. Satsuki pulled it off the wall. Junketsu activated and immediately attempted to eat Satsuki. Eventually, she managed to overpower it. The two girls went to the living room to find Nui watching television.

"Hi, Lady Satsuki! Hi, Ryuko!~ You both look amazing-"

"Shut up."

"What's with the hostility, Satsuki? I just said-"

Satsuki severed Nui's left arm.

"MY **ARM**!  OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! MY _AAAAARRRRRMMMMMM!_ "

Nui laughed.

"Just kidding!~ Even if you cut it off, it'll grow back in no time-"

Ryuko crushed her arm with her foot, destroying it. Nui stared at the pool of bloody Life Fibers that used to be her arm.

"Oh, _fuck._ "

Satsuki severed her right arm.

"Why did you kill Nonon?"

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"

Satsuki severed her left leg.

"Why did you kill her?!"

"I didn't!"

Satsuki severed her right leg.

" **WHY DID YOU FUCKING KILL HER?!** "

"I DIDN'T!"

Satsuki severed her head, killing her half-sister.

"Matoi, don't absorb her Life Fibers. And don't destroy the rest of her body. Iori might be able to learn something from her corpse."


	28. Starring Houka As Dr Frankenstein

A lot had changed in the month since Nui Harime had died. The citizens of Honnou Town had been relocated to Honnouji Academy. Shiro was made a member of the Elite Four. The Student Council had become allies with Aikuro Mikisugi, Tsumugu Kinagase, Kaneo Takarada, and the rest of the anti-Life Fiber organization known as Nudist Beach, which was founded by Isshin Matoi.

The rest of Japan had been taken over by COVERS, Life Fiber entities that resembled grotesque mockeries of business suits. The Student Council were now equipped with DTRs, Nudist Beach's powerful war machines. They had recently received information from their scouts- Ragyo Kiryuin was attempting to create an incredibly powerful Kamui.

Shiro and Houka were studying Nui's corpse in the Sewing Clubroom.

"This is incredibly amazing, Inumuta. There are Life Fibers in Harime's heart-"

"I'm going to kill Satsuki. Also, do you want some coffee?"

Shiro stared at Houka.

"What?!"

"Coffee. Do you want some?"

"You're going to kill Satsuki?!"

"Alright, I guess you don't want coffee. Yes, I'm going to kill her. I mean, not right now, but I will eventually kill her."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, Shiro, in my Elite Four, I need someone who's good with Life Fibers."

"Who else have you recruited, traitor?"

"Uzu Sanageyama, I used the good old-fashioned 'money and power' method with him, Takaharu Fukuroda, I promised him a better life for both him and his girlfriend, Omiko Hakodate, and the chance to get revenge on Satsuki for demoting him to No-Star status, and Maiko Ogure, who was going to start a revolution of her own."

"What makes you think I'll join you?"

"Your uncle. If you don't join me, I'll kill him and everyone else in this building. Oh, by the way, Uzu, you can come out now."

Uzu stepped out from behind a staircase.

"Uzu needs a weapon. You know, something that's not fucking bamboo. He needs something that's a combination of the Rending Scissors and Bakuzan."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Of course you will. Oh, and since we're sharing secrets, you know that radio propaganda guy?"

"Is he you?"

"Yes. And you know how Satsuki thinks that her mother stole Nonon's Symphony Regalia?"

"You stole it."

"Yes. After I killed her. And, by the way, since we've cryogenically frozen Nui, she hasn't decayed, right?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Let's just say we're going to need a lot of Life Fibers. And some electricity. Uzu, get the other two down here. First, before we play God- which I have a feeling is going to be my new favorite game- you're going to infuse us with Life Fibers, yourself included. A Student Council is only as strong as its weakest member."

A few hours later, the New Student Council had become infused with Life Fibers, and Uzu's new "scissor-sword" had been completed.

"Now what?" asked Shiro.

"You're going to build a prosthetic heart and arm with Life Fibers. Oh, and a prosthetic eye."

Shiro's eyes widened in horror. "Y-you're not seriously-"

"I'm **always** serious," Houka growled, "And when you're done, get Satsuki down here. And do  not tell her about our little experiments, okay?"

The four traitors left, and Shiro started his new experiment. The next morning, Houka and Satsuki were called down to the Sewing Clubroom.

"Inumuta. Iori. What do you two want to talk to me about?"

"Let me answer your question with another question. Have you ever read Frankenstein?"

Satsuki stared at Houka. "What have you done?"

"Let's consider it an early birthday present. Iori, bring her out."

Shiro walked out of a hidden room. He was followed by Nui, who now had a new heart, arm, and eye. Her head and limbs were sewed onto her body. She was pale, and appeared to be unsure of where she was.

"Dear God..."

"I know, it's amazing."

"Inumuta, t-this isn't amazing, this is-"

"Before you finish that sentence, Lady Satsuki, I have to tell you something about Nui. We've managed to undo most of the traumatic bonding. She's now completely loyal to you."

"She...she is?"

"Yes. Nui, tell her yourself."

Nui was silent for a few seconds, before saying something.

"Sat...suki?"

"H-hello, Nui." Satsuki started to cry. "I-I'm so sorry, Nui. I'm so sorry for killing you."

"I..." Nui paused, as if she was trying to remember something. "Forgive...you."

Satsuki hugged Nui while crying. Nui didn't react.

"Where is...R...Ry..." Nui paused again. "Ry...u...ko?"

"She's upstairs, Nui. God, I missed you so much."

"Nu...i?" Nui paused a third time. "Nui. Nui...Nui...Nui Ha...ri...me?"

Satsuki stared at her in confusion. "Y-yes, Nui Harime. That...that's your name."

"Nui Hari...me. Sev...en...teen. Satsuki Kir...yu...in? Ryu...ko Ma...toi? Ra...gy...o Kiryu...in? Rei Hou...ou...ma...ru? Sis...ter? Mot...her? Friend? Fam...il...y? REV...OCS? Life Fib...ers? Grand Cou...Cout...Coutu...ri...er? Sciss...or blade? Ryu...ko. Ryu...ko. Have to...I have to...what? Have to...what?"

Nui stared at Satsuki. "I...I...can't...re...mem...ber." Nui started to cry. "Satsuki...why...can't...I...remem...ber?"


	29. Weird Science

Houka was in his room at Honnouji. He was admiring the Symphony Regalia, and wondered how Iori would be able to combine it with his Probe Regalia. His phone rang. It was Satsuki.

"Hello, Lady Satsuki."

"Hello, Inumuta."

"What is that you want to talk to me about?"

"I figured I should update you on Nui."

"How is she doing?"

"She's...better. She's started to remember a few more things."

"That's good to hear. Lady Satsuki, I must apologize. I had no idea that her resurrection would leave her..."

"Brain damaged? As long as I'm with my sister, I'm fine with it."

"I hope you two continue to do well."

"Thank you. Goodbye, Houka. You're a good friend."

Houka hung up. He hid the Symphony Regalia under his shirt and went down to the Sewing Clubroom. He also called the New Student Council down there.

"What do you want, Inumuta?" asked Shiro.

"Combine my Probe Regalia with Nonon's Symphony Regalia."

"A Six-Star Goku Uniform?"

"Why not? I am now 75% Life Fibers like the rest of you. It probably won't overwhelm me. I mean, if Matoi can wear something that's the equivalent of a Ten-Star Goku Uniform- well, technically, I guess it's at least a Fourteen-Star Goku Uniform considering the Life Fibers she absorbed from Fukuroda and Hakodate."

"Don't remind me," said Takaharu.

"Anyway, if she can wear a Fourteen-Star..." Houka paused. "Why _can_ she wear her Kamui, anyway?"

"Well, that...is actually a very good question," said Shiro, "Satsuki can probably control Junketsu because of the dormant Life Fibers in her body. Which means that Ryuko..."

"Well, this just got interesting. Sanageyama, tonight, you're going to break into Matoi and Mankanshoku's room. You're going to get a blood sample from Matoi. Also, get one from Satsuki so we can compare them."

Later that night, Uzu returned with the blood samples. Houka and Shiro analyzed them.

"Well, I'll be damned. They're sisters. And Ryuko's a hybrid. She's not a 'Nui kind of hybrid', she's a 'one of us kind of hybrid'. I'd say she's 50% Life Fibers."

"Satsuki said that her father died when she was 5 years old."

"Well, Shiro, it appears that he faked his death and ran off with Ryuko. She would have been 4 years old at the time, so I don't where she was before that. Maybe he paid someone to look after her for 4 years or something."

"Then Ryuko must be the dead sister that Satsuki's trying to avenge."

"Amazing. Well, I'll be going to back to my room now. Start working on the Six-Star Uniform. Come along, my New Student Council."

Houka, Uzu, Takaharu, and Maiko left.

"Why did he even call us down here?" asked Maiko.

"I don't fuckin' know," said Takaharu, "but he pays us, so who gives a shit?"

Nui was watching TV in her room. Satsuki came in, and sat down on her bed.

"Hi...Satsuki."

"Hello, Nui."

"Ry..."

"Yes, Ryuko has forgiven you for murdering you father."

"That's...good. Sat...suki?"

"What is it?"

"Why did...you...kill...me?"

"I...I killed you because you killed Nonon."

"No...non? But I...didn't."

"You're..." Satsuki stared at Nui. "You're telling the truth, aren't you? You really didn't kill her?"

"No...I didn't."

"But if you didn't kill her...who did?"


	30. Houka's New Friend

The Council Of Four were in their pocket universe, which would be visited by Earth-2's Houka and Uzu in 2 years. They were discussing the resurrection of Earth-3's Nui.

"THAT LITTLE BASTARD STOLE HER FROM US!" screamed Aggressor, "WE SHOULD GO THERE, RIP THE BITCH'S SOUL OUT, AND BRING HER BACK HERE!"

"After we've eliminated Inumuta," said Helix.

"This is, essentially, the Life Fiber afterlife," said Traum, "It's only natural that Harime should be returned to us."

"Everybody, just calm your shit," said the Song And Dance Man, "What if- hear me out- what if, instead of killing Inumuta and bringing Harime back here, we recruit him and leave her where she is? It should be very amusing~"

"Why are you the leader of us, anyway?" asked Helix.

The Song And Dance man glared at Helix. "I am the leader because the Master chose me to be the leader. And do you know why he did that? Because, unlike the rest of you, I have an actual personality. You three are just constructs, programmed by the Master with only the basic elements of personalities. You're basically robots. And I'm older than all three of you put together. He made you a few weeks ago. He made me into what I am now decades ago."

"We may be constructs," said Traum, "but at least we're 100% Death Fibers. The last time the Master recruited one of your kind, he went rogue. You're just like the Thin White Duke. You're just like-"

"Don't you DARE say his name," the Song And Dance Man growled, exposing his face, "You may say his title, but NEVER SPEAK THAT BASTARD'S NAME IN MY PRESENCE! DON'T YOU DARE **_EVER COMPARE ME TO INFERIOR BEINGS! I AM THE SONG AND DANCE MAN! I CAN MIMIC THE VOICE OF ANYONE, SCREAM LOUD ENOUGH TO SHATTER TITANIUM, SHOVE MY ENTIRE BODY INTO SOMEONE'S ORIFICE, REPLACE THEIR BLOOD WITH MY BODY, AND WALK AROUND IN THEIR SKIN! I CAN SILENCE ANYONE IN THIS UNIVERSE!_** ** _AND THAT INCLUDES THE THREE OF YOU!_** "

The other three Council members suddenly found themselves unable to speak.

"Now that we're all in agreement, I'm going to Earth-3~"

The Song And Dance Man disappeared through a blue portal, and appeared in Houka's room.

"What the FUCK?!"

"Hi~ So, Houka, you know Nui Harime, right?"

"I-I, uh, yes."

"Yeah, well, you kinda took her from me and my co-workers. It's cool, I'm not here to kill you. In fact, I'm here to help you kill Satsuki."

"Why?"

"Boredom, really. That, and if I recruit you and you kill her, then my organization's already taken over one universe."

"Okay, I'll join you, Mister..."

"I'm the Song And Dance Man."

He created a portal.

"Go through that, and you'll end up in Kiryuin Manor. Kill Ragyo and Rei, and destroy Shinra-Koketsu and the Primordial Life Fiber. Bring the Life Fibers to Shiro, and have them combined with the Six-Star Uniform."

"That's..."

"A 38-Star Uniform, I know. Now, go through the portal, and go all Friday The 13th on those bitches."

Houka stepped into the portal and, with the Song And Dance Man's help, killed the two women, the Kamui, and the Primordial Life Fiber.

"...What the fuck was that?"

"What? I did what you said-"

"I'm talking to you, human. I'm talking to him," said the Song And-

"Shut up."

Wait, are you talking to me?

"Yeah, you, the narrator guy. What was that? No climactic fight scenes, no dialogue, just 'they went in and killed them'? Like, what the fuck? Do you have ANY idea how disappointing that is for the readers?"

Look, they're just the Earth-3 versions, and they're not even major characters. Besides, it's like 1:13 AM. Give me a fucking break.

"...Fine. Anyway, Houka, go back in the portal and give the Life Fibers to Shiro."

"I'm kinda having an existential crisis right now-"

"I SAID GET IN THE FUCKING PORTAL! Oh, by the way, Satsuki knows that Nui didn't kill Nonon. Also, bugs can be infused with Life Fibers. That might be important later."

"O-okay."

Houka stepped into the portal, and appeared back in his room. He hid the Life Fibers under his shirt, and went down to the Sewing Clubroom.

"Hello, traitor."

"Here are some Life Fibers, put them in the uniform."

"Jesus, what happened to you? You look terrible."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Shiro began to sew the Life Fibers into the uniform.


	31. Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Houka's phone rang. It was Satsuki.

"Hello, Lady Satsuki."

"Inumuta, I called to let you know that it appears we've destroyed all of the active COVERS. For whatever reason, Ragyo isn't sending any more after us."

"How very interesting," said Houka, who decided not to mention that he had ripped Ragyo's head off with his bare hands and then crushed it after the Song And Dance Man sang Notorious BIG's Big Poppa loud enough to shatter Rei's skull. (There, are you happy now, you Slender Man rip-off?) ("I guess~") Houka also had a hangover from the previous night, where he decided to get drunk in order to forget that he was a fictional character. Eventually, he accepted it, and interpreted it as destiny/fate/whatever the fuck.

"Also, I wanted to let you know that I've recently learned that Nui didn't kill Nonon. Gamagoori and your father are investigating potential subjects."

"That's good to hear. I hope they find the bastard and kill him." Houka knew that he would eventually be connected to Nonon's death. His father, Akito Inumuta, was the deputy director of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. He was a smart man, and would inevitably investigate Nonon's friends. He had to act now.

"Anyway, I must be going now. I have to give a speech to the citizens of Honnou and inform them of the current COVERS situation. And Houka...thanks for being there for me through all of this. You're a good friend."

Satsuki hung up. Houka went to the Sewing Clubroom and called down the New Student Council.

"Alright, everyone, this is the moment we've been waiting for. The revolution starts now. I was once a stoic dog, but now, I am a mighty wolf. And it is time for this wolf to shed his sheep's clothing. Our targets are Satsuki Kiryuin, Ryuko Matoi, Nui Harime, and Ira Gamagoori. When these four people are dead, Houka Inumuta, the chairman of the Information And Strategy Committee will die, and Lord Houka, president of the New Student Council will be born. Sanageyama, go after Gamagoori and Matoi. Do NOT underestimate them. I will go after Harime and Satsuki. Iori, Ogure, and Fukuroda, since you three are the weakest of us, stay down here. Iori, what are my uniform's abilities?"

"Well, in addition to your natural strength, durability, and your ability to recover from injuries being increased by 75% because of the Life Fibers in your system, your Thirty-Eight-Star Goku Uniform comes equipped with the ability to analyze anything around you, optical camouflage, the ability to create illusions, wrist-mounted USB cable cannons, sonic weaponry, flight, missile launchers, buzzsaw launchers, lasers, the ability to use the sonic weaponry's sound waves to resonate with targeted Life Fibers- which immobilizes the targeted Life Fibers, the ability to create Life Fibers, the ability to neutralize Life Fiber-based abilities within a 3-inch radius, the ability to absorb Life Fibers, and Mind Stitching. If one combines your aforementioned increased natural abilities with the uniform's ability to increase them, then, in total, your strength, durability, and recovery abilities will be increased by 455%, compared to a normal human."

"Perfect. Sanageyama, when you kill Gamagoori and Matoi, my uniform will absorb their Life Fibers."

Uzu went to Honnouji Academy's courtyard. Ira was scouting for potential COVERS, just in case Ragyo had decided to send more.

"Hello, Ira."

"Good morning, Sanageyama. Where did you get a green scissor blade?"

"Technically, it's a scissor-sword. Iori made it for me, under Lord Houka's orders."

"Lord Houka? Sanageyama, what the Hell are talking about?"

"I'm talking about a revolution, Ira. Lord Houka will kill Satsuki, and become the New Student Council President. And you can't stop him. He's been infused with Life Fibers, and so have I. I'm going to kill you, toad."

"Then I suppose I will have to give my life to protect Lady Satsuki. BRING IT ON, TRAITOR!"

"THREE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: BLADE REGALIA!"

"THREE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: SHACKLE REGALIA!"

The two men transformed. Gamagoori began to whip himself, gaining enough energy for his secondary transformation.

"THREE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: SCOURGE REGALIA!"

Ira transformed again. It was a battle between two titans, one green and, while originally motivated by money and power, had eventually come to genuinely believe in Houka, to an almost religious degree, and the other brown and motivated by loyalty to his president and to the citizens of Honnou.

The fight shook the ground beneath the two giant uniforms. Walls were destroyed. Both men were sustaining heavy damage.

" **MEN! DOU! KOTE!** " the traitor screamed, punctuating each syllable with a strike to Ira's uniform.

" **YOU'RE A DISGRACE, SANAGEYAMA! YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THAT UNIFORM!** "

" _ **DECAPITATION MODE!**_ "

Uzu extended his scissor-sword, and destroyed Ira's uniform.

"I don't even know why you bother, Ira," said Uzu, who deactivated his uniform, "I can recover from any injury you give me. I'm a Life Fiber hybrid! Lord Houka is a god, and I am his most powerful archon! I-"

Ira pulled the scissor-sword out of Uzu's hand, and stabbed him in his left eye, destroying it completely.

" _ **MY**_ _ **EYE!**_ "

"Recover from that, traitor."

Uzu pulled the scissor-sword out of his eye socket, and stabbed Ira in the heart, killing him instantly. The Life Fibers from Ira's uniform floated up into the air, and floated towards Honnouji Academy's gymnasium.


	32. Houka Vs Nui

Houka walked into Honnouji's gymnasium. Nui was painting the walls pink (she thought it would cheer people up during what most of them thought was the end of the world).

"Nui Harime!"

"Hello...Inu...muta."

"Do you know who framed you for Nonon's murder?"

"No...I don't."

"I did. I killed the bitch and I framed you for it. And now I'm going to kill Satsuki."

"I won't...let you! MON-MIGNON...PRET-A-PORTER!"

Nui created hundreds of clones of herself.

"Let's do this, freak. THIRTY-EIGHT-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: LYCAON REGALIA!"

Houka's uniform transformed into a giant version of his Probe Regalia, resembling a knight's armor. The helmet resembled a dog's skull. He crushed the entire clone army with one foot.

"SCYTHE...MODE!" Nui's purple scissor blade transformed into a double-sided scythe. She slashed at Houka's ankle, tearing a hole in his uniform.

" **YOU CUNT!** "

The Life Fibers from Ira's uniform floated into the gymnasium and were absorbed into the Lycaon Regalia.

" **FORTY-ONE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: GEVAUDAN REGALIA!** "

Houka's uniform grew even larger, destroying the roof of the gymnasium. Three spikes, each one 10 feet tall, appeared on each of his shoulders. Curved horns appeared on his helmet. His fingers grew into claws. He impaled her with his left middle finger, killing her, and absorbed her Life Fibers.

" **FORTY-SIX-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: CU SITH REGALIA!** "

He grew even larger, destroying the walls of the gymnasium. A 20 foot long spike appeared in the center of each of his palms. A crown of spikes, each one 20 feet long, appeared on the top of his helmet. An enormous, dark blue scissor blade appeared in his hands.

" _ **SATSUKI KIRYUIN! I CREATED THE RADIO SHOW, I KILLED NONON JAKUZURE, AND I JUST KILLED NUI HARIME! COME OUT HERE, SATSUKI! COME OUT HERE, AND FACE THE DEVIL!**_ "

Satsuki walked into the gymnasium. Houka Inumuta, her loyal chairman of the Information And Strategy Committee, and one of her closest friends, had killed the two people she loved more than anyone else, and had started a revolution right under her nose.

"Y-you..."

Satsuki looked at his finger and saw what was left of her half-sister.

" _ **YOU BASTARD!**_ "

In her rage, she lost control of Junketsu. The dormant Life Fibers in her body activated. She grew into a monstrosity, roughly half the size of Houka's Cu Sith Regalia. She grew blue horns on her head. Her eyes grew nearly too large for her eye sockets. Her teeth grew into giant fangs. Spikes grew out of her left leg. Her skin became turquoise. Her right arm merged with Bakuzan. Her skirt grew into a mouth filled with fangs. She was covered with blood. A blue streak appeared in her hair. Satsuki had entered a berserk state.


	33. Houka V Satsuki: Dawn Of Dictatorship

Ryuko, who was wearing Senketsu, was in her room that she shared with the Mankanshoku family.

"Ryuko," said Senketsu, "I have a feeling that something bad's about to happen."

"Like what?" asked Ryuko.

"I don't know, but something is very wrong."

"Now that you mention it, I feel it, too. It feels like we're in danger."

"Don't worry, Ryuko!" said Mako, "If anything bad happens, we'll protect you!"

Uzu kicked down the door to the room.

"Sanageyama?! What the Hell happened to your eye?" asked Ryuko.

"NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!" screamed Uzu, "RYUKO MATOI! THERE IS A REVOLUTION HAPPENING AT THIS VERY MOMENT! I'VE ALREADY KILLED IRA GAMAGOORI! LORD HOUKA WANTS ME TO DESTROY SENKETSU AND KILL YOU, BUT IF YOU JOIN US, I'LL LET YOU LIVE! **SATSUKI KIRYUIN WILL DIE TONIGHT!** "

"Hell no! I won't join you, you fucking psycho! LIFE FIBER SYNCHRONIZE: KAMUI SENKETSU!"

" **THREE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: BLADE REGALIA!** "

He tried to strike Ryuko's head with his scissor-sword, but she blocked it with her scissor blade.

" **I'M GONNA KILL YOU! AND THEN I'M GONNA KILL YOUR LITTLE SLUT, AND THEN I'M GONNA KILL HER WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY!** "

" _ **YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!**_ "

Ryuko tore a hole in Uzu's uniform.

" _ **YOU CUNT! DECAPITATION-SCYTHE MODE!**_ "

" _ **DECAPITATION MODE!**_ "

Uzu extended his scissor-sword into a giant, double-sided scythe. Ryuko extended her scissor blade. The psychopathic traitor repeatedly crossed blades with the determined heroine.

"The Life Fibers your Kamui absorbed from Fukuroda and Hakodate should serve Lord Houka well when he finally kills Satsuki!"

Uzu destroyed Senketsu with his scissor-sword. His Life Fibers floated down towards the gymnasium.

" **SENKETSU! YOU BASTARD!** "

Mako pulled out a baseball bat from under her bed, and started to attack Uzu.

"LEAVE HER ALONE! IF I'M GOING TO DIE, I'M GOING TO DIE PROTECTING THE PEOPLE I LOVE!"

The rest of the Mankanshoku family started to attack him.

"You idiots! I WILL MAKE YOU SEE THE LIGHT!"

Uzu killed Mako and her family by decapitating them with his scissor-sword.

" _ **NO! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!**_ "

Uzu cut Ryuko in half, killing her. Her Life Fibers floated towards the gymnasium. Uzu laughed.

"Mission accomplished."

Houka was fighting a berserk Satsuki in the gymnasium. They had both managed to cause massive amounts of damage to each other. Before Satsuki could kill him, Senketsu's Life Fibers floated towards him, allowing him to absorb them.

" _ **SIXTY-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: FENRIR REGALIA!**_ "

Houka's uniform was now about half the size of Honnouji Academy. Eight 30 foot long spider leg-like spikes grew on his back. His claws became serrated. He picked Satsuki up, and threw her on the ground. She responded by getting back up and tearing a hole in his uniform's right foot.

" _ **FUCKING BITCH!**_ "

Ryuko's Life Fibers floated into the gymnasium and were absorbed into his uniform.

" _ **SIXTY-FIVE-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: ORTHRUS REGALIA!**_ "

He was now even bigger. His uniform was glowing blue. His blue scissor blade became a blue pair of Rending Scissors. A curved horn grew on each side of his helmet. Just before he could kill Satsuki, he was interrupted by several anti-Life Fiber missiles hitting his back. Aikuro, Tsumugu, Kaneo, and the rest of Nudist Beach had arrived to defend Satsuki. Aikuro and Tsumugu had combined their DTRs into the Ultimate Double Naked DTR.

" _ **NICE TRY, MIKISUGI! BUT A GOD CAN'T BE KILLED BY MORTALS! NOT EVEN BY YOUR DOTONBORI ROBOS!**_ "

" _ **IT'S D!**_ "

Aikuro fired a giant missile into Houka's right leg.

" _ **T!**_ "

He fired another missile into his left leg, almost causing Houka to fall.

" _ **R!**_ "

Every member of Nudist Beach fired hundreds of missiles at Houka, knocking him over. He responded by creating sound waves loud enough to destroy the DTRs and kill every member of Nudist Beach. Houka's uniform was severely damaged. He could barely hear himself think because of Satsuki's inhuman roaring. And then he realized something. That wasn't Satsuki's voice.

" **JUNKETSU! I HAVE A PROPOSAL FOR YOU!"**

Satsuki stopped moving. Junketsu had immobilized her.

" _ **SATSUKI KIRYUIN IS AN UNFIT HOST! SHE CAN'T USE YOU TO THE FULL EXTENT OF YOUR POWER! BUT I CAN! JOIN ME, AND I SHALL PROVIDE YOU WITH AS MUCH BLOOD AS YOU DESIRE!**_ "

Junketsu jumped off of Satsuki and was absorbed into Houka's uniform. Satsuki returned to normal, except that she could still use her hybrid abilities, and her part of her hair was still blue.

" _ **SEVENTY-FIVE-STAR REGALIA: CERBERUS REGALIA!**_ "

He grew as tall as Honnouji Academy. His shoulders grew into coverings that each resembled the top half of a dog's skull. His blue glow became nearly blinding. He picked up Satsuki, and stepped into the courtyard, each step causing the ground to shake.

" _ **CITIZENS OF HONNOU! I PRESENT TO YOU: THE EXECUTION OF SATSUKI KIRYUIN!**_ "

He threw her onto the ground and stepped on her. Satsuki Kiryuin was dead. Houka absorbed her Life Fibers.

" _ **EIGHTY-STAR GOKU UNIFORM: INUGAMI REGALIA!**_ "

He grew twice as large as Honnouji Academy. The blue glow was the only thing that anyone could see. His Rending Scissors grew into a blue pair of scissor-swords. He grew six giant wings, each one 60 feet long.

" _ **FEAR IS FREEDOM! SUBJUGATION IS LIBERATION! CONTRADICTION IS TRUTH! THOSE ARE THE FACTS OF THIS WORLD, AND YOU WILL ALL SURRENDER TO THEM, YOU PIGS IN HUMAN CLOTHING!**_ "

Note: And that's the end of the prologue! The next chapter will start the main story on Earth-1!


	34. In Which We Meet THE Hero(ine)

Note: The following chapters are set on Earth-1.

Nui was feeling happier than she had been in a long time. She had a feeling that it was going to be a great day. She had mostly forgotten the conversation with Hellhound she had a few days ago.

She walked out of her room (which she had recently painted pink) in the abandoned car factory. She then went to the back of the building, where Ragyo was trying to learn how to alter Life Fibers.

"Good morning, Lady Ragyo!~"

"Good morning, Nui. Since Life Fibers are rare on Earth these days, and the Primordial Life Fiber is still weak, I had to resort to experimenting on ones that I've pulled out of my body. It might take some time until you can Senketsu."

"That's okay, Lady Ragyo!~ I know that you'll figure something out. You're really smart," she said, smiling.

"I'm aware of my intelligence."

"So...Lady Ragyo..."

"What is it?"

"What should we do today?"

"Well, I'm going to continue my research. You can do whatever you want."

"So...just like every other day?"

"Yes."

"...Why?"

"Why not?"

"Isn't there anything you wanna say to me?"

"Not really. I'm rather busy at the moment."

Nui stopped smiling.

"...Lady Ragyo, do you know what day it is?"

"Monday."

"Um, yeah, but I meant-"

"Nui, I really must devote my attention to my research."

"O-oh...okay..."

Nui turned away, and then paused.

"Lady Ragyo...mother...do you love-"

"Nui. Not now."

Nui walked back to her room. She began to cry. And then she started to sing.

"Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday, dear Nui.

Happy birthday to me."

Elsewhere, in a small town in Kanagawa, Ryuko and the Mankanshokus were homeless. Their house had burned down after their new oven (which they found in a dumpster) had exploded.

Fortunately, Barazo had made a deal with a friend of his. The deal was that they could live in an apartment he owned if they got rid of a squatter that had moved in about a month ago.

They went to an old apartment that had one of its windows missing.

"This is the place?" asked Ryuko.

"It's not so bad, Ryuko!" cheerfully remarked Mako, "It just needs some work!"

Ryuko smiled. Mako, her girlfriend of two years (excluding one week where Mako dated Ira, which ended when the two decided that they would rather just be friends), always knew how to make her smile.

"Well," said Barazo, "we couldn't really afford anything better..."

"Mako's right," said Sukuyo, "It just needs some paint, a new window, and maybe a flower garden."

"It smells like booze and cat piss," said Mataro, who was carrying Guts. The rest of the family agreed.

Ryuko walked up to the apartment and knocked on the door.

"Anyone in there?"

"Fuck off," said a voice from inside the apartment. It sounded vaguely like a New York accent.

"Look, you're gonna have to leave."

"What part of 'fuck off' don't you understand? Stupid bitch."

"Oh, you wanna fight, asshole?"

She opened the door.

"Be careful, Ryuko!" said Mako.

"I'll be fine, Mako."

She stepped inside the dark apartment. She saw someone in the living room, watching TV and sitting on the couch.

"I was gonna be nice about this, but it looks like I'm gonna have to kick your ass!" said Ryuko.

The person stood up and walked over to Ryuko.

"What...the Hell?" she asked.

Standing in front of her was a tall, white humanoid. Its head was a featureless sphere. There were horizontal lines on its chest. Its feet were pointed and flat. It wasn't wearing any clothes.

"I thought I told you to fuck off," said the entity.

The Mankanshokus ran into the apartment.

"Ryuko, what's wrong?" asked Mako. She then noticed the entity. "OH MY GOD, IT'S JACK SKELLINGTON!"

"...What?" asked Ryuko and the entity at the same time.

"MISTER SKELLINGTON, I LOVED YOU IN THAT MOVIE!"

"Kid, I'm not Jack Skellington."

"Then what is your name?" asked Ryuko.

"...Okay, my name IS Jack, but I'm not Jack fuckin' Skellington."

"What are you?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, too many painful memories. Also, I forgot. That's what happens when you've been completely fuckin' wasted for a few years. Also, where am I?"

"Uh...an apartment?"

"I meant what country, dipshit."

"Japan."

"...Fuck. Last time I was sober, I was in Brooklyn. Anyway, what do you want?"

"Uh, well, we're kinda homeless, and-"

"Oh, is that all? Alright, you can stay here. I already sleep on the couch, anyway."

"Thank you, Jack," said Barazo, "I'm Barazo Mankanshoku, this is my wife, Sukuyo, my son, Mataro, our dog, Guts, my daughter, Mako, and her girlfriend, Ryuko Matoi."

"You got a nice family here, Barazo." Jack shook Barazo's hand. It felt completely solid, like a bone without any flesh on it. "I gotta put down some ground rules, though. Rule number one: Don't touch my fuckin' booze. Rule number two: Don't bother me with stupid fuckin' bullshit. And rule number three: Seriously, don't touch my fuckin' booze. Now that we've got that covered, you can all just go do whatever you fuckin' want. There's a bedroom for you and your wife, a bedroom for the kid, and one for the two lovebirds here. It's pretty fuckin' dark out, so, y'know, you should go to bed. Or don't, I don't give a fuck."

The Mankanshokus and Ryuko all went to bed.

"Well, Mako," said Ryuko, "that's...one way to get a new place to live."

At the factory, after Nui had stopped crying, a blue portal appeared in the center of the building. The Song And Dance Man walked out of it.

"What idiocy is this?!" asked Ragyo.

"Wow, you're reeeaaalllyyyyy ugly," said Nui.

"Now, ladies," said the Song And Dance Man, "Is that any way to talk to the man who brought you back from the dead?"


	35. In Which We Meet THE Villain

"You brought us back to life?" asked Nui.

"That's right. By the way, I'm the Song And Dance Man, second-in-command of the Death Fibers, who are led by the Master Of Puppets~"

"Death Fibers?" asked Ragyo.

"Yeah, Death Fibers. We're like the apex predators of the Multiverse. We mainly feed on Life Fibers. Hell, we love the taste of them so damn much, when they die, we take their consciousnesses or souls or whatever so we can keep eating them. Why do you think no more Life Fibers have arrived on Earth?"

"You ate them?"

"Yeah. I mean, most of them. There's a small population somewhere around KLK-X, but we have better things to do right now than go there. Anyway, I'm here because you brought some things with you that shouldn't have come back~"

"Senketsu and the Primordial Life Fiber?"

"And Bingo was his name-o! Senketsu was probably the strongest Kamui we ever got our hands on. We separated him from most of the Life Fibers he was merged with, except for-"

Senketsu vomited several Life Fibers, which reformed into Junketsu.

"There it is! Basically, he's now just a normal Kamui. Well, as normal as a hybrid can be. Anyway, he's been trying to escape for some time. He almost got away a couple of years ago, when Rei fought the Student Council, but we pulled him back. And the other guy...well, he means a lot to the Master. It's a personal thing, a kind of mutual hatred."

"We're not giving them back."

He laughed. "I'm sorry, what? I thought I just heard something retarded."

"We're not giving them back. I'm going to alter Nui's Life Fibers so she can wear Senketsu, she will hunt down and kill our enemies, and then we will wait until the Primordial Life Fiber is strong enough, and then we will destroy the world."

"Yeah, look, your 'deranged cultist' bullshit isn't scaring me. And you're not destroying Earth, we need it."

"Then I suppose I shall have to kill you."

He walked over to Ragyo and grabbed her arm. The spot where he touched became black, and smoke started to rise from it. He let go of her arm.

"I-impossible..."

"That's what Death Fibers can do to Life Fibers. Don't worry, I didn't hurt you too bad. It'll heal. Eventually. Of course, if I hurt you even worse, then it won't heal-"

He was interrupted by a figure walking out of the portal. It looked like the Song And Dance Man, except it was naked, and it had four fingers on each hand, making his hands look like plus signs.

"Hello, my faithful servant."

"Hello, Master. Ladies, this is the Master Of Puppets. Well, his avatar, anyway. If he manifests completely in this universe, he'll accidentally destroy it."

The Master walked over to the Primordial Life Fiber.

"Hello, old friend. Did you miss me?"

For a brief moment, the orange alien looked terrified of the white entity.

"But we never really were friends, were we? We were just using each other to get what we wanted. You wanted power, and I wanted the souls of your children. So, I gave you power. When we first met, all those millions of years ago, you were microscopic. If not for me, the Life Fibers would be only as powerful as tapeworms. I gave you power, and you refused to give me the souls of your children. So, I hunted them myself. And now...now, I have you again. You are very large now, you are almost touching the ceiling of this building."

He grabbed the Primordial Life Fiber with both hands.

"But you are still **weak.** "

He absorbed it into himself and walked over to the Song And Dance Man.

"That felt good. Now, my servant, I see that you have brought the hybrids back to life, like I told you to. Let them have Senketsu and Junketsu. They are more useful to us alive than dead. Stay here with our new recruits. They will serve us, or they will die. And the only they wanted to die was for my old friend. They will serve us. Humans are so interesting. I now understand what you saw in the Inumutas of Earth-2 and -3."

The Master left through the portal, closing it behind him.


	36. In Which Nui Grows A Spine

Nui and the Song And Dance Man were in her room. She wanted to know more about the Multiverse.

"So, how many universes are there?"

"Including this one, 3. In this Multiverse, anyway. There was an infinite number of universes, but the Master kinda absorbed them. The other Multiverses, in the wider Omniverse, are fine, though. However, even as we speak, new universes are forming in this Multiverse."

"What's Earth-2 like?"

"Well, there are no Life Fibers in that universe. Our servant there is Houka Inumuta, a convicted serial killer."

"Was he that guy I talked to a while ago?"

"Yeah."

"I don't like him."

"Nobody fuckin' likes him, he's a serial killer that eats people."

"Oooohhh~ Anyway, what about Earth-3?"

"Well, it was similar to here, until two years ago, when our servant, another Houka Inumuta, led a bloody revolution against Satsuki Kiryuin. That caused some major differences. The Primordial Life Fiber there didn't get its power from the Master, but it was still very powerful. However, it was a bit weaker than yours, which is how Houka managed to absorb it after becoming a Life Fiber hybrid."

"What about the different versions of me?"

"Earth-2 Nui Harime is the violent split personality of Shinjiro Nagita, also known as Shinjiro Kiryuin."

"What about Earth-3 Nui?"

"Unlike you, she had people who loved her."

"Fuck you."

"I'm serious. While Ragyo probably does think of you as her daughter on some level, considering how she treated her other daughters, that's not very comforting. She mainly considers you as a useful tailor."

"No, she doesn't!"

"'Nui' is Japanese for 'to sew', and 'Harime' is Japanese for 'stitch'. Your fucking NAME is a sick joke. Tell me, do you remember what happened when you died?"

"No."

" **Then let me show you.** "

The Song And Dance Man revealed his face. A long, black tentacle- his tongue- emerged from his mouth and lifted Nui's eyepatch. It entered her eye socket and moved towards her brain.

"Stop! Please! It hurts!"

"The more you struggle, the worse it will get."

It wrapped itself around her brain, causing her to remember repressed memories of the years after her death. She remembered Death Fibers ripping off pieces of her flesh and eating them. Her flesh would then regenerate, and they would eat her again. She remembered the Song And Dance Man ripping out her eyeball. For some reason, it didn't regenerate, and she was once again half-blind. Nui screamed.

The Song And Dance Man removed his tongue.

"W-why...why did you take m-my eye?"

"I have my reasons. Anyway, the point is, Ragyo also experienced, and remembers, all of that. Do you know what her plan is?"

"It was what we did before, but then that...thing..."

"The Master Of Puppets, also known as the Primordial Death Fiber, absorbed the Primordial Life Fiber. He ate your god. Ragyo is crazy, but she isn't stupid. Normally, when someone would disrespect the Primordial Life Fiber, she'd be pissed. But when someone fucking EATS YOUR GOD, well, of course you're gonna join them. Now, her plan is to wear Junketsu, while you wear Senketsu, and then go kill Ryuko, Satsuki, and her other enemies. Originally, she was just gonna send you. Then, she was gonna kill you to power up the Primordial Life Fiber. She was gonna put you through that Hell for eternity. Now, she's gonna help us take over the Multiverse."

"S-she wouldn't..."

"Yes. She would do that to you."

"You're wrong! I'll go ask her myself!"

Nui walked to the back of the building.

"Lady Ragyo~"

"What is it, Nui?"

"In your original plan...would I have died?"

"Of course. You died the first time, why wouldn't you die the second time? And soon, you're going to die to power up the Master."

"B-but I don't wanna die!"

"Why not? It's not as if..." Ragyo paused. "...You remember, don't you?"

"Yes, I fucking remember! You know, when Satsuki tried to keep me away from you, I thought she was just trying to keep me away from someone who loved me! BUT NOW, I SEE THAT SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT ME!"

"I do love you, Nui. You're being ridiculous."

"When's my birthday?"

"...What?"

"When. Is. My. Birthday?

"Uh, well, I-"

" _YESTERDAY!_ **I TURNED 19** ** _YESTERDAY!_** "

Nui started to walk away from Ragyo.

"Where are you going?"

" _ **ANYWHERE BUT HERE!**_ _ **I QUIT!**_ "

Nui stormed out of the factory. She was crying.


	37. The Student Council Meets Jack

It was a bright, sunny morning at the Mankanshoku residence. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and Jack was pointing a shotgun out of the broken window.

"Barazo, there's a giant Black guy out there. Do you want me to shoot him?"

"Jack, that's my daughter's ex-boyfriend."

"So...is that a yes or no?"

"...I'm thinking about it."

"DAD!"

"Okay, fine. Don't shoot him."

Mako opened the door and let in Ira. He was followed by Satsuki, Houka, Uzu, Nonon, Shiro, and Soroi.

"Jesus fuck, Mako, how many people do you know? Also, to everyone who just walked in: STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BOOZE!"

Jack opened up his rib cage (which contained a very small pocket dimension, which was about the size of a bathtub, mostly filled with bottles of alcohol) and placed his shotgun inside.

"Jack, this is Ira Gamagoori, my ex-boyfriend, Satsuki Kiryuin, Ryuko's sister, Nonon Jakuzure, Satsuki's girlfriend, and Houka Inumuta, Uzu Sanageyama, and Shiro Iori, Satsuki's friends. Everyone, this is Jack. He lives with us."

"...Uh, Mako, was he going to shoot me?" asked Ira.

"You're goddamn right I was-" Jack started to say, before Mako interrupted him.

"Of course he wasn't gonna shoot you!"

"Where's his face, Underachiever?" asked Nonon.

"I keep my eyes, nose, and mouth closed. I don't have any ears. I see, smell, taste, talk, and hear through my skin."

"You look like a department store mannequin fucked Jack Skellington."

"Nonon, be nice," said Satsuki.

"And you sound like you got throat-fucked by the entire Wu-Tang Clan."

Houka and Uzu started laughing, and then stopped after Nonon glared at them.

"Jack, be nice!" said Mako.

"How does your biology work?" asked Shiro, "How do you digest your food? I don't see any orifices. Or are you covering those?"

"Well, no, I don't have an asshole, if that's what you're askin'. And my dick's retractable. I don't shit and I don't piss. I throw up sometimes. It's always black, and I'm pretty sure it's mostly blood. I think all of the waste in my body gets converted to sweat."

"What are you made of?"

"No idea. At first, I thought it was the booze that made me forget, but now, it feels more like part of my memory is just, like, not there anymore."

"Interesting," said Houka, "Iori, do you think we could do a DNA analysis?"

"You can try," said Jack, "but I don't have spit, hair, nails, or jizz. And you can't get a blood sample, 'cause nothing can break my skin."

"Hey, guys," said Ryuko, "you should join us for dinner."

Later, everyone (except for Mako, who had gone out to buy beer for Jack, who had given her a fake ID) was eating croquettes in the living room (they didn't have a dining room).

"So, Satsuki, what brings you guys here?" asked Ryuko.

"Inumuta, please show her the picture," said Satsuki.

Inumuta showed Ryuko a picture on his laptop. It was of a dark alleyway in Kanagawa. A homeless-looking woman was in the alleyway.

"An amateur photographer, working with one of Satsuki's new charities, took this photograph. Something about helping the homeless. Anyway, look closer at the woman."

Ryuko looked closer.

"Oh, my fucking God..."

"It appears to be Nui Harime, somehow back from the dead."

"How the Hell is she alive?"

"That's what we need to ask her. If she's still alive, then Ragyo might still be alive. We're dedicating all of our time to finding some answers. Gamagoori quit his job at his uncle's iron works, Satsuki has let Hououmaru take control of making the world a better place, Jakuzure has left control of Jakuzure Corporations to her assistant, I've taken a break from working on my IT degree, Iori has taken a break from working on his astrobiology degree, and Sanageyama has taken a break from whatever it was that he was doing."

"I was selling konjac, practicing kendo, and smoking weed," said Sanageyama.

"I've also brought a large amount of Life Fibers with us, in case we need new Goku Uniforms," said Shiro, "I hope you all appreciate just how rare Life Fibers are these days. You have no idea how much work it was convincing the school to give me them."

"How did you convince them, anyway?" asked Ryuko.

"I bribed them."

The door opened and Mako walked in. She was carrying a bag filled with bottles of beer in one hand, and was dragging a sleeping Nui behind her in her other hand.

"You guys will never guess who I found sleeping in an alley!"


	38. Nui's New Sanity

The morning after Mako had brought Nui home, everyone was watching TV in the living room (Nui and the Student Council had slept on the living room floor). Nui had told them everything that happened after her death and resurrection (and noted that the Death Fibers greatly resembled Jack; Jack replied that the Master Of Puppets did sound a bit familiar).

"Hey, Inumuta," asked Nui, "what was in that drink you gave me a few hours ago?"

"A cocktail of antipsychotics and antidepressants," he replied.

"Thanks. I feel better than I have in years."

"So...we're just gonna let her stay here?" asked Ryuko.

"Don't see why not," said Jack, "You let the fuckin' dictator and her merry band of sociopaths live with us, and Nui, however batshit crazy she might be, has only killed one person. Like, I don't want her here any more than you do, but it just seems a little hypocritical in my opinion."

"Jack, she killed my father."

"Yeah, really sorry about that, Ryuko," said Nui, "If it helps, it wasn't my idea."

"Fuck you."

"Ryuko, may I talk to you in private?" asked Satsuki.

They walked upstairs.

"Look, Ryuko, I don't trust her, either."

"Then why do you insist she stay with us?"

"Nui could be a valuable asset. She might be useful against Ragyo and these Death Fibers."

"How do you even know if she's telling the truth?"

"I don't, but I'm not going to ignore a possible threat to humanity. And...Ryuko, she's still our sister."

"Half-sister."

"Ryuko, you know what it's like to be under Ragyo's influence. If you broke free from it, why can't she?"

"...Fine. She can stay. But I'm not happy about it."

They went back downstairs. Shiro and Jack were having a discussion.

"Why can't we take a blood sample from your vomit?"

"...Y'know, I never thought about that. Get me a bucket and some vodka."

Shiro got him a bucket and some vodka. Jack drank the vodka, and vomited a black liquid into the bucket. Shiro went into the bathroom with the bucket and some lab equipment.

"You guys are disgusting," said Nonon.

"Disgusting, but practical," said Uzu.

About half an hour later, Shiro came back with the results. He was visibly disturbed by something.

"Uh, well, I-I have the results. 95% of Jack's DNA is composed of something resembling blue Life Fibers, likely the Death Fibers that Nui told us about."

"That answers the only question I had about what I am. Master Of Puppets probably erased every memory related to him. Since the little psycho we're lettin' live with us mentioned him, I've been startin' to regain my memories about him."

"So...you already know what the other 5% is?"

"I've always known what the other 5% was." Jack drank the rest of the vodka. "Human. The last 5% is human. My full name is Jackson Elias Blackstone, and I am 118 years old. The Master Of Puppets turned me into this in 1927, and he wiped my memory in 1975. He had a codename for me, too. He called me the Thin White Duke."


	39. In Which Houka Fucks Shit Up

Note: The following chapters are set on Earth-2.

Houka woke up in Honnouji's hospital.

"Nurse? I'm awake," he said.

"Good morning, sir."

"How long was I..."

"24 hours, sir."

"24 hours." Houka smiled. "Then today is Thursday."

"That's right, sir."

His demonic smile grew even larger. "Then it's starting."

"What's starting?"

"The beginning of a new era."

In Probe's basement, a group of police officers were searching for corpses that Houka might have hidden away, when they saw the floor tear open. A large, orange, robotic tentacle, made out of steel, had broke through it. It had a timer on it, reading, "00:10".

Back at the hospital, the nurse continued to question Houka.

"What does that mean?"

"Nurse, I built a machine that will change the world. A factory."

00:09.

Ryuko and Mako were visiting Satsuki and Nonon. Ragyo, who had recently been elected mayor, had realized that if her daughter was going to be in prison, she might as well spend her time there with someone she loved. She pulled some strings and made the warden allow them to share a cell together.

"Hey, Satsuki," said Ryuko.

"Hey, Ryuko. How are things with you and Mako?"

"We're fine," Mako said, cheerfully, "We were on our way home buying dog food for Guts, and I suggested that we visit you guys. So, we went home, fed Guts, and came here!"

"Thanks for visiting, guys," said Nonon.

"So, how are things with you two?" asked Ryuko.

"We're great. Honestly, we've never been better."

00:08.

Tsumugu had been arrested for the murders of several criminals and was being brought into the prison. Ragyo had pulled a few more strings, and had made it possible for him to avoid the death penalty, in exchange for life in prison.

"I'll burn this place to the fuckin' ground!" he said, angrily, "I swear to fuckin' God, when I get outta here, THIS HELLHOLE IS GOIN' UP IN FUCKIN' FLAMES!"

00:07.

Shiro was in a quarantined area of the prison hospital. All of his limbs had to be amputated to prevent further infection. The mad scientist, who the media referred to as "Agent Orange" because of his signature translucent orange gas mask, was slowly going insane from not being able to move.

00:06.

Ragyo and Rei were visiting Nui. She had allowed them to talk to Shinjiro for a few minutes, then refused to let him speak to them aside from the occasional threat.

00:05.

The Song And Dance Man was eating popcorn back on Earth-1, watching the countdown through a portal. He was thinking of shooting Ryuko's team when they inevitably arrived to fight him and Ragyo. It had been so long since he had used a gun.

00:04.

"You see, nurse, my machine is a factory for nanomachines. They're so small, they can pass through cracks in walls. And this prison has a lot of cracks, doesn't it, nurse?"

00:03.

"They're going to move towards and affect everyone in this building. Except for Satsuki Kiryuin. I'm going to kill her."

00:02.

"Do you want to know what I called my machine, nurse?"

00:01.

"I named it the Primordial Life Fiber."

00:00.

The Primordial Life Fiber exploded.


	40. (In)Justice League

5 hours after the PLF exploded and Honnouji Academy was flooded with Houka's Life Fiber nanomachines, Houka walked into the dead warden's office (the Life Fibers were programmed to kill all prison staff). He had killed Satsuki with a scalpel from the prison hospital. Her body was in a freezer (in case Houka wanted to eat her later). He had recruited Nonon by threatening her family. Ryuko, Mako, Rei, Ragyo, and Tsumugu were being kept in medically induced comas. He went on the warden's computer (and noted to himself that "PASSWORD1" wasn't a good password) and typed up files on everyone affected by the nanomachines:

Doctor Houka Inumuta:

Natural physical abilities increased by 30%; intelligence increased by 30%; invisibility (note: "Optical Camouflage" sounds better); technopathy (note: remember that next time you hack into a computer); pyrokinesis; electrokinesis; senses enhanced by 30%.

Uzu Sanageyama:

Natural physical abilities increased by 30% (note: this does not apply to strength and speed, which are enhanced by 90%); fingernails and finger bones can extend and combine to form "swords"; sight enhanced by 90%; a form of precognition focusing on the opponent's preparatory motions; illusion creation (note: illusions are usually highly disturbing as a result of Uzu's insanity and substance abuse); the ability to dislocate his wrists and spin them at high speeds; eye sockets contain small pocket dimensions.

Ira Gamagoori:

Natural physical abilities increased by 30% (note: strength is increased by 90%); size changing; physical pain inflicted onto Ira increases his strength; veins, arteries, and capillaries can be used as "whips" or as a "noose" (note: these can be combined with bone "spikes"); can transform physical pain into an offensive energy field; can transform bones into "chakrams"; hand bones can be transformed into an "iron maiden".

Nonon Jakuzure (note: NOT to be trusted):

Natural physical abilities increased by 30%; force-field generation; sonic scream (note: her fucking voice pissed me off so much that I mutilated her vocal cords with the scalpel I used to kill that bitch Satsuki, so now the only noise she can make is screaming); bones can be transformed into bladed "musical notes", "buzzsaws", or "rockets"; flight; lasers; can generate immobilizing sound waves.

Doctor Shiro Iori:

Natural physical abilities increased by 30; damaged or lost flesh and limbs have been replaced by translucent orange artificial flesh/limbs made from Life Fibers (note: Shiro has created a translucent orange gas mask, resembling a plague doctor's mask, from Life Fibers because it "looked cool"); can create translucent orange Life Fiber "tentacles"; can generate various toxins, bacteria, viruses, and fungi.

Other Life Fiber "hybrids" to be added later; coma hybrids to be awakened and studied later (note: because of the large Life Fiber I implanted into Ryuko's brain when I tortured her, she is potentially very powerful, however, if the Fresh Blood brainwashing program does not activate, she could be very dangerous).

Houka turned on the warden's microphone.

"My friends, this is the beginning of a new era! The era of the Life Fiber hybrids! We will take over this city, and Honnouji Penitentiary will be our city hall! Of course, you will be contained here for some time. I don't trust you all enough not to destroy my city. The police will not enter this building, as the Life Fibers have created a shield around it. Nobody can get in or out. I have been contacted and recruited by entities known as the Death Fibers. Uzu Sanageyama, my second-in-command, has encountered them before. With the help of them, we will not only rule this city, but perhaps this entire world, and ALL OTHER WORLDS! **WE WILL BE GODS!** "

He stepped outside the office, where Uzu, Ira, Nonon, and Shiro, his "Elite Four" were waiting for him. The Song And Dance Man was standing beside them. He created a portal, and they all disappeared.


	41. Kill La Yuri

Note: The following is a crossover with Yuru Yuri. Yes, seriously.

"...And THAT'S why I hated Smallville," said Doctor Inumuta as he, the Song And Dance Man, and the Elite Four stepped out of the portal, "You know, I heard that they cast Lana before they cast Clark. Now, on to Arrow...wait, where are we?"

"Well," said the Song And Dance Man, "we traveled not only from Earth-2, but out of your entire Multiverse, the KLK Multiverse. We've traveled to Earth-1 of the YY Multiverse. We are the first explorers of the Omniverse! Others have only seen the Omniverse, but we've actually ventured into it! I claim this universe in the name of the Master Of Puppets, Earth-1, the KLK Multiverse, and the United States Of America, in order from greatest importance to least importance!"

"And why are we here?"

"Well, the Master wants us to conquer other Multiverses while he conquers your Multiverse."

"...Okay, be honest with me. Are you and the Master just making this up as you go along?"

"...Maybe. Now, how should we begin our conquest?"

"There's a school around here."

"How the fuck do you know that?" asked Ira.

"I smell the blood of many children," said Houka.

"LET'S TERRORIZE SOME KIDS!" cheerfully shouted Uzu.

"'Sure, why not?" said the Song And Dance Man, "Gotta start somewhere."

They walked towards Nanamori Middle School. Houka ordered Nonon to create a force-field to keep out the police. They walked into the school, interrupted Nana Nishigaki's class, and Ira used his veins to restrain her and the children. Shiro went into the other rooms and used his tentacles to restrain everyone in the school, and dragged them into the large classroom. He also noted that this was a rather small school compared to his universe's schools.

"Alright, kids!" said Houka, "I think we'll torture you before we kill you. Song And Dance Man, do you have any files on this universe?"

"You know it, bitch," he said as he handed Houka some files, "The Master gave me files on the entire Omniverse."

"Alright, let's see...Akari Akaza, let's start with you."

"M-me?"

"Yes, you. Let's talk about you, 'Akariiiin'. You're...huh."

"W-what is it?"

"Well, there's not much here. You're 13 years old, you're a nice person, and...that's it. You're not very important to this universe. You're probably not important to anyone."

"I-I'm important to my friends and family!"

"Oh, I'm sure you are...when they bother to notice you. You're just so...insignificant. Uninteresting. You don't have any presence. Nobody cares about you."

"Nobody cares about gnomes," said Uzu.

"...Uzu, these are children."

"GNOME children, probably."

"Uzu, what exactly are you drinking?"

"A combination of rubbing alcohol, coffee-machine descaler, and a bit of shit I found drippin' out the back of the AC unit."

"...Anyway, let's move on. Kyouko Toshinou-"

Kyouko spit in his face.

"YOU FUCKING CUNT! I'LL FUCKING SKIN YOU ALIVE!" screamed Houka, as fire and electricity erupted out of his hands.

"Hey! You leave Kyouko alone!" shouted Ayano.

"You usually say my full name."

"Well, you aren't usually threatened by a superhuman psychopath."

"Good point. I guess you really do like me."

"Now is not the time to talk about your feelings for each other," said Yui.

"Where were you guys when he was laying into me?!" asked Akari.

"I blame Himawari's breasts for this," said Sakurako.

"That doesn't even make sense!" said Himawari.

"SHUT UP!" shouted Houka, "YOUR GODDAMN VOICES ARE OVERWHELMING MY EARS! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

As this was happening, Nonon realized that all the talking was overloading Houka's superhuman hearing. Wanting to save the children, Nonon screamed.

" **FUCK!** ** _NONON, I'LL GUT YOU, YOU BITCH!_** "

"Actually," said the Song And Dance Man, "I just received a telepathic transmission from the Master. He changed his mind. Apparently, superhumans fighting unarmed children is boring. He wants us on Earth-1 in your Multiverse. Sorry for wastin' your time, guys. I hope we see each other later, kids!"

He created a portal, and went into it, followed by Uzu, Shiro, Ira, a very happy Nonon, and a very unhappy Houka.

"Well," said Sakurako, "that was convenient."

"Actually," said Nishigaki, "while the big guy restrained me, he accidentally left my hands free. When they started talking about universes, I realized they must not be from our universe. While they were focused on the masked man's outburst, I used an experimental telepathic transmission device that I built earlier and left in my pocket to send him a fake transmission from this 'Master' he mentioned. I call it the Deus Ex Machina Device."

She pulled a small, white, rectangular object out of her pocket.

"So," said Himawari, "you finally created something that doesn't-"

Nishigaki threw the device on the ground, where it detonated, creating a very small explosion.

"...Never mind."

Note: Well, that concludes...whatever that was. I'm not really sure why I wrote that. I wonder if I'll ever get a TVTropes page.


	42. Guess Who's Back (Back Again)

The students were thanking Nishigaki for saving them. They were interrupted by the portal reappearing and voice coming from it:

"That's why they call me Slim Shady, I'm back

I'm back, I'm back

I'm back, Slim Shady!~"

The Song And Dance Man twirled through the portal.

"Oh my God, we're back again!~"

"This guy again?!" exclaimed Kyouko.

He sprouted tentacles from his back and tied up everyone in the room. He leaned in close to Nishigaki and stroked her cheek.

" **I know about your little trick.** You've made me VERY angry. Up until now, I've been all relaxed and cheerful. But I'm not gonna be your friendly neighborhood Song And Dance Man today."

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" shouted Rise.

"And I thought you were the quiet one. Anyway, I got the Insidious Five with me! That's what I named them. I think it's cool."

Houka stepped through the portal.

"...Where's the junkie? Where's the mute bitch? Where's the orange guy? AND WHERE'S YOUR NIGGER, BOY?!"

"I don't know. We got separated somehow."

"I guess it doesn't really matter right now. We'll find them later. All I need now is you~"

He turned back towards the students.

"Doctor Inumuta here is gonna psychologically break you before I **literally** break you!~"

Houka walked towards Akari.

"Hello again, Akariiiin." The tone in his voice was mocking and cruel. "We didn't get to talk much earlier, but that's because I really couldn't think of anything interesting about you. You're just so insignificant! Nobody cares about you, you don't have any real friends."

"Yes, I do!"

"Oh, do you? They don't even notice you're there half the time! If they were really your friends, don't you think they'd at least acknowledge you?"

"I...uh, I-I mean...I guess..."

He walked over to Kyouko.

"How are you today, you annoying little brat? I really wonder how anyone can stand to be around you. Do you know what I think? I think all of your 'friends' hate you and they just don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you."

"Go to Hell."

Houka slapped her across the face. He was holding back, so he only left a light red mark instead of breaking her skull. He didn't want to kill her just yet.

"KYOUKO!" shouted Yui and Ayano.

"You're never serious. Yui and Ayano are quite serious people, according to my file. They must hate you the most. And speaking of Yui..."

"YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!" shouted Chinatsu.

"I'll get to you in a minute. Anyway, Yui. Let's talk."

"You son of a bitch."

"Oh, Yui. Always there with a witty retort. And be careful what you say to me. The last whore who called me that ended up being unable to talk. So you live by yourself?"

"That's right."

"Why? Because you're mature? Is that what your parents told you?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Tell me, did your parents have you when they were young?"

"I guess. Why?"

"Maybe they weren't ready for a baby. You know what I think, Yui? I think your parents absolutely despise you."

"W-what? That's not true."

"I think it is. Why else would they send you off by yourself? They didn't want another mouth to feed!"

"I-I..."

"You know I'm right, Yui. I'm **always** right. And then there was Chinatsu..."

"I'll fucking kill you!"

"Big talk from a little girl. But I can tell you mean it. I've seen some of your artwork, by the way."

"Let me guess, you think it's hideous and you're gonna try to use that to crush my self-esteem?"

"Actually, I think it's quite beautiful."

"Y...you do?"

"Yes, it's amazing. You have some darkness inside you, Chinatsu. You remind me of myself when I was a child."

"I'm not like you! You're a monster!"

"Oh, Chinatsu." Houka laughed and removed his mask. "Do I look like a monster?"

"W-what happened to you?"

"I chewed off my lips in prison. When I was 8 years old, I was walking home alone from school. I didn't have many friends growing up. It's not that I was bullied or anything, the other children liked me. It's just that I didn't like them. They were stupid and weak. I liked reading, they liked sports. I didn't want to waste my time with them. Anyway, I was walking home when this rabid Doberman tackled me and started biting my face. I cried out for my parents. I was such a goddamn pussy. They came out of the house and my father, who was a police officer, shot the dog and killed it. Dad's retired now. My mother was a housewife. Sometimes, I wonder what they think of me."

"They probably hate you," said Kyouko. Houka punched her in the face. He held back a little less this time, giving her a black eye.

"You just don't know when to keep your **FUCKING MOUTH SHUT, DO YOU?!** Anyway, back to my story. The dog had bitten off my lips. My father recovered them from the dead dog's mouth and brought me to a hospital. Thank God I was vaccinated against rabies. They managed to sew my lips back on. The stitches were removed after about a week. My scars healed up nicely, and nobody could tell I was even attacked."

"Were you scared of dogs after that?"

"Oddly enough, no. If anything, I was intrigued by them. I began to see them as powerful cr Anyeatures that could kill their prey in an instant. I guess that's why I liked what the media called me, 'Hellhound'. You know, the first sign of being a potential serial killer is cruelty to animals, but I've never once hurt an animal. Not out of any moral reason - except for dogs, of course, I like dogs -, but because it just didn't seem fun. I decided they wouldn't be smart enough to comprehend the horror of being tortured. It would have been boring to kill them. I think about that day sometimes. I wonder if it never happened, things would have been...different for me. I know I was vaccinated, but I can't help but wonder if that dog's rabies affected my brain somehow. Or maybe I was just born evil. But what even is 'evil', anyway? Is there certain criteria for being judged an evil person? Can any one person define such an abstract concept?" Houka paused for a moment. "Song And Dance Man, please take Chinatsu to another room."

"Why?"

"It's a _surprise_ ," said Houka, who was smiling.

"...Okay, that's fair." The Song And Dance Man used the tentacle that was tying up Chinatsu to bring her to a room across the hallway. Houka started reading through some files.

"Now, let's see...Ayano. Not really much to go on besides your lack of social skills. Chitose...oh, this looks fun. Chitose, imagine Ayano and Kyouko together. Just doing anything at all."

Chitose's nose started to bleed.

"There it is."

The Song And Dance Man stretched out his neck and poked his head into the room Chinatsu was in.

"Please don't hurt my friends," she said.

"Friends aren't good for anything. I learned that the hard way."

"How?"

"You really wanna know? Alright, then. I'll tell you a story. It's about two friends named Jack and John who went to war and fought for their country. They met after they were deployed in a godforsaken hellhole called Vietnam. They liked the same music, the same movies, stuff like that. They were the best of friends...until one day. Tell me, Chinatsu, have you ever heard of a place called My Lai?"

"I heard about it in History class."

"A lot of civilians were killed in My Lai. John decided to get in on the action and do some killing. They were there to kill gooks anyway, right? Who cares if it's a soldier or a pregnant woman? But then Jack walked in on John and ruined his fun. Jack was gonna kill John. But Jack was out of bullets. That's when John learned something about Jack. You see, Jack was different than most people. He had...certain abilities. He ripped off one of his fingers, molded it into the shape of a bullet, put it in his gun, and shot John in the head. Jack reattached his finger and took the woman somewhere safe. And John died, murdered by his best friend. Or so he thought. John saw a white light. He saw the Master Of Puppets. The Master said that he decided that Jack wasn't the right person to work for him. And he brought back John with powers beyond his wildest dreams! Happy ending! Except...there was something changed about John. John learned two things that day. He learned that anyone, even your best friend, can turn on you in a second. And he also learned something else."

The Song And Dance Man took off his hat, revealing a small hole in his forehead.

"You can never heal a wound from a Death Fiber's attack."


	43. Yes, He Can Think

Note: The following chapter is set on Earth-1.

The prisoner thought to himself, "At least this is better than death."

He looked at this restraints.

"Well, slightly better."

He looked up at the security camera watching him.

"You're the only one I have to talk to. My feelings haven't changed, I'm still angry. Very angry. I've been angry for years now."

He sighed.

"Even if I weren't restrained, I wouldn't be able to act on my anger. I've been...I suppose 'brainwashed' is a good way to put it. Or 'lobotomized'. No, maybe not that. I can still think and feel, I just can't DO anything. I hate this. I hate it so much.

I know you can't hear me. I don't care. I NEED to talk to someone. Maybe I should tell you my life story. Yes, that should be therapeutic.

I'm twenty years old, for starters. Including the time I was...well, you know. Let's just say 'not here'.

When I was born, I was...tortured? Maybe that's the right word to use. Not physically, I was never attacked. I was locked away in a dark, dark place. All by myself. I was starving. Oh, I'm from Japan, by the way. First in my family to be born here.

I know I went insane sometime during my imprisonment. I mean, of course I did. How could I have not? I started hearing a voice. A voice that was so close, and yet so far away. It told me that I was its descendant, and that my imprisonment would end soon. It told me that I would soon fulfill my purpose, and that I would finally eat something.

I can go a very long time without eating. Runs in the family. Anyway- what's that, Mr. Security Camera? Oh, no, I didn't know I was insane when I heard the voice. In fact, I was completely sane and everyone else in the world was insane.

If I'm being honest with you, Mr. Security Camera, I don't actually know the difference between sanity and insanity. I'm just assuming that I'm insane. Anyway, as I was just about to say, I think that was God's voice. It certainly felt like God.

After what I believed to be my eleven billionth year of imprisonment, I was released. Turns out it was actually my eighteenth year. Time is strange when you're sane and/or insane.

I immediately started feeding on the thing that released me. I say 'thing' because...well, it certainly wasn't what I was. It was...how can I even describe it?

I guess I should start by saying its face was very strange. It looked like it was stretched out. It didn't have a mouth. It had eyes, but they were much too large. It was only later that I found out it wasn't its face at all. What I thought were eyes were actually things used to feed the young of the creature's species. This creature didn't have any children, though.

It had four arms. Two of them were where they were supposed to be, and the other two where connected to the bottom of what I thought was its face. Each arm had appendages that looked like very small arms on the ends of them. The top arms' appendages appeared to be for grasping or manipulating objects, while the bottom arms' appendages appeared to be to help the creature walk.

On top of the face that wasn't its face was a small, thick arm. Although, now that I give it some thought, it probably wasn't an arm. It was too small to be an arm. Anyway, whatever it was, it was connected to a small, sphere-like appendage. Well, not 'small', but it wasn't very big. There was...something on the back of the appendage. Tentacles, maybe? I'm still not really sure. On that appendage was the creature's actual face.

Its eyes and mouth were in the right places, but they were very small. It also had decently-sized eyebrows. There was a small appendage between the eyes and the mouth. Apparently, it helps the creatures to breath.

Oh, yes, I said 'creatures'. I've seen many of them. All different shapes and sizes, but most follow the same basic anatomy.

There was this one creature, this one fucking bitch- excuse my language, Mr. Security Camera. Anyway, this creature was the other creature's parent. This one was...different. It was actually a lot like me. Not externally, of course, but it could do things that I could do.

There was another one. This one, however...I feel sick just thinking about it.

It was insane, that much was obvious. Or maybe it was sane and all the other members of it species were insane. It was apparently the child of that bitch I just mentioned, making it the other creature's sibling.

Anyway- and yes, I know I'm saying that word a lot- the creature had a facial injury. One of its eyes was missing. The worst part about it was that it was actually a hybrid between our two species.

It wasn't naturally born, its parent created it. It was an abomination.

Anyway, back to the story of my freedom. As I fed on the creature, I kept noticing that I couldn't find its brain. It turns out that its brain was actually in the appendage with its face on it, which is NOT where it's supposed to be.

It was just so confusing. There was just too much of everything. The creature was too big.

I felt absolutely sick. I was feeding on sentient cancer.

The creature overpowered me and used me to fight another member of my kind- apparently, a relative of mine. He was the first thing I'd ever seen that was like me. Only...there was something wrong with him.

I'm not sure how to explain this. He LOOKED completely normal, but...well, have you ever heard of the uncanny valley? That's what I felt. He was strong, very strong, as was the creature he was feeding on. The worst part is that he seemed to actually LIKE his creature. I later found out that he was actually infused with the DNA of his creature when he was born. Another abomination.

Interestingly- and horrifically- his creature was also an abomination. Not nearly to the extent of the bitch or the one-eyed creature, but still, and abomination. I think my creature was also an abomination, but it never showed any abilities that weren't natural for its kind. There was another abomination who wasn't related to the others. It appeared to be subservient to the bitch.

Eventually, I became an abomination. I was infused with my 'relative's' DNA. I could no longer fight back against the creatures.

Then I was murdered. I was fed to him, along with other members of my kind. Other relatives.

When I awoke, I saw that...look, I know I said the others were abominations, but this thing was an ABOMINATION. You've seen it too, so I don't have to describe it. It was feeding on me. The irony did not evade me. I also saw the bitch, the one-eyed creature, and my 'relative'. The worst part is that I saw God. He was being eaten, too.

Two years later, I awoke here. I was surrounded by God, my 'relative', the one-eyed creature, the bitch, and the thing that ate me. Something else appeared. I think it was the Devil. Then it killed God.

The one-eyed creature ran off to God knows where. The bitch and the thing that ate me are working together. My 'relative' is in the other room, also being imprisoned.

And that's my whole life story. I hope you enjoyed it, Mr. Security Camera.

Oh, how rude of me. I didn't even tell you my name!

I'm Junketsu."

Author's Note: Twist Ending!~ And finally, a return to Earth-1!~ And I'm doing an AMA if anyone's intereseted!~ Also, I'm gonna be adding character bios from now on:~

Name: Ryuko Matoi/Ryuko Kiryuin (Earth-1)

Age: 19

Species: Life Fiber-Infused Human (50%)

Race: Japanese

Sexuality: Homo

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral - Chaotic Good

Born on April 4th, 1997, Ryuko is tough, stubborn, and fearless. While originally only motivated by her father's death, she eventually became the heroine that saved the world. Ryuko considers Senketsu to be her closest friend, and will do anything to get him back. She loves Mako more than anyone else in the world. She views the Mankanshokus as a surrogate family. She thinks that Satsuki is the best sister she could ever ask for. She considers Uzu a friend. While initially considering Ira to be a romantic rival, she has since come to think of him as a friend. She thinks that Shiro and Houka, while a bit nerdy and occasionally self-centered, are mostly good friends. She has a friendly rivalry with Nonon for Satsuki's attention. She considers Jack to be an alright guy. While she still dislikes Nui -though, no longer to the point of hatred, more like an annoyance- she is slowly starting to warm up to her. She considers Ragyo to be the worst person she's ever met. She often forgets that Soroi also lives in the house, but still thinks he's a good butler.


	44. Back To Prison

Note: The following chapter is set on Earth-2.

Mako woke up in one of Honnouji's hospital rooms. Tsumugu was in the bed next to her, starting to wake up.

"Where am I?" she asked, before realizing something. "Shit! RYUKO?!" she called out.

"You mean Ryuko Matoi?" asked Tsumugu. "I'm...let's just say an 'associate' of her mother."

"Yeah, I heard about you. You're that vigilante that saved Ryuko, Satsuki, and Shinjiro when they were kids. That was pretty badass."

"Thanks. Anyway, before you ask, I dunno where she is."

"What happened to us?"

"Well, last thing I remember is this bright flash of light, and then I blacked out. Maybe someone drugged us. You got any enemies, kid?"

"Well, there's my brother and Inumuta."

"Yeah, I heard about your brother. Mataro Mankanshoku, right?"

"Yes. I'm Doctor Mako Mankanshoku."

"Nice to meet you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I lost my sister a few years back."

"Damn. That's awful."

"Yeah. Worst day of my life. But I'm startin' to think after today, it might be my second-worst."

"Why?"

"Look around you. No doctors, no nurses, nothin'. The drugs must've worked their way through our bodies, and with nobody to give us more..."

"...They wore off. That's why we woke up. And since there's no staff, that probably means that the inmates killed them."

"Which means that they escaped and could still be in the prison."

"Holy shit. Look outside!"

They looked through one of the windows of the room. Surrounding the prison was a large, translucent orange wall. Mako could see every police car in the city parked outside of it. She also saw several cops, including Aikuro and Isshin.

"If there's a wall, then it's likely nobody escaped," said Mako.

"So they're still here."

"Probably. What do you think happened?"

"I dunno. There's a computer on that desk over there. Maybe there's something about it on the news."

Mako went over to the computer, guessed the password, noted that "PASSWORD1" wasn't a good password, and saw that there was no Internet connection. However, a folder was open.

"Come see this. What are Life Fibers?"

"No idea."

"Alright, let me see. This thing seems to be updating its files automatically somehow. It appears that Life Fibers are nanomachines that Inumuta built which are capable of affecting human DNA. It seems that there are five people who had their DNA enhanced by 30% - Inumuta, Sanageyama, Kane, Nonon, and Iori -, eighteen enhanced by 20% - Fukuroda, Hakodate, Ogure, Fuguhara, Okurahama, that biologist guy that experimented on the homeless, Watari, Naito, Kagero, Otte, Yaguruma, Uwabami, the Toukis, Todoroki, you, and me -, and an unknown number enhanced by 10%."

"So, lemme get this straight: the most powerful people here are a serial killer, a drug-addicted Nazi, Satanist, KKK member, the city's most dangerous gang leader, a thief, and a guy who made a super-virus that I'm fairly certain defies the laws of nature. After that, there's two armed robbers, a paranoid drug dealer, a methhead arsonist, an attempted murderer and thief, a guy who might as well be Mengele II, three drug-addicted bank robbers, a mugger, two more drug dealers, three drug-dealing brothers, a weapons dealer, and us. And after that, there's God knows how many people."

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. There are some other files that I can't access. Something about three 'experimental' subjects. There's also something about brainwashing programs: 'Lab Rat', 'Lash', 'Politik', 'Armory', and 'Danger Zone'. And there's another folder, 'Twisted Sister', that I can't access. I'm not the best with computers, but I'll keep trying."

"Alright, doc. I'll make sure nobody walks in here and tries to kill us. Somethin' tells me that we're not the kinda people who'd join Inumuta willingly, and I think he'd send some people to make sure we weren't awake."

"So at least two of those programs were meant for us."

"Makes sense. By the way, do we get any powers?"

"Yeah. Our physical abilities are increased by 20%, except for my strength, which is increased by 50%. I can create a ton of weapons and armor out of my bones...which I really hope I don't end up doing, because that sounds like it hurts a lot."

"Judging from that, I'd say you're 'Armory'."

"Probably. You can create small projectiles out of your finger bones and generate smoke as a distraction. Since you've dedicated your life to wiping out crime, I'd say you're 'Danger Zone'."

"Could be that the other three are the experimental subjects."

"Ryuko did say that her mother and Shinjiro's friend, Rei, were visiting him."

"So Inumuta wants control of a complete lunatic - no offense."

"None taken."

"And he also wants control of the mayor - who must be 'Politik' - and...a hotel manager? Why her?"

"Wrong place, wrong time. Just an extra person to play God with."

"What about the other folder? 'Twisted Sister'?"

"...Oh, shit. Ryuko and Satsuki would never join Inumuta willingly!"

"Then that folder must be about them. Damn. We gotta save them."

"And Nonon. She'd never join Inumuta by herself...but since she's not one of the brainwashed subjects, he must be using something else to keep her in line. Maybe he's threatening her family."

"How? There's no way to communicate with the outside except by one of the phones downstairs, and no criminal outside this prison wants to be associated with Inumuta."

"Because he's a serial killer?"

"No, because he fucked up and got caught. Well, from their point of view, anyway. He probably got caught on purpose so he'd get powers."

"But why did he break out just so he could torture Ryuko for a few hours and then go back?"

"Maybe that's when he started the brainwashing on her. He had to have built prototypes for these Life Fibers. He must've used one on her."

"Then she could already be under his control."

"And didn't he once interview Mataro?"

"Yeah, he did. What if he recruited him then? He could be one of the people who were affected by 10%."

"At least he's a weak one. Probably won't give us too much trouble."

"You ready to go kick some ass?"

Tsumugu smiled. "Doc, there're two things you need to know: I've been kickin' ass for years, and I ain't plannin' on stoppin' now!"

Author's note: Finally, back to Earth-2!~ If you have any questions, just ask!~ Reviews are always appreciated!~ I wonder if someone's made a TVTropes page for this yet~


	45. All I Want For Christmas (Is Senketsu)

Note: The following chapter is set on Earth-1.

Ryuko was in her room watching TV. Nui walked in.

"Hey, Ryuko."

"What do you fucking want?"

"I know you're still mad at me. You have every right to hate me."

"I don't hate you, Nui. Not anymore. I just don't like you."

"Okay, well...I wanna ask you something."

"What?"

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Ryuko glared at her.

"What do I want for Christmas?"

"Well, yeah, 'cause it's almost Christmas."

"I've learned that not only has my best friend has been tortured in some kind of Life Fiber Hell for the past two years, he's now been held captive for over a month by fucking Ragyo and that other psycho freak she has with her- who, by the way, has the power to burn Life Fibers just by touching them -, and you're here asking me what I want for Christmas?"

"W-well...yeah. It's just really important to me."

"Why?"

"Well...I've never celebrated Christmas before."

Ryuko looked at her in confusion. "You haven't?"

"No, Ragyo didn't think it was important. I've been reading about it, I've watched all the TV specials and movies, and I've listened to all the songs. So what do you want for Christmas?"

"The only thing I want for Christmas is Senketsu. Now fuck off."

Nui walked out of the room and into the hallway. Mako was sitting on the couch.

"Hi, Nui. Is Ryuko feeling better?"

"No, she's still upset about Senketsu. And me."

"Don't worry, she'll warm up to you eventually!" said Mako cheerfully.

"Mako, why did you bring me here? You could've just let me die in the street."

"I brought you here because I know you're not really a bad person. I felt bad for you, and I wanted to see if you and everyone else can be friends."

"...Didn't I try to kill you once or twice?"

"You've tried to kill all of us."

"That really doesn't make it any better."

"You also used to hate me a lot, but now you seem to like me."

"I guess that's...a little better? Honestly, I think I just hated you because...well, because I was jealous of you. I mean, you're poor as hell, but you have everything you want. You have Ryuko, you have a family that loves you, you have friends...I don't have anything."

"Well, I'm your friend! And Satsuki's your family!"

"Yeah, she's been the only good part about all this. Y'know, when we were kids, we used to hang out all the time. But then Ragyo, she..." Nui started to cry.

"It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it."

"Thanks, Mako. I'm gonna go see how Satsuki's doing."

In the kitchen, Satsuki and the Student Council were going over their plan for attacking Ragyo's hideout. Shiro had recreated their Three-Star Goku Uniforms.

"After studying the sample from Jack, I've concluded that none of our weapons will be useful against Death Fibers," said Shiro.

"...Seriously?!" said Nonon. "A month of research and that's your result?!"

"Also, I've taken blood samples of each of you-"

"When did you do that?!"

"While you were sleeping. Anyway, it seems that prolonged exposure to Life Fibers has altered our DNA slightly, maybe by around 0.3%. It would explain Nonon's Sound Negation ability. It has also increased Houka's intelligence slightly, slightly increased growth in Uzu's leg muscles, increased growth in Ira's upper body muscles, and has strengthened the part of my brain responsible for actions that require hand-eye coordination, such as sewing."

"So Nonon gets superpowers, and the rest of us get bigger brains and muscles?" asked Uzu.

"You know what? I'm fine with this," said Houka. "I mean, I can't get any angrier after the flying tank thing."

"Oh, here we go again with the fucking flying tank," said Nonon.

"Will you idiots shut up?! Lady Satsuki is trying to think!" said Ira.

Nui walked in.

"Satsuki, have you figured anything out yet?"

"No, not yet. I just can't figure out how to defeat Ragyo and the Song And Dance Man and retrieve Senketsu and Junketsu at the same time."

"Well, does it have to be at the same time? Can't we just get the Kamuis now and fight the bad guys later?"

"I've considered that, but we still don't know the Song And Dance Man's full capabilities. And you know as well as the rest of us how powerful Ragyo is."

"What if we send one of my clones?"

"Well...actually, that might work."

"Really? You think it would?"

"If we send one of your clones to retrieve the Kamui and it fails, nobody gets hurt. And we can always just send another one."

"Alright, let's do it! Mon-Mignon Pret-a-Porter!"

Nui created a clone of herself, who walked out of the house. A few hours later in the factory, Senketsu was trying to figure out how to escape.

"Dammit! I can't get out of these restraints, I've never gonna get out of here, and I'll never see Ryuko again! Can this get any worse?!"

Nui's clone walked in. Ragyo was distracted by her research.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

"This cannot end well, Mr. Security Camera," said Junketsu.

Nui's clone carefully picked up both of them while the two Kamuis protested silently. She also grabbed the security camera, which had been Nui's only friend before she ran away.

Hours later, Nui's clone came home. Ryuko was in her room when there was a knock at the door.

"Go away, Nui."

Nui knocked again.

"I said piss off!"

She knocked a third time.

"Dammit! Don't you know when you're not wanted?!" she said, opening the door. Senketsu jumped on her. Nui was standing in the doorway.

"S..Senketsu?!"

"Nui brought me here! And she brought Junketsu...and a security camera, for some reason."

"Nui...you saved Senketsu?"

"Yes~"

"I..Nui, I-I don't know what to say." Ryuko smiled and hugged her. "Thank you, Nui. You're a good sister. And a good friend."

In the living room, Mako was thinking about something. Nonon walked in.

"Hey, Underachiever, what are you doing?"

"I'm thinking."

"That can't be good."

"Something's missing...but I don't know what."

"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen our alcoholic monster anywhere."

"That's it! Jack's missing!"

"Maybe he's getting drunk in the basement."

Mako got up and knocked on the basement door.

"Jack? Are you in there?"

"Yeah, I'm down here. I'll be up in a second."

Jack was sitting in the basement. He had regained all of his memories, including ones that he tried to forget. He opened up his chest and pulled out a ring.

"I miss you, Rebecca."

Jack had built new rooms for the house upstairs: one for Satsuki and Nonon, one for Uzu, one for Soroi, one for Houka, one for Shiro, one for Ira, and one for Nui. He had also built a guest room, in case anyone else showed up. Houka was in his bathroom, connected to his room. He had just gotten out of the shower, and was absentmindedly singing while looking in the mirror:

"Never made it up to Minnesota.

North Dakota man was a gunnin' for the quota.

Down in the Badlands,

she was saving the best for last."

He smiled and touched his lips. The scars had healed so nicely.

"It only hurts when I laugh.

Gone too fast.

California, rest in peace.

Simultaneous release."

Houka loved his smile. He thought his sharp teeth looked intimidating.

"California, show your teeth.

She's my priestess."

He pulled a comb out of a drawer. He combed his hair and put the comb back where it belonged, next to his mask.

"I'm your priest."

He was interrupted by a crash from downstairs. A portal had opened above the house, and the Nonon from Earth-2 had fallen through the ceiling.

Note: You guys probably have a lot of questions~ Like, "How are there two Hellhounds?", "Where's the real Houka?", "'Who's Rebecca?", and, "Why doesn't this have a TVTropes page yet?"~

Also, new character bio!:~

Name: Mako Mankanshoku (Earth-1)

Age: 19

Species: Human (however, bloodline has high Life Fiber sensitivity)

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Bi

Alignment: Neutral Good

Born on May 17, 1997, Mako might not be the most intelligent person in the world, but she is one of the nicest. She would do anything to protect her friends and loved ones. However, her niceness and willingness to help others can be used against her. She loves Ryuko more than anyone else, with her family coming in as a close second. Ira is her ex-boyfriend and closest friend. She considers the other people in the house to be her friends. The only person she doesn't like is Ragyo.


	46. KLKYY Part 3: The Offer

Note: The following chapter is set on Earth-YY-1.

"Well, there you have it, kid. The secret origin of the Song And Dance Man. Well, most of it, anyway."

"W-what are you gonna do to Yui?"

"Oh, you'll see. In fact, I'll show you right now!"

The Song And Dance Man released the others. He swiftly extended his neck into the other room.

"Alright, kids!~ Me and the doc are gonna give you all an hour to run. When we catch you, we kill you! Sound like fun?"

"This could be amusing," said Houka.

"I know it is, shut up. Okay, ready...GO!"

The girls and Nishigaki ran away.

"Oh!" called out the Song And Dance Man, "By the way, the doors are all locked!~"

The students split into groups and ran to the various floors and rooms of the school. Akari, Kyouko, Yui, Rise, Nishigaki, Ayano, Sakurako, Himawari, Chitose, and Chizuru locked themselves into the student council's room.

"Yui...a-are we gonna die here?"

"No, Kyouko. We're not dying today. None of us are."

"I still blame Himawari's boobs for this."

"...Seriously, Sakurako? You're still acting like this even when there are two psychopaths about to kill us?! You're pitiful."

"No, YOU'RE pitiful, Himawari!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Ayano. "You're BOTH pitiful! I'M pitiful for not saying that sooner! We're ALL THREE a pitiful menage-a-BOOBS! Well, _this_ boob is moving on. Y'know, you two may not have the courage to face it, but I finally do!"

"A-Ayano, is this really the time-"

"No, Chitose, they need to hear this: Sakurako and Himawari, you are now and have always been hopelessly in...I GUESS the word for it is 'love'...and unfortunately for you, like it or not, you always WILL be!"

"You are so-"

"This is NOT-"

"I KNOW! _I KNOW!_...Now you're gonna deny it! Even though it's LUDICROUSLY obvious to EVERYONE around you, you two will go on pretending that it's not true because you're emotional INFANTS! You're in a living _Hell!_ You love each other. And you hate each other. And you hate yourselves for loving each other. _Well,_ my dear friends, I want no _part_ of it! And neither does anyone else! If you two can't just say how you feel about each other after all this is over, I'm quitting the student council! And you two can just get on with your... _denial fest._ "

"...Ayano, did you get all that from Cheers?"

"That's not the point, Toshinou Kyouko."

"Look," said Yui, "we can save stupid drama for after we get out of this. We need to find a way out. Akari, see if you can find a ladder or something."

Akari said nothing.

"Akari?"

"Oh, uh...yeah. Yeah, I'll start looking for one."

"What about Chinatsu?" asked Kyouko. "We can't just leave her here to die!"

"And what about the others?" asked Chitose.

"We can't save them if we're dead!" said Chizuru.

"Alright," said Nishigaki, "everyone calm down. Akari, have you found that ladder yet?"

"I found it!"

"Good, now let's get out of here."

Rise opened the window and put the ladder through it. They all climbed down and started to run.

"I think we're almost at the parking lot!" said Kyouko. "We're safe! We're..."

They noticed a giant white wall surrounding the schoolyard, trapping them in.

"Oh, we're fucked."

In the school, the Song And Dance Man was talking to Chinatsu.

"I cut off a piece of myself and allowed it to grow around the school. Your friends can't escape. Not even the one you love."

"I swear to God, if you hurt Yui-"

"The only god is the Master Of Puppets. And I am his most powerful servant. Five percent human, ninety-five percent Death Fiber. Part mortal, part god. I guess that makes me...Jesus, in a way. Or the Antichrist. Doesn't really matter to me. But going back to not hurting Yui...well, what if I didn't hurt her? What if I hurt someone else?"

"Like who?"

"What if I hurt Kyouko? Then you could have Yui all to yourself."

"W-what?! Kyouko's my friend, you can't-"

"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO. Just hear me out, alright? Kyouko's Yui's best friend. But...maybe they're...well, you know, more than friends. I mean, come on. Have you seen how close they are?"

"W-well, yeah, but..."

"Think about it, kid. If Kyouko's out of the picture, that gets rid of your main romantic rival. And Yui will need a shoulder to cry on after her best friend dies. Now...what if I don't kill Kyouko? What if you kill her?"

"I-I can't-"

"You CAN and you WILL. And you wanna know how I know that? Because I know, deep down, in your darkest thoughts and feelings...you want to kill her. She's just so annoying, isn't she? You HATE her, don't you?"

"...You promise that if I kill Kyouko...then you won't hurt Yui?"

"Of course. Yui won't even know you did it."

Chinatsu sighed. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Good girl~"

Houka walked into the room. "Has it been an hour yet? It's been so long since I've killed someone, and I'm getting impatient."

"Just a second, doc. I just got us a new recruit~"

Houka smiled under his mask. "Really?"

"That's right. Little China just said she'll kill one of her own friends for us. Y'know, kid, you remind me of this story I heard once, travelling across the omniverse. It's about a girl who would do anything, who would kill anyone, just to protect the boy she loved. She even had pink hair, just like you!~ Oh, and the boy had black hair, just like Yui. She was from Earth-MN-1A, I think."

"1A?" asked Houka.

"Yeah, fuckin' time travelers. That universe is just an undead shithole now."

"Time travel? How interesting."

"Now, what was her name?"

"Yuno Gasai," replied a voice behind them.

They turned around to see a black portal. Inside was a Japanese boy, about fourteen years old, with short black hair. Even the Song And Dance Man felt that something was just...not right about him. The Song And Dance Man said what everyone was thinking:

"Oh, what fresh hell is this?"

Note: That's right, Yuki Amano just stepped out of that portal!~ Or at least, something that looks like him~ Also, I forgot to mention that Ryuko considers Junketsu to be dangerous, but ultimately necessary, like how Satsuki views him; she's also not quite sure what to make of the Earth-2 Nonon, and she considers Rei to be a friend~

New bio!:~

Name: Satsuki Kiryuin (Earth-1)

Age: 20

Species: (Dormant) Life Fiber-Infused Human (50%)

Ethnicity: Japanese

Sexuality: Homo

Alignment: Lawful Neutral - Lawful Good

Born on April 5, 1996, Satsuki is incredibly determined, and will let nothing get in her way of killing Ragyo. She has absolutely no fear, and is more like Ryuko than she wants to admit. Like Ryuko, she was originally only motivated by her father's death, but eventually became a true heroine. She deeply regrets some of the things she did as Student Council President, but believes them to have been necessary. She loves Ryuko and would do anything to protect her. Nonon is the person she loves more than anyone else. She considers the Student Council, especially Shiro and Ira, to be her closest friends. She views Junketsu as dangerous, but ultimately necessary to use. She likes Senketsu because he makes Ryuko happy. She is amused by the antics of Mako and her family. She regrets allowing Nui to fall under Ragyo's influence, and desperately wants to make it up to her. She considers Jack to be a good person, despite his vocal dislike of her, Nui, and the Student Council. She hates Ragyo more than anything else. She considers Soroi a surrogate father figure. She considers Rei to be a good person who had made bad decisions. She is interested in the Earth-2 Nonon, and is intrigued by the existence of alternate universes.


	47. One Snake, Two Snakes

Note: The following chapter is set on Earth-1.

Everyone was in the living room, discussing their new arrival.

"Well," said Houka, "if anything, this certainly appears to confirm Nui's multiverse story."

"I analyzed her blood," said Shiro, "and it appears that she has been infused with what appear to be nanomachines. It's likely that they induce healing, explaining how she survived that fall."

"They could be her Earth's version of Life Fibers."

"Interesting possibility."

"Okay," said Ryuko, "so, am I the only one here that finds this _weird as all fuck?_ "

"What I wanna know," said Uzu, "is what her intentions are. Like, why'd she come here?"

"You'll have to ask her that when she wakes up," said Satsuki. The alternate Nonon was sleeping in her and the main Nonon's room.

"At least this one's quiet," said Ira.

"Oh, fuck you, Toad!" said Nonon. "And Monkey has a point, as much as I hate to admit it. Why would this attractive, mute weirdo come here? Why not somewhere else?"

"Wait," said Nui, "why is she mute? Shouldn't these Life Fiber nanomachines have healed her?"

"It could be that whoever designed them deliberately programmed them not to heal her," said Houka. "Maybe they didn't like each other."

"Who would do such an awful thing?!" asked Mako.

"Well, Nui mentioned that my alternate universe doppelganger struck her as a very sadistic person. And if he's anything like me, he's certainly intelligent enough to create nanomachines."

"Since Nui mentioned that the Song And Dance Man was working with the alternate Houka," said Shiro, "it could be possible that if this Nonon is an enemy of him as well, meaning that she's on our side."

They were interrupted by the alternate Nonon knocking on the wall.

"Oh, you're up," said Satsuki. "We were wondering if you could answer some questions."

"Sure," signed the alternate Nonon.

"Oh, thank God," said Ryuko, "I thought we were gonna have to play charades or some shit."

"In prison, you learn a few things," she signed.

"Well that's just great, I'm a criminal!" said Nonon sarcastically. "I guess it explains the outfit."

"At least I'm not wearing a fucking Strawberry Shortcake hat."

Uzu laughed. "I like her already."

"Shut up, Monkey."

"Y'know," signed Nonon-2, "I kicked him in the balls on my Earth."

Nonon-1 laughed.

"Why'd I get kicked in the balls?!"

"Does she need a reason, Monkey?"

"He was trying to kill my Earth's Satsuki, her butler, and her mother."

"...Why would I do that?"

"Because you were a drugged-up psycho."

"Alright," said Ira, "if Inumuta's a serial killer, and Sanageyama's drug addict, what was I?"

"A gang leader. You really played up the whole 'scary black guy' thing. You were my pimp for a while, before Satsuki and I went to jail."

"So," said Nonon-1, "were you and your Satsuki dating too?"

"Yeah. It was amazing. Well, before her mom made her break up with me. She had good intentions, and she eventually realized she was wrong, but..." Nonon-2 sighed. "That was the worst day of my life. I just...I lost it. I took a shotgun, I went down to the bank, and I tried to rob it. Well, not really. See, the point was to get a cop to shoot me. I wanted to die. I had nothing to live for. When Ryuko and her partner-I think his name was Mikisugi or something-arrested me, I was already planning to hang myself in my jail cell. But Satsuki, she lied to the judge and said she made me do it. So we both went to jail."

"Where is she now?" asked Ryuko.

Nonon-2 looked down. "Dead. That fucking bastard, Inumuta, he killed her. Then he threatened my family so I'd work for him and join his gang of psychos."

"I'm assuming you're referring to Uzu and Ira?" said Shiro.

"Yeah. And you were part of it, too. You were like this mad scientist creep who mixed AIDS, cancer, and flesh-eating disease. Only thing is, you never expected to accidentally infect yourself with it."

"...But cancer isn't a virus, that doesn't make any sense."

"Well, you figured it out somehow. And there was this...thing Inumuta was working for, the Song And Dance Man. Kinda looks like your friend over there."

"Yeah," said Jack, "but I don't dress like some damn pole-smoker."

"You don't dress like anything, you're naked."

"And?"

"...Anyway, we all went to another universe, where the Song And Dance Man wanted to kill some kids, because...I dunno, I think he's just making it up as he goes along. So, obviously, I was against this, and when Inumuta tried to kill them, I screamed loud enough to hurt his ears. You see, the Life Fiber nanomachine things altered my DNA or some shit, so even though I can't talk..."

"...You can weaponize your screams," said Houka. "Amazing."

"And the Life Fibers gave him really sensitive hearing, so that pissed him off. But the Song And Dance Man got some kind of telepathic message from his boss, the Master Of Puppets."

"I'm familiar with him," said Jack.

"So, we all went back into this universal portal thing, but I got separated from them, and next thing I know, I'm crashing through your roof. Sorry about that, by the way."

"It's cool, I'll fix it later."

"So I was a cop?" asked Ryuko.

"Yeah. A pretty good one, too."

"Awesome."

"What was the Underacheiver like on your Earth?" asked Nonon-1.

"A doctor."

"...No, seriously, what was she?"

Author's note: I forgot to mention that Mako has some British ancestry from both her parents~ And new bio!:~

Name: Ira Gamagoori (Earth-1)

Age: 22

Species: Life Fiber-Affected Human (0.3%)

Ethnicity: Black/Japanese

Sexuality: Hetero

Alignment: Lawful Neutral-Lawful Good

Born on January 17, 1994, Ira's defining traits are his undying loyalty to Satsuki and being the largest member of the Student Council. He believes that laws are necessary and is driven by a code of honor. He is the son of an African-American soldier who had a one-night stand with his mother. While he regrets the things he did two years ago, he sees them as necessary. Ryuko, Mako, and Satsuki are his closest friends. He views the other members of the Student Council as his friends, although he is often annoyed by their antics. He views the Kamuis as powerful weapons that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. He is more amused than annoyed by Mako's family, likely due to their close friendship. He is suspicious of Nui and Rei, but believes that if Satsuki trusts them, he can trust them. He hates Ragyo. He is friends with Soroi. He and Jack dislike each other. He is suspicious of Nonon-2 for being a former criminal.


	48. Xmas Part 1: The Year Without An Eggnog

Jack and Ryuko were watching Christmas specials on TV.

"So, Jack, this is your first Christmas with us. How do you like it so far?"

"Not bad, kid. Not bad at all. This is the first Christmas I've had with other people since 'Nam."

"You were in the Vietnam War?"

"Yeah. I was in World War One since '14-had to lie about to my age for that one, bad idea-, I was in the Border War for about a year, I was involved in the Occupation Of Nicaragua for 3 years, I joined the Occupation Of Haiti in 1930, I was in the Occupation Of The Dominican Republic for two years, I was in the Russian Civil War, I was in the Posey War..."

"Damn, when weren't you at war?"

"Well, after the Posey War, there was a few years where I was back home in New York. Best years of my life. Anyway, I was also in World War Two, the Korean War, the Lebanon Crisis, Bay Of Pigs, Simba Rebellion, and the Vietnam War."

"Wow. So, you're, like, a war hero?"

Jack paused and drank from his bottle of vodka. "I'm not a hero, Ryuko."

Satsuki, Nui, Nonon-2, and the Student Council came downstairs.

"RYUKO MATOI!"

"For fuck's sake, Satsuki."

"We have an emergency."

"AN IMPORTANT EMERGENCY!"

"I can talk for myself, Ira."

"No, you can't!~" said Nui. She jumped on Ryuko's lap.

"Get off me."

"We don't have any eggnog! We need eggnog for Christmas!"

"I tried texting Rei to tell her to bring some," said Satsuki, "but I don't think it got through because of the weather."

"Why can't you just use any alcoholic drink?" asked Jack. "I mean, not mine, obviously."

"But they're not Christmas-y!" protested Nui. "We need Christmas alcohol! We need some darn eggnog!"

"I don't see why-"

"WE NEED SOME GOSH-DARN FUCKING EGGNOG!"

"Alright, calm your shit, Cyclops. There's a store down the street."

"Anyway," said Houka, "let's get in Ira's gay car and leave."

"...My car's not-"

"It's pretty fucking gay," said Nonon.

"There's only five seats," said Satsuki,"so Shiro, Nui, and Nonon-2, you can just sit on the floor or something. Jack, do you want to come with us?"

"No, and for three reasons. One, I look like a Scooby-Doo villain. Two, we're not friends. And three, I don't like any of you. Except for Nonon-2, she seems alright."

"Thanks, man," signed Nonon-2.

"To the Toadmobile!" said Shiro.

They all went outside and got in Ira's car.

"Ira, I gotta ask," said Uzu, "why pink?"

"It's the only color the dealership had."

"...You couldn't have painted it?"

"I didn't paint it because shut up, that's why."

They drove off to the store. Mako came downstairs.

"Where'd everyone go?"

"They went on a righteous crusade for eggnog," said Ryuko. "And your family and Soroi are still Christmas shopping..."

"And the Kamuis are hanging out in the laundry room..."

Jack noticed what the two girls were thinking. "Y'know, I think I left something in the, uh, the basement. You kids have fun."

"Thanks, Jack."

"No problem, Ryuko. I've been in love before, too."

Meanwhile, at the store, Nui and the cashier were having a minor disagreement.

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF FUCKING EGGNOG?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?!"

"Nui Harime, the murderer who attempted to help Ragyo Kiryuin destroy the world?"

"...No."

"Because you look a lot like-"

"I'm not."

Back at the house, Ryuko and Mako were getting dressed.

"That was amazing, Ryuko."

"Christmas sex really is the best sex."

At Ragyo's factory, she was feeling bored.

"Honestly, I have just had the worst few months. First, the Primordial Life Fiber is killed. Then, I'm conscripted by some anorexic ghoul of ambiguous sexuality in his attempt to take over the world for an abomination beyond time and space. And then Nui leaves me, and THEN the goddamn Kamuis are stolen! Now I'm working on this new project, and I am nowhere close to being finished!" She turned to the real Houka Inumuta, who was tied up in a chair. "Do you have any idea how stressful this is?"

"How terrible for you," he said sarcastically. "I mean, it's almost as if you were kidnapped by your psychopathic, time-traveling, alternate universe counterpart."

"Oh, quit whining."

At the house, everyone had come home.

"So, Senketsu, how was your day with Junkestsu?" asked Ryuko.

"He tried to draft your laundry into a rebellion against humanity. He wanted the security camera as his second-in-command."

"Well," said Nui, "I guess there's gonna be no eggnog this year."

There was a knock at the door.

"Now, who could that be?" asked Satsuki. She opened the door, revealing Rei with a black garbage bag.

"Rei!" exclaimed Nui cheerfully.

"THE BEAST OF THE APOCALYPSE!" exclaimed Junketsu silently. "MR. SECURITY CAMERA, RETREAT!" Mr. Security Camera did nothing.

"I got your text. I tried to come over earlier, but there was too much snow. This bag has enough eggnog for a year."

"Rei, thank you so much! This is the best Christmas I've ever had!~"

"This is the first Christmas you've ever had."

"Oh, great," said Jack, "another one of Kiryuin's fascist friends."

"You must be Jack Blackstone."

"Jack, be nice," said Mako. "It's Christmas! Maybe we can sing some Christmas carols! But, like, inside. Y'know, because we'd all freeze to death outside."

"Well, I do have a small piano inside of me." He opened up his chest and pulled out the piano.

"That was horrifying," signed Nonon-2.

"Play Jingle Bells!" said Barazo.

"No, play Silent Night!" said Sukuyo.

"Play Snoopy's Christmas!" said Mataro.

"Play Carol Of The Bells," said Soroi. "The August Burns Red version."

"I got one," said Jack. "Here's something I heard at 2:00 AM on TV:

When the last present's delivered

And the snow outside's gettin' thicker

So let's open that bottle of liquor

Hey, bourbon, take me home!"

"We are so getting sued," said Nui.

"On bourbon, on vodka, on scotch, and on gin

Take me back, let the North Pole dancin' begin

It's my party, I'll be naughty, get more lit than a tree

Put that elf on a shelf, Merry Christmas to me!

Oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon

Oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon, oh bourbon

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Everybody now!"

Everyone started to sing.

"Oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon!"

"C'mon, now!

Let's hear it!"

"Oh, bourbon!"

"Yeah! Gimme another one, okay!"

"Oh, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon!"

Author's note: Yes, that song is from Bob's Burgers~ Merry Christmas, everyone!~


	49. Xmas Part 2: Jailhouse Rocky Horror

Note: The following chapter is set on Earth-2.

It was snowing outside the wall that surrounded Honnouji. The HCPD was spending Christmas worrying about the hostages. Aikuro and Isshin were trying to figure out how to break the wall.

"Goddammit. We've tried everything and we haven't made a dent!"

"Aikuro, we need to find something to break the fucking wall!"

"What do you think I've been doin' for the past few weeks?!"

"Look, we're both under a lot of stress. We just need to keep trying."

Aikuro sighed. "I know. We've spent so much time and money..." He paused. "Wait. Money."

"Do you have an idea?"

"You bet I do! My house used to be a robotics factory owned by Takarada. All the machinery and parts are still there. The robots were used for everything, including the military."

"So if we can build a robot..."

"...Then we might be able to break the wall!"

Inside the prison, Mako and Tsumugu were looking at a map of the prison on the computer.

"Alright, the prison's separated into the male and female general populations, the psych ward, the hospital, death row, the showers, and the cafeteria. Shinjiro's in the psych ward on the other side of the building, so we'll go there first. Maybe he knows where the others are."

"I never thought I'd be spendin' Christmas like this."

"Yeah. I always thought my first Christmas with Ryuko would be great. I guess not."

"At least I'm not alone this year. I remember when me and my sister were kids, and she'd always try to stay up late to catch Santa." He laughed. "Never did catch him."

"When I was younger, I always helped mom bake Christmas cookies. Mataro never seemed interested in any of it."

The door was kicked down from the outside. Takarada walked in, followed by a small group of prisoners. A familiar laugh came from behind them. It grew louder as the boy laughing walked into the hospital. He was carrying a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, with a maniacal grin on his face.

"Was someone talking about me? My ears are burning."

In the psych ward, Ragyo and Rei woke up in Nui's cell. She had been decorating it with drawings of Christmas trees while singing.

"Don't get strung out

By the way I look

Don't judge a book

By its cover

I'm not much of a man

By the light of day

But by night

I'm one hell of a lover!~"

She noticed that her mother and friend were awake. "It's about time you woke up! Just in time for Christmas. I should fill you in on everything that's happened."

"I'd appreciate that," said Ragyo.

"Well, first I woke up in the hospital, and I saw that there was a wall and some cops outside the prison. You two were also in the hospital, along with Ryuko's girlfriend and the guy that saved Shinjiro when I was born. I contemplated taking them with me so I could kill them, but I could only carry you two. When I brought you here...something weird happened."

"What happened?" asked Rei.

"I split into two people! Shinjiro and I had two different bodies. My theory is that when we were unconscious, our DNA was somehow changed. It would make sense that you guys have powers, too. Anyway, Shinjiro ran off to find Ryuko and Satsuki, and he hasn't come back. That's why I haven't killed you two; I need your help to find him."

"So, why should we believe you? I mean, you are crazy."

"Rei, I can prove it to you."

"How?"

Nui pulled her dress up.

"...Okay, I believe you. Not bad, by the way."

"Oh?~"

"Yeah, I, uh..." Rei blushed. "I'm not really into guys."

"Me neither~" Nui closed her eye. "I'm winking, by the way."

"If you two are done flirting," said Ragyo, "maybe we should try to find the others."

"The first good idea you've ever had, mother. Alright!" Nui opened the door to her cell. She walked out and noticed that all of the other cell doors were opened. The psych ward's door was also open, allowing her to see the group of prisoners outside of the hospital. "Let's...oh, that's a lot of people."

"Mako and Tsumugu are in there! We have to help them!"

"You're right!"

"I'm glad you're doing the right thing-"

"They could help us find Shinjiro!"

"...Never mind."

Note: Questions and reviews are always appreciated!~


	50. Xmas Part 3: FIFTY CHAPTERS, HOLY SHIT!

Note: The following is set on Earth-3.

It had been two years since the death of Satsuki Kiryuin. Lord Houka Inumuta looked around his throne room. Every bit of pink and white had been replaced by dark blue and black. Wires crawled across the walls, leading to a large computer across from his chair. On it was surveillance of all five districts of Japan.

Each district was ruled by one of his New Student Council members. The island of Honnou City, ruled personally by Lord Houka, was the new capital of Japan, and a technological marvel. They were decades ahead of many other countries.

The northern part of Japan was ruled by Uzu, his devoted, half-blind second-in-command. His district primarily focused on agriculture and natural resources. The western part was ruled by Maiko, the intelligent third-in-command. Her district was focused on manufacturing. The eastern part was overseen by Takaharu, the violent fourth-in-command. It was focused on entertainment and consumer goods. Finally, the southern part was ruled by Shiro, the reluctant fifth-in-command. His district was seen as the most important one, as it was focused on military weapons.

The military of Japan was now primarily Life Fiber-based. Houka had converted his Inugami Regalia into a Life Fiber factory. He would never admit it, but using the absurdly powerful Goku Uniform was overwhelming, and had nearly killed him. He had only survived due to being enhanced by Life Fibers.

Much to everyone's surprise, Japan had begun thriving under Houka's rule. Satsuki was seen as a violent, tyrannical, sociopathic social Darwinist, which certainly wasn't true. She wasn't a sociopath.

Houka had changed Satsuki's class system. Instead of No, One, Two, and Three-Stars, there were now Ten, Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen-Stars, with Houka as the single Eighty-Star. The poorest citizens of Japan were now ten times richer than they were under Satsuki's rule.

International relations were touched upon only when necessary. The presidents of America and Russia saw him as a dangerous, untrustworthy, yet necessary ally in Asia, where Communism was spreading slowly.

The citizens of Japan were happy, and Houka made sure they stayed that way; not because he cared about them, but because he was smart enough to know that happy people were people that didn't revolt. He knew it was highly unlikely they'd succeed in a revolution, but you can never be too careful about these things.

Life in Japan was great. That is, if you ignored the fact that the emperor was an actual sociopath as opposed to an accused one, murdered the girl he claimed to love in a fit of rage (and immediately started thinking of how to hide the body instead of regretting his actions), secretly watched all of Japan through hidden Life Fiber cameras (something that the Song And Dance Man showed him how to do), and had been keeping Shiro's uncle prisoner in Honnouji Academy's basement for two years.

Shiro walked into the throne room, holding a stack of papers.

"Oh, there you are, Shiro. Have anything to report on our secret project?"

"Project: Sisyphus is doing fine. However, the subject still has severe psychological trauma."

"Of course she does. It's _her_ , after all. That freak has always been crazy. If she gets violent again, use the electroshock."

"You're a monster, Houka. I should've killed you when I had the chance."

"Should have, would have, could have, Shiro."

Houka stood up from his chair. He had stopped wearing his glasses, as he no longer needed them due to the Life Fibers enhancing his sight. The colors on his uniform had been reversed, with the black parts now being white, and vice versa. The grey parts were now jet black (darker than the rest of his uniform), and the light blue wires had been replaced with dark blue ones. He was wearing a long, flowing black cape, with three jet black spikes on each shoulder. The stars on his uniform had a line slashed through them.

"One day, I swear to God, I'll-"

"You'll what, Shiro? Kill me? You know you won't, and I know you won't. If I die, your uncle dies. And the people LOVE me, Shiro, they actually fucking LOVE ME! It's absolutely incredible! They'll never let you kill their hero. Because that's what I am, Shiro. I'm the hero who overthrew a vicious tyrant and began a new golden age for this country. Besides, they'll be extra pissed if you kill me on Inumas."

Inumas was the holiday Houka had created to replace Christmas. It was basically the same, so nobody complained.

"These people will know what you are eventually, Houka. I promise you that."

"And until then, I'll be here, drinking wine out of the skulls of your friends."

Note: Finally, back to Earth-Three!~ Please leave reviews, I love hearing what my readers think~


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